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“Yeah, I’ll be there, just not as long. I’m going to come in the day before Thanksgiving and leave out the following Saturday.”
My jaw clenched as I closed my eyes. Shaking my head, I pulled in a deep breath. I hated making Veronica feel bad about her schedule, but it seemed like she was giving AJ less and less of her time. Truthfully, she wasn’t obligated to come at all because I had full custody, so I tried to work with what she gave. From the moment we met, I understood her desire and passion for becoming a traveling nurse. I don’t regret my son, but I do wish I would have had him with a woman who had a more stable career. Veronica was doing what she loved and making damn good money at it, so there was nothing I could say or do to make her slow down to spend time with our son. All I could do was make the most of the situation we were in.
“He was looking forward to spending the whole week with you since he will be out of school. Is there a particular reason you can’t take that time for him?”
“Honestly, Amaru, I’m tired. I’m taking a vacation with my girls. We’re all over the place with our schedules and decided that week would be a good one to take a trip. I’ll still be there for three and a half days, and that will give AJ and me more than enough time to create some memories.”
“All right, V. I guess I’ll see you when you get here and I drop AJ off.”
“Okay. Also… I was wondering if we could maybe have lunch or dinner or something as a family? There’s something I need to talk to the both of you about.”
Oh shit. My heart squeezed. If it was concerning the both of us, either she wouldn’t be coming back home for Christmas, or this was about a man.
“Just tell me now so I’ll be prepared to help him process whatever it is.”
She sighed heavily into the phone. “Okay, Amaru, um… gosh.” Veronica chuckled nervously. “So next year I won’t be able to come back home. I’ll be settling in Washington for a while and taking a break from work.”
“Why not here?”
“I’m pregnant, and the father of my child is in Washington. He’s a surgeon that I worked with during my last assignment. We’re getting married. I’m still in my first trimester, so I’m not telling a lot of people. But I did want to talk to you and AJ about it when I got home.”
Pride filled me first. I wanted to question why this baby and man was worth taking a break, but AJ and I weren’t. Once I released that, I was able to be honest with myself and admit that Veronica and I were never in love. I didn’t mind not being the man worth slowing down for. AJ, however, should have been. If she wanted to give that honor to the man she loved and the baby that came from that union, I would accept it, mainly because I had no choice.
“That’s… congratulations, V. I’m uh…” Chuckling, I couldn’t get the words out. “I wish I could say I’m happy for you. I am, but I’m sad for my son. I know he’s going to be hurt by this. He’s going to want to come and see you, Veronica. Will that ever be an option? I know you’ll need time in the beginning to adjust to having a newborn but… will you at some point have time for him? And will your fiancé be okay with that?”
“He can come eventually. But you’re right, I will need time to adjust. You had AJ while he was a newborn, so I don’t have the experience you do. I think maybe by the time the baby is four or five, I’ll be settled enough into mom life to handle two children.”
My ears started to ring. I refused to believe what I’d just heard.Did this woman say she planned to wait at least five years to see our fucking son?
“And just so we’re on the same page, during those five years, technically almost six including the length of your pregnancy, you don’t plan to travel here to see him?”
“No, I don’t,” she said after a brief pause.
My tongue rolled over my teeth. “All right. Don’t put that on my son on your next visit. Let him enjoy having you around, not being upset because you’re replacing him with a baby with a man you actually want to be with. One that’s worthy of your time and attention.”
“Amaru, that’s not what I’m doin—”
“That’sexactlywhat the fuck you’re doing. It might not look like that to you, but it is. And I’m not going to let you subject him to that kind of pain and rejection.”
“I’m just trying to live my life!You’rethe one always saying there’s more to life than work.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t saying that so you would stop seeing my son altogether to start fresh with another fucking man!”
She huffed, and I laughed, realizing it was pointless having this conversation with her. Veronica had proven the priority she would give our son when she signed her rights to him over. I shouldn’t have been surprised by this, but I was. I guess because she’d been coming around for holidays, I thought maybe there was a chance she’d realize how special she was to him and try to do more.
“I have to go, Veronica. But remember what the fuck I said. Don’t say shit about this to my son when you get here.”
“Amaru, I…”
Ending the call, I chucked my phone onto my desk. With a roar, I used my arm to swipe everything off my desk, not caring about how it would take double the work to separate the files. I loved my son with everything in me, and it broke my heart into pieces knowing his mother didn’t feel the same way. Six years would turn into forever, and there was nothing I could do to spare my son from that.
“Fuck!” I yelled, punching the wall repeatedly.
The only thing that made me stop was the ringing of my phone. My adrenaline was so high, I didn’t realize the damage I was doing to my hand until I tried to use it to grab my phone. Already, it was cut open and bruised.
“What!” I answered, not bothering to look and see who was on the other end.
“Baby.” At the sound of my mother’s sniffling, my anger immediately began to dissipate.
