Page 11 of Free Me


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Good gods! What is wrong with me? I’mneverlike this with clients. In fairness, I’ve also never had scorching hot sex with a client before. I’ve never hadanysex with a client before. Geez Louise, I need to focus. I clear my throat and continue. “Make sure you’re bending from your hips so you don’t strain your lower back.” I want to run my palm under the edge of his shirt and feel his warm skin. Instead, I remove my hand and step away. Jiminy Christmas, having Blake as a client is going to be challenging. Assuming he opts to continue the eight-week course. I haven’t decided which outcome I hope for.

“Now, sweep your arms out and up while you slowly return to a standing position, inhaling deeply as you do.” Blake follows my instructions perfectly, his body moving gracefully. It might be my overeager imagination, but when our eyes meet, it feels like there’s a spark between us. “Keeping your hips centered, bend to the right, your left arm staying over your head and arching with you, your right dropping to your side.”

The need to slide my hand along his torso and over his arm,helpinghis alignment, is unbelievably strong. By sheer force of will, I refrain, and am exceedingly proud of myself. It’s the small victories that matter. “That’s perfect, Blake. Now, we’re going to hold this for thirty seconds, then repeat on the other side.”

For the next twenty minutes, I torture myself by taking him through several more stretches, focusing on his core and legs, working diligently to keep my touch impersonal, even though it’s oh-so incredibly tempting to slide my hands all over him. But that would be wrong on so many levels. Especially if he isn’t aware of who I am.

With great relief, I bring the last stretch to a close and exhale. “Alright, why don’t we move on to some meditation?” I fold myself into a cross-legged position in front of him and motion for him to join me. He pauses and then shrugs, dropping down onto the carpet in a sexy semi-sprawl that makes my mouth go dry. I clear my throat. “So, in your email you said you’ve been experiencing high levels of stress and have had some stress-related health issues. Can you be more specific?” I can guess, but it’s better if I hear it directly from him. Usually, if the client is honest about their symptoms, I can tell if they’re open to a more holistic program, and adopting meditation as a regular practice. If they hedge, or refuse to acknowledge their health issues, they probably won’t stick with a lot of the paths I could take. In those instances, I focus on stretching and breathing and leave out the rest.

“I work a lot. If you ask my family, they say I’m a workaholic, but I happen to love my job. It’s a bit stressful at the moment. Unusually so. I’m trying to start up a new division of my company, and I have a client who is… challenging. Working with him would be advantageous to my organization, but he’s not an easy fit with the company culture.” Blake scowls and shifts uncomfortably. “It’s causing friction.”

“When someone doesn’t fit the company culture, that can be really stressful on mind and body. The good news is I can help you with that.” His eyebrows shoot up and I laugh, because that could be taken inappropriately. “I’m sorry. That’s definitely not how I meant it.”

He grins and winks at me. “Too bad.” Heat rushes to my face and I feel dizzy. Blake winces. “Now it’s my turn to apologize. That was an inappropriate joke, and I don’t want to make things awkward.”

Too late. I shrug, pretending it’s no big deal. “Oh, it’s fine. That’s not the first innuendo I’ve heard from a client.” I redirect the conversation into safer territory. “But thanks for telling me about your work situation. Is there anything else I should know?”

Blake cringes and rubs his chest. Okay, so yes, there’s more. He takes a long breath and lets it out in a rush. “I went to the ER with chest pains. It wasn’t a heart attack, but I have a family history of heart disease. It killed my mother when she was only a few years older than I am right now. I’d like to be around longer than that, if I can.”

I’d like him to be around a lot longer, too. “I’m so sorry. That must have been hard for you.” His paperwork says he’s in his early forties, but darn, he doesn’t look it. “I can tell you honestly, if you’re willing to make the changes, I know we can reduce your stress. But you need to be ready to work at it.”

He nods. “The doctors said the same thing, and I’m not eager to experience that level of pain or fear again, so I’ll put in the work.”

It’s exactly what I was hoping to hear. “Right. So, have you meditated before?”

He winces, and that’s far from a glowing endorsement. “I’ve tried, but I wasn’t able to concentrate. I kept thinking about work and what I should be doing. Oh, and one time I fell asleep.”

I try to hide my smile. I don’t want him to think I’m laughing at him. “That’s pretty typical for new practitioners. Learning to quiet the mind takes time. And falling asleep could mean you aren’t getting enough rest. In any case, when I have a client who dozes off, I take it as a compliment. It means our session is working for them. Maybe not quite in the way either of us anticipated, but it’s a step in a positive direction. So I’m not offended. I promise I won’t be upset if you doze off.” Blake’s forehead relaxes, and his lips quirk up in a small smile. It’s freaking adorable and I hope he decides to continue working together. I’d like to get to know this Blake McCarthy.

“That’s good to know.” He settles himself and rests his hands on his knees. “Okay, where do we start?”

I wink at him. “I like eager students. Now, would you be more comfortable lying down or sitting like this?”

He considers for a moment. “Sitting is safer. That way, I won’t be tempted to fall asleep.”

“Fair. I’m going to put on some calming music, then we’ll get started.” I quickly get my phone and mini speaker set up with my meditation playlist. The soft tones of a pan flute and trickling water drift out of the speaker, and I’m transported to my happy place. This music never fails to calm me. Hopefully, it works for Blake as well. “You can keep your eyes open, but most people find it easier to follow the visualization exercises with their eyes closed.” Blake nods, and his eyes remain on me. I want to laugh. Even though I don’t know him that well, it seems in character for him. I’d bet he always needs to be in control.

“Take a deep breath. Imagine air flowing to every part of your lungs, expanding them fully. Hold it… and slowly exhale.” Keeping my tone soft and soothing, I breathe with him, demonstrating what he’s supposed to do. “Turn your attention to the crown of your head. Feel it getting heavy. Focus on your forehead and your facial muscles. Imagine them relaxing, letting the tension go.” At this point, Blake closes his eyes, and I do a mental fist pump. I know that’s a big hurdle we’ve just jumped, and I’m honored.

“Take an imaginary trip through your body. Feel the muscles in your shoulders relax, dropping away from your ears. Feel your chest ease and your breath lighten.” I walk him through each muscle group, pausing for him to imagine the tension stored in his body and consciously release it. “Focus on your breathing. Feel the oxygen flowing through you, energizing you, renewing you. Breathe in through your nose, and exhale through your mouth, washing the tension away with each cleansing breath.” We do a short ten-minute breathing meditation, and I can see he’s struggling with it, but he keeps trying, and I’m so proud of him for sticking with it. When I bring the session to a close, his face is peaceful, and his energy is less frantic, though it’s nowhere near serene. Itisan improvement, and I hope he feels it. “Slowly roll your shoulders and rotate your wrists. Wiggle your toes and open your eyes.”

Blake’s warm brown eyes slowly open and look into mine, reflecting thoughtful surprise. “Is that it?”

“That’s it. You said you only wanted a short meditation session to try it out. If you enjoyed it, we can meet again and possibly work into deeper meditation practices over time.”

Blake’s brow creases again. “Maybe we’ll just stick with this for now and see how it goes.” He pushes to his feet and I follow, gathering my things.

“So, does that mean you want to try the program?” I modulate my tone so I don’t sound too eager for him to say yes. He doesn’t need to think I’m desperate for clients. Or for him. “We can modify it however you like. More meditation, less stretching, vice versa… Whatever works best for your stress reduction.” I shove my mini speaker into my bag. “We can make each week something different if that works best for you.”

When I turn around and meet his gaze, heat flares in his eyes and he steps closer. “Yes, I’d like to continue. I’m still not good at meditation, but I have to admit, it was easier than the last time I tried it.” He stops barely a foot from me. “I’m not sure if I was really trying this time or your words made more sense, but I do feel less… anxious. Maybe by the end of the eight-weeks I’ll be a believer.”

This close, he’s playing havoc with my senses. He smells like sweat and spice, and I’m transported back to the club with his body pressed against mine. I step away and smile, putting some distance between us so I don’t embarrass myself. “Wonderful! Are you able to schedule your next appointment now, or did you want to email me later?”

“My work calendar’s on my phone. If you can hang on, I’ll go grab it.”

He jogs out of the room and I can’t help but stare at the muscles flexing under the fabric of his sweatpants. And dear lord above, it’s even more distracting as he jogs back. My brain stutters offline, and when I can finally make words come out of my mouth, my voice is shaky. “Should we keep to Wednesdays at two, like today? Or would another time be better?”

“I’m not prepared to do this in my office, so mid-afternoons won’t work. But if we move it to four, I can use it as an excuse to leave work early, and you might actually get me to take the evening off.Ifthe meditation and stretching do their jobs.”

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