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“No, dear. Everything is under control. Go sit with everyone,” she says. “I want to stay busy.”
I go find a seat somewhere in the living room and end up sitting near Uncle Mark and Cousin Joe, father and son and the loudest of the family.
Drinks then food are passed around. Everybody talks about grandma, always fondly and dearly. I remember she could be mean when she wanted to, with her shoe in her hand and her deadly aim, but not that it diminishes the love and good memories I have of her.
Mom runs around, checking in on everyone and asking if the food is good enough or if the drinks are cold enough.
Words are spoken around the room, words about grandma. Everyone has something happy to say, even the children.
My turn comes, and I stand from my spot, feet fumbling and head swaying thanks to the few cognacs I have in me.
“Grandma was the best,” I start, not knowing exactly where this’ll go. “Her food was the only food better than mom’s, her Christmas cookies were great, her lullabies were the sweetest. I can’t think of summers growing up without thinking of her. I’m only speaking of these childhood memories because they’re the ones I’ve got. I was always so busy in adult life that I didn’t see her that often. So, everyone: let’s cherish each other while we can and not take each other for granted, okay?”
Mom and dad start clapping and my face, already beet red due to the drinking, turns purple with cringe. As soon as Uncle Mark gets to his talking, I start heading for the stairs, feeling exhausted.
On my way up, mom heads over and stops me. With a hand on my hip and pleading eyes, she asks me, “Are you okay, Harvey?”
I sigh deeply, but then smile, and hold her hand to reassure her. “I’m fine, mom. Just tired.”
“You didn’t even eat anything!” she complains, but I pat her hand and wink at her.
“I’ll eat something later,” I say, and then leave for my bedroom.
I’m drained so it doesn’t take me too long to blackout, still in the black suit I had to rent in town. An unknown number of hours later, there’s a knock at my door, and I jolt up in a seated position and say, “Come in!”
It’s mom, carrying in a tray of leftovers with a big glass of milk to complement it.
“Everybody is out like a light already, even Grant,” she says with a small smile.
“Kiera and Michael?” I yawn it out as I reach for the tray and lay it over the bed.
“Both fast asleep. They have an early flight tomorrow,” she says, sitting on the opposite side of the tray.
I start to eat, and with a mouthful, I inform her, “My flight is not that early, but I’ll hitch a ride with them.”
“I’ll wake you up!” Mom says with pep. “Are you sure you are okay, dear?”
She places a hand on my back and rubs it very gently. After a moment, she goes on, now scolding me, “Harvey, go change out of these clothes; they’re still wet from the rain!”
“After I eat, mom!” I complain, shoving even more food into my mouth.
“Okay, then, I’ll leave you be,” she stands, kisses my temple and heads for the door.
She stops by the door frame, however, looking thoughtfully over her shoulder.
“Sweetheart,” she continues. “I know you feel bad you didn’t see her a lot, but Grandma Rose knew you were busy with hockey and fully supported you. She always knew you loved her. Please know that.”
I feel like I’m being punched right straight on in the feelings when she says that, and I need the aid of milk to make the latest food go down.
“Thanks, mom,” I say. “That means a lot.”
She smiles and leaves me be. With the door open, but on my own and at peace to eat as much as I can, and man, did she put a lot of food on my plate.
I place the empty tray on the floor and go take a hot shower. It’s peaceful and allows me space to think, and this time the shower makes me relive Elsa and our intimate moments. It was only a couple of days ago, and I can’t get that woman out of my mind.
As I pay her due homage with my bare hands, I come to the conclusion that I need to see her again. When I get out of the shower, the first thing I do is look for my phone, but… I can’t find it anywhere.
After searching all throughout the room, I get dressed and go look for it downstairs, even calling it using the landline my parents still insist on having.
