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Until I heard him behind me offer a softly spoken, “Goodnight, Lorieyn.”
5
“Why won’t you tell anyone what happened?”
There were not many girls my age still at the academy, most having chosen the mating list in order to escape academy hell. Those born the same year as me? All of them would be graduating in six weeks. When they were gone, I would be the eldest, the last standing recruit aged twenty-two.
And with age came high expectations from the other girls in our secluded family. My mood would set their mood. My relationship with hope would determine their ability to keep faith.
It was an unfair position. At no point in my life had I craved a leadership role. I preferred being a big sister helper to the little kiddos, but the adolescents would come to me for advice. I had nothing of quality to offer the older girls. Like most of them, I didn’t want to be here either.
Nor would I be enthusiastic about directing them towardthe list. Not when the fundamental idea of it was so utterly unsettling to me.
“You haven’t eaten in two days, Lorieyn. We’re worried.” My visitor, Maeve’s, voice dropped to a whisper, as if authority might actually be listening to the goings on in my tiny dorm room. “Don’t make me report you. You know what will happen if he finds out you’ve skipped meals.”
He? The general? The only reason he would give a shit was because punishment was his forte.
Sulking, I shut my eyes to her. “Then don’t tell him.”
Maeve joined the academy the same year I had, yet she was far more advanced in ranking. A true testament to her hard work and determination. Head of my year and de facto leader of the girls, the way her mind worked was highly enjoyable. She’d been a good friend and confidant my entire life at the academy. Caring and driven, she had spent two days trying to convince me to get out of bed. Wasted her limited free time between classes and training trying to cheer me up.
Tucked under the covers with me, she’d waited patiently in silence, offering bits of gossip or notes from class, while I sighed and blinked at nothing.
But her trust in me was about to be deeply shaken. Unlike myself, Maeve coveted rank and acclaim. As she should. She had earned hers through hard work and excellent leadership.
If I were forced to give legitimate answers in class, she was about to lose a great deal of standing, and everyone would know how much of a fraud I was.
It might be seen as a threat to her… and others, whose position and life-long assignment would suffer.
Some might consider my whole academic career one dirty trick I had saved in my back pocket to unseat them weeks before their graduation. A contender they had been fooled into considering unworthy of their concern on the academic front.
After all, she and my other dear sisters had not chosenthe list. They had chosen military acclaim.
Worse, I would now be in a position of authority over all of them. An assistant instructor. The general might even force me to move from the student dorm to the teachers’ apartments. Upstairs.
Why couldn’t we just lay there and cuddle forever? Never talk about school or male expectations. We could pretend that nothing in the world was amiss and dream the day away.
“Just one more day.” That’s all I’d said, though I did put my arm around her middle to let her know she was welcome to nap with me.
“Even the humans have been asking where you went. Tamsyn took your normal shift standing guard at Field 27. Your farmers don’t like it when you’re not there. They think you’re lucky.”
Why were we still talking when napping was an option? “I’m confined to the girls’ dorms for another five days.”
Pulling the sheet over our heads to make a private little tent for two, Maeve grew conspiratorial. “Well, they gave me something for you. I smuggled in cookies.”
A carefully wrapped package came out of her pocket to rest on the pillow between us.
Cookies—my ultimate favorite thing I may or may not have eaten a bite or two of on the rare occasion a human might pass me adeeplyforbidden treat.
Outside food was absolutely not allowed to hybrid students. Our diets were specifically engineered for ultimate nutritional value. Meat cubes. Vegetable patties. Nutrition designed to help our complex systems develop properly.
Junk food was an extravagance that could not be wasted on a growing hybrid.
Humans seemed less concerned about their general state of health. After all, they were not government-funded military experiments. They had the luxury of sugar and chocolate.
Fortunately, the ones I had been working with for the last four years were also really nice. All women, save the occasional very young boy. One of them was a particularly good baker.
She’d made me a cake on my birthday when I’d come of age. Even the armed watcher standing on the parapet above had not reported my behavior when I’d eaten a slice.
