AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’m looking at my phone, juggling it with one hand, wondering whether I should call my manager. Andrew Downey had me settled on the Arctic Wolves almost twenty years ago. He does a decent job of managing my contract negotiations and getting me involved in charity events, but for the most part, he stays in the background.
He was a huge help when I first joined the NHL when I had a million questions, but these days I rarely have a reason to reach out.
I call him and place the phone to my ear. It rings several times before he answers. “Hello! Harvey! Long time no see.”
“Hello, Andrew,” I say, frowning. “Listen: why didn’t I know anything about this rumor of me retiring? Has the mob approached you?”
“Huh,” Andrew sounds confused. “No. I thought you were the one who started it! It made complete sense to me why you’d do it.”
“And why would I do that, Andrew?” I start to motion my arm around like crazy, but realizing he can’t see me, I sit on my hand to try and calm myself down. “I don’t wanna retire!”
“Oh, but think about it, Harvey! What a publicity stunt this could be! The biggest center of all time retiring victorious after the Stanley Cup, huh?” He continues, “Do you think you can get the team into the finals? It’s looking good so far.”
“Of course, I can, but that’s not the point! The point is…” I hiss, feeling my temples. “I don’t want to retire, man! And you should have come to me on this!”
“Alright, alright, but I figured you’d come to me when you are ready to talk like you always do. Anyway, the truth is it’s been getting harder and harder to get you gigs, okay?” Andrew says it with sincerity.
He continues, “And as you know, your current contract isn’t up for two more years, but that doesn’t mean they can’t just buy you out. I would say you are pretty dang close to being on the permanent bench if you know what I mean.”
My eyes widen, both offended and taken by the realization that…
He is right.
“Andrew, then what am I even doing here then?” I plop back in bed, one arm over my head.
“Coach Dawson is sentimental and knows you helped score winning points for the last two Stanley Cup wins the Arctic Wolves had, remember?”
“That’s right! He must want me to help win another under his watch before he sees me off then,” I say, nostalgic.
“Yup,” I can hear him nodding. “Harvey, my friend, this may be the final roll of the dice. Don’t waste it. Come out on top. Even if Coach Dawson lets you keep going until your contract ends, you want to consider your next steps.”
“Eh, I’ll think about it…” and I hang up before the conversation gets even more depressing.
I have some dinner on my own, take a shower, and then go to bed early, just watching silly video playlists on my phone to distract me. Soon I’m sleeping and having the most frustrating dream about missed shots in hockey and missed shots in life.
I wake up in cold sweats, forcing me to hop in the shower again.
There is a voice in the back of my head saying that maybe it’s time. After all, I’m going to be a dad and I can spend more time focusing on my relationship with Elsa and being more involved in my businesses.
But I’m nothing if not stubborn, and I want to have it all. I’m not ready to give up on hockey. It’s been my life for so long, and they will have to force me out.
From the hotel to the bus and from the bus to the stadium, I’m back into the old routine of distributing selfies and autographing jerseys for fans hanging outside the stadium. However, I notice that the younger players are far more popular than me, especially with the kiddos.
The ones who come to me are mostly the old school fellas, men over thirty-five, forty, who were my fans when they were the same age as those kids.
But I don’t let it bring me down. I decide to shake it off as I walk inside the stadium. We gear up in the lockers and head to the ice, hear a good lecture from Coach Dawson, and start the first exercises.
Yet again, my head is not in the game. I keep on searching for Elsa in the bleachers, and only when I find her does my heart feel at ease.
We’re working through the cones, moving the pucks in and out for the goalie to defend or take it in, when I see her behind the goal, face stuck to the plexiglass and smiling like the sweetest of the fools, just the way I’m smiling at her, though I doubt she can see over the amount of protective gear covering my face.
It’s fun to see her like this. I hope she is feeling less anxious about the pregnancy. The truth is, I’m feeling calmer about this situation than I thought I would. Maybe retiring soon wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, although most of me still isn’t ready to let go of hockey. Maybe in the next few years I could retire, but I don’t want to right now.
When the practice ends, she’s waiting for me on the way to the locker room. I take off my helmet and we kiss, briefly, and I stop to chat just for a second.
“I talked to my manager, and he thinks I should retire too!” I say, appalled.
“Didn’t even know you had a manager,” Elsa clings to my jersey. The smell of sweat is nauseous to me, but I hear some women like it.
