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“Eh, don’t fucking worry.” Tristan got up and slapped him on the back.
“There will be plenty more horrific things ahead for you to remember, I’m sure. Take your victories where you can.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that along with all the terrible things he’d forgotten, was that one night in Deepwood, in a room over an inn, where he’d finally found the love he’d deserved.
And somehow, I wanted to cry at the unfairness of that.
48
ZORANDER
Tavion carried Adele, Raz and I took turns carrying Anaria.
He slid the band back on one arm, then we found the other thankfully still in her pocket and put that one on her, too.
We headed northeast, or the closest estimate, given we couldn’t see through the thick trees and there were no paths in this newborn forest. Not Fae-made, anyway. Yet paths seemed to magically open up before us through the woods, bracken and vines parting before us. Tristan climbed up to the top of the canopy every so often to make sure we were still heading in the right direction.
I was happiest when I carried Anaria.
It gave me purpose, her warm, soft body molding to me, her arm sometimes reaching up and cupping the back of my neck. The sensation was familiar and comforting and odd.
She smelled delicate, like the flowers around us. In fact, the entire forest smelled like her, every breeze bringing a hint of amber-jasmine to my nose.
But when Raziel held her, I was alone, and dark memories crept in.
A fire, burning me from the inside. A deep, abiding darkness, me trying to claw my way out of the shadows. I’d died. I’d gone to the Great Beyond.
I’d seen death every day of my life.
Lived it, breathed it, survived it.
I never thought I was afraid of death, had always imagined I’d embrace the end when it came to claim me, with a battle cry worthy of a song. Not this sick, useless feeling that crept up my throat and choked me.
Darkness crept in when Raziel stumbled, nearly going down, Anaria clutched in his arms.
We were all exhausted. Drained, dangerously so. And Caladrius was filled with dangerous creatures, some more dangerous than Soul Reapers. The air in here was silent, as if the forest swallowed up all sound.
“We rest here.” I eyed the glen around us, as perfect a place to stay the night as any I’d ever seen. A small stream flowed quietly through, the floor was thick with moss, and the trees were so close together they formed a solid wall around us. “I’ll take first watch, then Raz, then Tristan. Tavion can take the dawn shift.”
“That works for me.” Tristan hauled his rucksack over his head.
How he still had his pack on him, I didn’t know—the rest of our gear was long gone—but when he laid out a meager spread of dried meat, bread, and some apples, I went limp with relief. Adele took an apple, and I set another one aside for Anaria, along with some cheese. Raz, Tristan, and I split the rest, while Tavion ducked off into the forest, presumably to hunt for his own dinner.
Raz gave Anaria over to Adele, let her mop the dirt off her daughter’s face, dribble some water between her lips. She didn’t rouse, not a surprise, given the sheer amount of magic she’d exhausted these past days.
Her color was already coming back, Raz explaining softly how she drew her power from the earth and the ground was the best place for her. Even as we watched, the mossy ground around her glowed faintly, a hint of stardust shimmering in the air around her, one of her hands burrowing deep into the soft moss like it was the softest of blankets.
I watched the glow bugs dancing in the air, the peace of this place settling into me. Raziel murmured something to Tristan, crossed the glen, and settled beside me. “One night at Wynter Palace, then two days in the tunnels. Then Nightcairn. What comes after that…we have to decide.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know these tunnels. That’s how you came into Tempeste?”
He nodded, chewing. “Tavion’s family has used them for centuries to smuggle goods into Tempeste, as it turns out. At least the bastard’s good for something. Made by the Old Gods is my guess. There’s a portal down there—shaved two days travel off the trip between realms.”
I filed the information away for later.
“The Shadow King always suspected goods were being smuggled from Solarys into Caladrius, but we never discovered how.” I paused, turning this over in my head. “Explains where all that money came from, though. The money the king used to pay my soldiers.” I clenched my hands tight. “The soldiers that will never make it home to their families.”
Raz dipped his head. “You can thank the fucking Oracle for that. Anaria did what she could to not spill blood, not give her what she wanted, but…she was forced to in the end.”
