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There was another woman.
It was me, but it was just a kiss. A single kiss that meant absolutely nothing.
I have so many things I want to say to her. If I had known he was engaged, I never ever would have flung myself at him. I wouldn’t have desired him.
I also want to tell her that he pushed me away. He knew it was wrong, and he probably called off the wedding out of an insane amount of guilt.
I can’t say any of those things though. None of it will make her feel better.
I kneel by her side and go to grab her hand yet pull pack and lay my hand on my thigh. “Allison, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I don’t know why Will called off your engagement, but you’re better off finding out now that the man who you love isn’t the one for you. I understand the heartache of your whole life plan just evaporating before your eyes. This is a heartbreak that will linger for a while, but youwillget through it.”
“I think I was pushy. I tried too hard.”
Jillian takes a step forward. “You can’t do that to yourself. Don’t go into the what-ifs of life. Sometimes, things don’t work out. And sometimes, they do. Maybe it’s just a case of cold feet, and he’s going to come back and beg for your hand. It wouldn’t be the first time a man panicked before making the biggest commitment of his life.”
“I’m nothing now. I was supposed to get married, and now, I’m a sham,” she cries.
“You are beautiful and very sweet, and from what I understand, you have an amazing family. A million girls would envy you, and yet you’re hurting. You can’t define your self-worth based on who loves you. I’m sorry we can’t help you,” I say.
She sniffs and takes a few long breaths, nodding and looking over at me. “Actually, there is one thing you can do. So, part of me thinks maybe you’re the reason he got cold feet.”
My insides plummet to the bottom of my gut. “Me?”
“Well, you probably should refrain from talking to future grooms the way you did to Will.”
“It was just conversation and a dance or three.” My voice cracks.
“Dance? Oh, did you mention that? I just remember you talking about divorce and pensions and whose turn it was to take the garbage out. I mean, I’m sure they’re all valid things we should discuss before walking down the aisle, but I don’t think he was prepared to have that conversation with the wedding designer.”
Jillian’s head flinches back slightly. “You talked about pensions?”
“I might have lost a moment of clarity during that brunch,” I explain and then turn back to Allison. “I shouldn’t have brought my divorce status to the table, but I don’t know how I can help now.”
“You should talk to him. Tell him all the good things about being married and how amazing weddings are.”
“That sounds like a terrible idea,” I say, and she wails again. It’s loud, and it sounds like a siren of bridal despair. “Of course … anything’s worth a try. I’lltry, but I don’t think he wants to hear from me, a stranger.”
“Thank you. I just don’t know what else to do. I think William needs a push, you know. If everyone keeps telling him how happy he’ll be once we’re married, he’ll do it. He just has to get to the altar, is all.”
“Coercion. Brilliant plan. Let’s help you up,” Jillian states rather matter-of-factly as we each place a hand under Allison’s arms and raise her from the bucket. “Melissa will talk to … what’s his name?”
“William,” she mutters as we walk her to the door.
“Yes. Hopefully, it all works out,” Jillian says. “You need to know that no man is worth feeling this terrible over. There might be someone far better waiting for you in the future, and if not, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish without a man. God created dildos and sperm banks for a reason.”
“Thank you both,” she says, and I think she wants to say even more, but Jillian slowly yet forcefully closes the door after waving and wishing Allison the best of luck in the future.
With her gone, Jillian and I stare at each other for a beat.
“That was weird,” Jillian states, rubbing her temple.
“Yeah. Especially since, only a week ago, I was making out with her fiancé in the parking lot of Lone Tavern.”
Jillian’s jaw drops. “Girl, you’d better start explaining.”
eight
“YOU MADE OUT WITHa guy and didn’t tell me or Jillian!” Tara says we wait in line for our espressos.
