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“Well, I think it’s a good idea, as long as Ella and Jace are fine with it.” My mother speaks up as she starts grabbing plates to clear the table for dessert.
“Let me help you, Elaine,” Jace’s mom jumps up to help, “And I have to agree with you. It will save money all around. It’s not like we can stop anything that’s going to happen anyway. They are two grown adults that can make decisions on their own.”
My father seems to be the only one that isn’t on board, and when he throws his napkin down and leaves the table, I feel as though I should probably go have a father/daughter talk with him. I understand how hard all of this is on him, and we just keep throwing more things at him, but he needs to understand that I’m not a little girl anymore, even if I amhislittle girl.
“Excuse me, will you?” I ask Jace and he nods, knowing what I’m about to do.
He leans in and kisses my forehead, “Good luck, Precious.”
I knock on my father’s closed office door and wait for him to call out. When he does, I peek my head in, “Can I come in?”
He’s at his desk with his hands clasped together under his chin, holding his head up. His mouth tightens into a straight line, but he nods and sits back into his chair. Closing the door behind me, I don’t go straight to the chair in front of his desk; I go straight to him, and crawl into his lap. He can’t help but chuckle as I settle myself in.
“I guess you really are an adult, you can barely curl up in my lap anymore.” He kisses the top of my head.
“I will always find a way to curl up on my daddy’s lap.” I grin.
“Yeah, I know you will, baby.”
“Dad, why are you so upset about me and Jace?”
He sighs heavily, “You know I’ve always loved the kid, but after seeing that video, seeing what he does and says to you; that doesn’t sit well with me. Then to find out that he bullied you for two years and you suffered by yourself, yeah, that definitely made him lose points with me.”
“I know, Dad, but I need you to try and understand something, okay?”
He studies me for a moment before nodding, “I will try, but I’m not promising anything.”
“It’s all I ask,” I smile, “I’m not sure how to describe it really, but I’m going to do the best I can. I feel like I have some sort of darkness inside of me that craves what only Jace can give me. He knows what my body is wanting, and he gives me exactly the right amount of what I need,” my dad goes to say something, but I stop him by continuing, “He takes care of me, Dad. There are times when I want more than what I should have, and he knows it, and stops. It’s like he knows me better than I know myself, and he definitely knows more about the things I’m feeling. I’ve learned that I’m a masochist, I love pain. Jace gives it to me in a healthier way than if I were to try and do it myself. I don’t know why I’m like this, but I am. So, if anything, you should be thanking Jace for helping me get through the things I’m going through.”
“I don’t know about all of what you just said, but I have been researching the topic. I am beginning to understand the dynamics, but that doesn’t make it easier for me to accept that it’smylittle girl that he’s doing it to.” He tightens his arms around me and lays his cheek against my head, “What about the whole bullying thing? How can you forgive him for that? Make me understand that one.”
It’s my turn to sigh now, “That one is a tough one, and I think that it’s my feelings for him and all of his help that is contributing towards my forgiveness. I’m not saying that you have to; I would like you to, but you don’t have to. Just please don’t be such a jerk when he’s around. Honestly, I feel as though the bullying is an extension of him being dominant. Okay, it was a little more possessive maybe,” I chuckle, “but it was to keep other guys away from me. It’s kind of sweet in a way.”
“There is nothing sweet about being possessive and bullying someone.” My dad states.
I shrug, “You say potato, and I say potato; everyone has a different outlook on things.” I sit up in his lap and turn to face him, “All I want is for you to be happy because I’m happy.”
“And are you, happy?” He asks.
I nod aggressively, “I am really happy, Daddy. Jace is really good to me.”
His shoulders sag in defeat, “Okay, baby. I will try to be better, and to treat him a little better,” he lifts a finger up between us, “but the moment that he steps out of line and hurts you, I will tear him a new ass hole.”
I throw my arms around him, “Thank you, Daddy.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he pats my back, “We should probably get out there before we miss dessert.”
I jump off his lap and wait for him to stand up, “Do you know what I really miss?”
“What is that sweetie?” He holds the door open for me.
“Piggyback rides from my dad.” I grin.
To my surprise, my father lowers himself in front of me, “Well, hop right on!”
I gasp, “No! I don’t want to hurt your back, I’m too big!”
“Ella, I’m not old and I still go to the gym. I can handle carrying you on my back. Ask you mother about the things that I can do…”
