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Now I’m learning to love myself, and I’m not going to allow him to hurt me again.
The next morning, I throw on a tank top, black yoga pants, and my running shoes. I can’t stop thinking about Atlas and the way he showed up to my cottage, thinking I would give him a chance after the way he treated me. He stepped on my heart and now he thinks because I love him, I’m going to hear him out? He’s the one who broke up with me, so why does he think he deserves another chance? The day he broke up with me plays on my mind like a song on repeat.
I close the front door, stroll down the porch, and stretch my arms over my head before I take off running in the direction of the beach. Atlas jogs next to me, and he has no shirt on again, his abs on display, his gym shorts hugging his hips. My mouth goes dry at the sight of him.
I stop in my tracks and peer up at him. “What are you doing?”
“I’m running with you,” he states.
I crinkle my nose and fold my arms across my chest. “Why?”
“I’m going to stay here and be by your side until you give me a chance to explain myself.”
“You’re going to be wasting your time.”
The entire time we run along the shore of the beach, my heart beats loudly in my chest and adrenaline courses through my veins. I want to let out a sob, but I hold it in. I don’t want to show Atlas that I’m still heartbroken over our relationship, but being near him makes me question everything about our relationship. Was it real? Why did I have to fall in love with him? The old me would have willingly jumped into his arms, because I would’ve been so desperate for love—for someone to love me. Now, I don’t need someone to love me, I can love myself, and I can be my own best friend.
Once we reach my front porch, Atlas stands in front of me with his hands shoved in his shorts pockets.
“Give me five minutes of your time.” Hope clouds his pupils, and his face is red and glistening with sweat.
“No,” I say before I slam the door in his face.
Later that day, I lie in bed, looking up local photographers on my laptop because I’m doing what I always wanted to do for myself. I’m finally going after my dreams and designing my own fashion line. First, I want to start with swimwear and lingerie, then work my way up to bridal dresses and formal gowns. I can start new social media accounts, and maybe open up an online store, then talk to a few investors when I get back at home.
I try not to look over at Atlas’s cottage, but I can’t help it. I have a direct view of his bedroom window, and I can see he’s on the phone with someone, his back to me. Immediately, tears flow from my eyes, and pain radiates in my chest as my heart sinks. I’m so miserable without him; I haven’t been this sad since my mother’s funeral. I feel as if I lost a piece of myself. As I grab my phone from the nightstand, I tap on the envelope icon, clicking on Poppy’s name.
I send her a crying emoji.
Poppy: You want to talk about it?
Me: No.
Poppy: I’m here if you need me.
Me: I know, thanks.
Poppy: Things will get better.
Me: I hope so.
I toss my phone on the blanket, and sob into my pillow.
Atlas
As I sit in the virtual meeting, staring at the screen as one of the board members speaks about the numbers of Naked, I can barely keep my eyes open. Why I am even here? I thought by getting on the board, I would be happy, but this isn’t my dream anymore. I spent most of my career proving to the fashion industry that I’m just as good at my job as my father, and all for what? I spent most of my career trying to prove to my dad that I could be the legacy he wants. This isn’t what I want anymore. I work too much, and too long. I want Lake. I want to be with her, make her my wife, and start a family. I’ve been chasing the wrong dream for so long. She is everything I ever hoped for and more. I didn’t understand the pain I caused her at first, but now I get it.
She wants to feel safe, and I haven’t made her feel that. I have broken her trust, and now she won’t look at me anymore, but I know what I have to do to get her back, to prove she can trust me. I thought moving here and being by her side would be enough, but it’s not. She wants more from me, and she’s right. I’m too arrogant for my own good. I’ve wasted the board members’ time, as well as my own, trying to prove myself to people. I need to live the life I want to live and give up the life I thought I wanted.
Lake is my home, and that’s where I need to be.
“I quit,” I tell the board members.
They look at me through the screen, confused.
“What did you say?” Ken asks.
“I quit. This isn’t what I want. Tell my father he can have my spot on the board, and I’m turning in my resignation as CEO of Naked.”
