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23
JAY
I feelBrigett’s arms wrap around me, and I am just about to tell her that we’re over but after being with Sasha, I can’t be one of the guys that are in her head. I need to let Brigett down easy, not be an asshole. She is a nice person and has admittedly made a lot of cross-country trips pleasurable. It is not her fault that we don’t have the chemistry, the heat that I feel when I’m with my angel.
I am trying to find the words to tell her that our in-the-air adventures are through when she starts talking.
“Sometimes I despise your job. You know I hate it when you make me wait, especially for shit like that,” Brigett says, wrapping her arms around my neck and squeezing me tight from behind.
I am not about to hurt her, knowing the damage it’s caused Sasha, and am about to sit her down and have a talk with her, but I see a shadow slipping toward the door, it opens and closes, and I would know that fucking body anywhere. Fuck! One woman at a goddamn time! I pull Brigett off my shoulders, bring her to the couch, and sit her on it facing me. I see a longing in her eyes that I’ve never seen before. If I had, I would have called off our little cross-country escapade long ago.
I run my hands through my hair. “I want you to know how much our fun has meant to me the last few months, but you need to find someone that feels an insane amount of chemistry with you, and that will move anything on earth to ensure you are happy and safe. You will find someone that feels the same about you as you feel about them,” I say, knowing she will because we’ve been far from exclusive.
“I thought that was you,” Brigett says, and tears start gathering and pouring down her face. While I don’t want to be one of them, one of the same types of men who have hurt my angel, I’ve also heard about her escapades on other flights.
I take the next ten minutes making sure that she does not feel like a heel or used, but that’s all I can spend because my heart is hammering with the thought of my angel and what she’s thinking and feeling right now.
I walk through the main cabin, and my crew raises their eyes at me, wondering what the fuck is going on as I walk past them and into the bedroom to find Sasha.
She is under the covers, her body hidden to me, and I realize how much I hate that. Her breathing is erratic, and her hair is lying by her side in a neat and tidy ponytail. If she were asleep, my beautiful angel would be spread out for me, her breathing would be in sync with my own, and her hair would be down and tangled.
“Angel, I know you’re not asleep, and I need to explain what you saw,” I say.
She shifts and lifts her body, pulling the blanket with her, still covering herself from me as she gets into a sitting position.
Her blue eyes are smoky with emotion, but she hasn’t been crying, and I should find solace in the fact that she doesn’t seem as hurt as I thought she would be, but I don’t, because right now Sasha is looking at me like she just doesn’t give a fuck one way or another.
“So explain,” Sasha says, watching me with a concentration that sets my limbs on fire. I have never felt such an intensity of feelings and swallow hard. No explanation is going to make this better. She has been hurt time and time again by people just like me, meaning no harm but casting her aside when they decide to move on. I feel a deep sense of remorse for allowing it to go on so long with Brigett, and for what Sasha walked in on.
“Angel, Brigett is one of the flight attendants hired by Prestian Corp. She’s been traveling on many of my team’s overseas flights. She and I have hooked up more than a few times over the last few months, and I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that we haven’t enjoyed each other’s company, but that was the extent of our relationship. You’re always going to get honesty from me.”
The depth of her blue eyes is unnerving as she watches me, but still, she says nothing. No tears, no trembling of the lips, absolutely nothing.
“What I am going to tell you, Angel, is that we’ve never shared chemistry or a relationship that went beyond a couple hours of sex on a long trip across the country,” I say, and her eyes are still riveted on me, just watching me as I speak, devoid of emotion, and just nothing.
She may have already made her mind up, but she’s going to hear me out. “I intended to tell her that we were done the next time I was alone with her, but I didn’t expect it just at that moment. The guys usually would have texted me to warn me that someone was on their way in, but they must have been busy with something on the monitors when she slipped by. I know you saw her with her arms around me. I was just trying to figure out how to tell her that we were done without hurting her. All I could think about was the way men have made you feel over the past years, how that’s impacted you, and I couldn’t make her feel cast aside and discarded. I didn’t want to be one of those men, and instead, you walked in, and I ended up hurting you. I’m sorry, Angel,” I say, looking at her.
“You think you hurt me?” she asks, and I swallow the lump in my throat and can feel my jaw clenching. She’s not even fucking angry, just cold and indifferent and that’s worse than any of the heated tirades I imagined.
“I can only hope that I didn’t and that you know what we have is special. This chemistry, this feeling for you, it’s never happened to me before, and as soon as I had a chance, I was going to tell her. I was just trying not to be a prick about it,” I say.
She watches me for one of the most extended moments of my life. “She reminds me of myself in some ways. Manipulative, striking out when she knew there was someone else instead of just asking what was happening, understanding that what we shared was good, but wasn’t a what you say, forever thing? Jay, she knew you were with me in this bedroom, we weren’t exactly quiet. She knew exactly what we were doing, which is why she searched you out when she knew you were alone. You remember her comment, about hating to wait especially for shit like that?” Sasha says, and I cringe not realizing she heard that.
I nod. “I remember what Brigett said, Angel, I just didn’t put two and two together.”
“She’s apparently used to being tossed aside by lovers who have side flings, and you’re right, as soon as I heard that, it really made me realize just how bad my coping skills have been, but I am turning a new leaf over,” Sasha says with a broad grin.
“You are? What’s that?” I ask.
“The time I have spent with men in the past has been really good, excellent at times really. I don’t begrudge that you and your flight attendant hooked up and enjoyed each other. I just feel ashamed and embarrassed as I look back on things. When it was time to part, it wasn’t easy for me. I didn’t make it very easy on them either, and when I really think back, they didn’t tell me anything but the truth,” Sasha says.
I swallow down the jealousy that rages up when I think about her with someone else, especially Brian, but appreciate the honesty reflected in those deeply expressive blue eyes of hers.
“I’m glad you took the time to talk to her, tell her you were exploring other relationships, you know, looking for that chemistry and let her down easy,” Sasha says, pulling her knees up against her chest while she penetrates me with her baby blues.
I walk over to her, sit on the bed beside her and clasp her nape with my hand, pulling her closer. Her scent is fucking intoxicating, and my dick tightens with the need to be inside of her. “Get this straight Angel, I’ve found the fucking chemistry, and the search is over,” I say, pressing my lips against her, and it takes a moment for her to thaw, but then she softens, her heart-shaped lips molding against my own as I slide my tongue over her lips, parting them to explore her velvety depths.
She moans against my lips, and I kiss her with a passion that takes our breath away. “I’m so proud of you Angel. I love that you’re not jealous of something that was in the past.”
