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“Jace…no…”
He stops everything and pulls away, “Make your mind up right now, Ella. You either tell me to stop because you’re too confused, or you finally let go and give in to your needs. You can’t have it both ways, Ella.”
I hear what he’s saying, and I know he’s right, but I’m so confused, “Jace I…”
“What is it, Ella?”
“I…” The words won’t come, I literally can’t force them out of my mouth.
He hesitates and then stands up, taking my hand to help me off the bed, “Go into that bathroom and clean yourself up, I’ll take you home once I’m done cleaning up here.”
“Jace…”
“GO!”
He won’t even look at me as he tells me to go, so I snatch my clothes up off the floor and hurry to the bathroom. Once I’ve shut and locked the door, I slide down until my butt hits the floor and I let the flood gates open. I don’t blame him for being upset, he was right, I was a tease tonight. I can’t explain what is going on between my body and my brain, but something is seriously messed up.
After a few minutes, I quickly run the water to clean my face and freshen myself between the legs. When I’m fully dressed and somewhat composed, I open the door to find an empty room. I walk through the house and find Jace by the front door, waiting on me. Without saying a word, he holds the door open and then closes it behind us after ensuring that it is locked. He still opens the car door for me, but that’s the extent of him communicating with me.
He doesn’t get out to open my door this time when we pull up in front of my house. I unbuckle my seatbelt and open the door, “I’m sorry, Jace.” It’s the last thing I say before climbing out and closing the door. He speeds away as though he couldn’t get away fast enough and drives right past his house.
I think I just messed up.
It’s been a whole week, and I still haven’t heard a peep from the boy next door. With nothing else holding me back, I book my flight to Connecticut once more, and fly out the next day. We sent my boxes on ahead soon after booking my flight, so they should be at my new place tomorrow. My parents cry as they see me off, and even Elise had tears in her eyes as she gave me a tight hug.
“I’m going to miss you, El!” She sniffs.
“I’ll be back for the court hearing and for a brief visit between summer and fall classes. It’s not like I’m leaving forever.” I smile sadly, “And I’ll miss you too. Please watch yourself, Elise. Don’t trust anybody.” I can’t help what Jace may do once he learns that I’m gone. Will he tear up that contract, or will he keep his word and let other guys use my baby sister? “Do me a favor, and stay away from Jace, please.”
“I thought you guys were good again?” She asks confused.
“It’s a long story, and maybe I will tell you some day, but please just listen to your big sister, okay?”
“Fine, okay. You’re such a weirdo, never being able to make up your mind!” She jokes, but if she only knew just how true her words really are.”
I give her one last hug, “I love you, Elise. Please give Eli another big hug for me, will you?” Eli had testing today so he couldn’t miss school, so we said our goodbyes this morning before he left.
I’m really going to miss my family. I have never been away from home without them, and I’m really nervous to do so now, but this needs to happen. With one final wave, I hand my ticket to the lady at the counter, and she points me in the direction of the terminal. I’ve watched too many romantic movies where one of them are about to get on a plain, and the other one comes running in to stop them. Deep down, I wish that was me right now, hoping that Jace will come rushing in, calling my name, and professing his undying love for me. I turn around and look around, but all I see are strangers rushing to get to their terminals before they miss their flight.
I have a window seat on the plane, and luckily the middle seat is left unoccupied while an older gentleman sits in the aisle seat. My flight is about five and a half hours, non-stop, so I made sure that I had plenty of reading material and my air pods to help pass the time. It’s going to be tough not thinking about him while stuck on this plane, but I have to try hard to forget about him. It’s time to let the past go and move on to the future. Letting go of someone that has been a huge part of your life whether it was good or bad, is always hard, but the best thing that I can do for myself is to forget. The first thing I’m going to do as an independent adult is to let go.
My apartment is cute and cozy, which seems to match with the town itself. I’ve never pictured myself living in a small town so far from home, but here I am in New Haven, Connecticut. The people are friendly and oh so nosey! Now I know where the saying ‘Can’t even take a shit, without the whole town knowing’, comes from, but still, I truly believe that I’m going to love it here.
Renting a furnished apartment was a great idea, because all I had to worry about was unpacking my boxes when they arrived the day after I got here. To keep myself occupied until my stuff arrived, I went around searching for employment. I got lucky when I came across a coffee shop and bakery all in the same building, and both looking for part-time help. I discussed my situation and both owners were willing to work with me, so I took both positions.
When I had returned home that same day, I ran into a woman that was about my age, and coming out of the same apartment building. She was in a hurry, and I just wasn’t watching where I was going, and before we knew it, we were slamming into one another. We both laughed and apologized to each other. I had learned that her name was Reece and that she lived on the third floor whereas I lived on the second floor. She also lived with a roommate, which is a guy named, Gabe. We had made plans to meet for coffee the next day, and then she was on her way.That was almost a week ago.
Throwing in a microwavable dinner in to heat, I grab my phone and call my mom, “Hey, Mom, how’s it going?” I ask when she picks up.
“Oh, sweetie, so good to hear your voice!? We are all fine here.”
“Mom, I just talked to you last night…” I chuckle.
“So! It’s always good to hear your voice.”
I chuckle at her weirdness,“Anything new going on?” I’ really missing my family, and even though I have made a new friend, I’m still a bit home sick.
“If there is, then I haven’t heard about it,” she laughs, “I’m too busy for gossip these days.”
