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“Beer, then.Geesh.”While happy to see her friends, Ellie wasn’t ready for any sort of girl talk.Hell, she hadn’t even sorted out her own thoughts.How could she talk about her feelings if she didn’t know what they were?All she felt was hollow.Like something was missing from her life.
Logan was missing.
“Besides, we brought dessert.”Sierra pulled out a wrapped cake from another bag, bringing Ellie back into the here and now.
“Is that—” For the first time in a while, Ellie’s stomach growled.
“Yes, it is.Carmel pecan fudge cake, compliments of Lara.”Sierra set it on the counter.“But real food first.”
“I don’t know if I’d call pizza real food,” Ellie commented, but she was happy to have friends who wanted to help her.
They piled their plates, and each took a bottle of beer and went into the living room.
“What happened with you and Logan?”Sierra asked once they’d eaten and were on their second beer.
“Sierra.”Tessa waved her hands in the air.“Have some tact, woman.”
“I have none.I’ve been around Max too long.”
Ellie grimaced.“We broke up.”
“Why?”Sierra asked.
“Never give this woman beer,” Tessa said.“She has no filter.”
“It’s okay.”Ellie sat back in her chair and took a deep breath.“A few weeks ago, Logan and I met at the club, and when he came in that night, I knew something was wrong.”
“That was the night you two sat over in the quiet corner, then left early?”Tessa commented.
Ellie nodded.“You’ve probably heard about the officer killed.”They both nodded.Ellie took a deep breath and told them what happened.
“You’re worried Logan will be killed on the job,” Sierra said.
“Yes.It would be worse than when my brother died.”Her heart squeezed.It would be a thousand times worse.She loved Logan.No matter how hard she tried to bury it, to deny it, that love was still there in her heart.
“Ellie,” Sierra started and then hiccupped.
“Good thing I drove,” Tessa said.
“I’m not drunk,” Sierra protested.“Ellie, you have to understand that the chance of Logan dying on duty might be greater than any of us dying in an accident, but I bet it’s not that much bigger.”
“But he puts himself in danger every day.”Ellie understood Logan’s job was dangerous and accidents happened.
“Does he?”Tessa asked.
Ellie opened her mouth, then shut it.
“That got you thinking, didn’t it?”Tessa looked proud of herself.
“You know, you were upset after the incident when he was knocked over,” Sierra said.“But you handled it well.”
“On the outside maybe, but on the inside, I was dying.”
“That makes you human.”Sierra waved her hands.“It’s okay to be scared, but don’t let it control your life.”
Ellie shook her head.“I’ve felt for a long time that commitment wasn’t for me.My parents divorced and have remarried other people too many times to count.”
“That analogy is bullshit,” Tessa said.
