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“I love you…”
I bite my lower lip and then smile back, “I love you, too, Ella.”
Chapters 60
Thief in the Night
“Pony Express!” I shout out, winning charades for me and Reece. Game night has resumed for me, giving me a much-needed fun night. We didn’t have it last Friday because both Reece and Gabe were down with the flu, but tonight we were able to finally pick it up again.
I had forgotten how much fun it was before my life did a three-sixty. I now feel like two totally different people, though, and I’m not sure if I like it. As much fun as I’m having with my friends, I don’t feel whole, and it almost seems as though I’m lying to both me and my friends. Reece, and now Gabe, know of the type of relationship that me and Jace have, but they don’t know to what extent it goes to. Not that it’s their business, but with Jace not here with me, I could really use someone to talk to about it. I just don’t trust anybody enough to tell my secrets yet.
“Ella, do you need another drink?” Reece asks as she gets up to get a refill of her own.
“Yeah, sure. Thank you.” I watch as Gabe starts putting the charades game away while Collin pulls out the Cards Against Humanity game, “I love this game.” I clap excitedly.
“That’s only because you win at this game.” Gabe chuckles.
I shrug, “Don’t I win at every game?”
“Pretty much,” Deke says dryly, “I don’t think she’s allowed to win more than one game a night.” He jokes.
“I second that!” Collin raises his hand.
“Hey, no fair! I can’t help if I’m good at games.” I pout but I’m really doing a happy dance on the inside. I like knowing that I’m good at something in a social setting.
“I hear you’re good at other things as well,” Deke smirks.
I smile at him, a bit confused, “Oh yeah, what is that?”
Keeping my attention on Collin’s dealing as well, it isn’t until Deke speaks again that I forget all about the other male and focus on the one that is talking about something he should know nothing about. I freeze as he goes on about how I like to be controlled during sex and that he would be more than happy to tell me what to do.
My eyes go straight to Gabe, but he can’t look at me. He pretends to be interested in the cards that Collin dealt him. There is a little bit of a tick to his jaw, indicating that he isn’t happy with his friend for mentioning it. I wasn’t meant to know that he had told his other friends. He had no right, and he knows this.
“So, tell me, Ella. What would it take for you to let us tie you up and give you what you need?” Deke wiggles his brows.
“DEKE, ENOUGH!” Gabe yells at his friend.
I get up, gather my things and head for the door. I can’t stay here anymore. It’s not that I’m embarrassed or anything, but I feel outnumbered by people who don’t understand my relationship with Jace.
“What?” I hear Deke reply to Gabe, “I’m just messing with her!”
“Ella, please,” Reece begs, “Don’t go. Deke can be a jerk, but he’s harmless.”
I try to give her a smile, but I fail, “Sorry, I gotta go.” I flee their apartment and go back to mine, locking the door behind me. Tossing my stuff on the nearby counter, I go straight to my room and throw myself face down on my bed.
I want Jace here with me. There are still two more weeks that I have to get through before I can see him again, and they are going to be the longest two weeks ever! I’m in need of a release so bad, and I’m not talking about a simple vibrator release. I need to feel pain, that’s the release I need, but not just any. No, only one person can give me what I need. So, feeling a little defeated, I head toward my bathroom to take a long hot shower.
A knock on the front door draws my attention and I redirect where I’m going. Looking through the eyehole, I hesitate before unlocking and opening the door. Gabe stands on the other side, looking a little sheepish. I cross my arms in front of my chest and wait for him to say something first.
“Look Ella, I’m sorry for saying anything to the guys about your relationship with him.” He can’t even say his name, “I was frustrated because I have been waiting patiently ever since I met you, for you to be ready to date. Suddenly you come back, and you have a boyfriend who likes to hurt you...”
I hold my hand up stopping him right there, “First of all, Gabe, I have been crushing on Jace since I was sixteen. We have known each other our entire lives and were best friends until we had a fallen out. I never would have been ready to date anyone until I was completely over him.” I run my fingers through my hair, “Look, you have been a good friend to me and I don’t want to lose that, but if it comes down to it, I will choose Jace each and every time because even though I want to have you in my life, I NEED Jace in my life, and I don’t expect anybody to understand it, but I do expect you to respect it.” I stare at him for a moment, “As for him hurting me…he doesn’t do anything that I don’t beg him to do. What Jace does to me is because I ask him to do it, not because he likes hurting me. Actually, he doesn’t like hurting me, but he loves me and knows that it’s what I want.”
“Ella, I’m sorry. You’re right, I don’t understand any of this, but I do know that I still want your friendship. You’re cool as shit, and I’d be an idiot if I let my lack of knowledge fuck up a good friendship.”
I study him, hoping that he’s being honest with me, and when I finally believe he is, I smirk, “I am pretty cool, aren’t I?”
Grinning from ear to ear, he nods, “Yes, you are.”
