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“Okay, thank you,” he scrubs his face with his hands, “You know I fucking love you, right?’
“Of course, I do, and I love you, Jace…”
“Do you really love me, Ella, or is it because I made you submit to me? Do you feel like you have to be my submissive and tell me you love me because you think I’m still bullying you?”
He’s scared about something; I can see it all over his face. I don’t understand why he’s doubting what I do and say. Maybe in the beginning I felt as though he was bullying me into submitting, and actually, he was. Once I embraced the darkness and my needs, though, it was Jace that was there to help me and show me how to enjoy everything. Jace has been the one that has been there for me, even after all those times I tried pushing him away. He knows what I need, and he gives it to me, loving me along the way. So, no, I don’t love him because he is bullying me, but I did fall in love with him because he had bullied me.
“No, Jace. Maybe in the beginning you were bullying me into it, but I’m on board in this relationship one hundred percent. I love you, not because I think you’re bullying me now, but because you bullied me. How do I know if my feelings would have changed for you had you not bullied me? I don’t think I would have known my true self had you not become my bully.”
Jace is quiet as he gazes at me through the screen. His green eyes sparkle with emotion as I gaze back. Something passes between us during this time and I’m not quite sure what it is, but I’m now craving his arms around me from behind, one hand on my throat while the other does delicious things down below.
“Thank you, Precious. I really needed to hear that. I was prepared to let you go and give you time to figure your feelings out.” He tilts his head and studies me, “Are you sure you don’t need to take that time to be sure?”
“Jace, if you break up with me right now, I think I may die. I need you, Sir, and I do love you. I don’t need time to figure it out. All I need is you.”
“Fuck, baby. I’m sorry, but I had to be sure.”
“What brought all this on?”
“Well, I went to see this Dominant who happens to also be a Sadist who has a sub that is a true Masochist. I wanted to learn more about how to handle your urges better. I don’t want to deny you of what you want and need, but I’m not sure just how much to give. Anyway, we got to talking about the why’s and how’s, and well it was brought up that your bullying may have been the cause for your Masochism.”
“So, you’re blaming yourself?” I ask.
He nods.
“I don’t care what the cause is, Jace. I love what we have and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love when you master me, when you master my body,” My voice dips really low, “I wish you were here now, because I want to feel your hands on me, and not in just a touchy-feely kind of way.” I smile seductively at him.
“Damn, you’re making this really hard for me, Precious.”
“I’m sure I’m making more than that hard for you, as I pretend to look over the edge of the phone at his groin area.
“Fuck, I’ve been hard since you answered the phone in that damn towel.”
“Well, I should probably take care of that for you, Sir.” I prop my phone up and take a step back, dropping my towel in the process, “How can I serve you, Sir?”
I yawn as the light through my bedroom window disturbs my sleep. I was up late, doing unspeakable things to myself, so I could please Jace. You would be surprised at how many things you could find in your home that will work when pleasuring yourself. The immense relief I feel after every intense sexual encounter leaves me so relaxed, but also wanting so much more. I believe that by the time Jace moves in, I’m going to be ready to experiment with so much more. I want to see what will get me hot and bothered and what will turn me off. I’ve read about clubs where Kinksters go, and they watch others doing scenes in front of a crowd. Just the thought of watching another couple do sexual things to one another, turns me on just a little and I’m beginning to learn that I have a little voyeurism in me.
I know it will take time and lots of conversations with Jace, about how to proceed to the next level. Jace isn’t your typical Dom, he loves me, and so he has his own boundaries on what we do and where we do it. Not that I can say that it’s something that I want to do, but the thought of someone watching us at a club, interests me a little, but I know Jace doesn’t like anybody else seeing me naked, which makes me love him even more. I just know that at some point, we will take the next step and I want to be ready for it. My plan for over the next few weeks is to research everything that I can about this lifestyle. I want to know what more interests me, so I can pass it on to Jace to put on his list of things to do to me. I think about this last part with a salacious grin. I allow Jace to do pretty much whatever he wants, because he knows that I trust him enough, I just wish that he wouldn’t hold back as much as he does.
Climbing out of bed, I flinch a bit from the soreness that caresses my body from the things that I did to myself last night, under the instruction of my Dom. Who knew that I would enjoy doing double penetration on myself while having my nipples clamped with binder clips. Of course, he had me use the biggest of my toys in my back hole. It took a little bit of time and a lot of lube, but I finally was able to take it all the way in, before he had me using my next biggest inside of my pussy. I’m the one that grabbed the wooden spoon this time because I enjoyed my last session with it.
I was able to help get Jace off, three different times while playing with myself for him. I will never get tired of putting on a show for him; he makes me feel so confident in myself while I’m doing things to my body that I once would have blushed from. Now I’m always thinking of different ways to make him enjoy it from his end. He will be here in a little over two weeks and I need to think of something special for when he is here.
My thoughts have put me in a happy mood and I’m beginning to feel energized. I’m going to need it for when I go into work a little later, but first, I want to get a hold of the building manager and talk about switching apartments. I have to give my dad credit, he was right about Jace and I living together, I do not want to be sleeping in separate rooms, but I do have a plan for that spare room.
Quickly going through my morning routine, I find myself some clothes and head to my little kitchen to make myself some toast. Even living on my own, I still eat toast and a banana in order to start my day. I scroll online for a few items and realize that a lot of what I’m looking for it quite spendy. I’d use the credit card that my parents gave me, but I have a feeling that my dad would probably have a heart attack if he saw the items that I would be ordering. I’ll just put those items on my wish list but add Jace’s name to it as well, so he knows where my interests lie. I do order a few things that I can afford on my own and I think that Jace will be incredibly happy with my choices. Most of the items are things that I can use for our little video chats and once he’s here, with me. Although, I think he will only use it on me for punishments.
Speaking of punishments, it’s been too long since I’ve had a good one. I will have to figure out something good for when he comes to visit, figure out a way to be very naughty, so he can punish me to the full extent. It’s what I’m thinking about as I leave my apartment to head down and talk to the manager.
I run into my upstairs neighbor and friend, Gabe, “Hey you, how have you been?”
“Ah, there she is! Reece told me that you were back, and I’ve been wondering when I’d get to see your gorgeous face.” He pulls me in for a hug, but it lasts a bit longer than it should.
I’m finally able to pull away from him, “Yeah, sorry. I had jet lag and then I got called in to work all day yesterday.”
“Well, where are you going now? Do you want to go grab a coffee or something?” He asks hopeful.
I know Gabe has had a small thing for me and I feel bad for what I’m about to do, but he will need to be warned before Jace comes anyway, so I might as well break it to him now, “Actually, I’m on my way to talk to the building manager. I’m wanting to switch to a two bedroom, because my best friend and boyfriend will be moving in with me in just a little over a month.”
