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Ben waved him off and attempted to go around him. “It’s not important, and it doesn’t matter. It will never matter because I don’t have any desire to see either of you ever again.” He started forward but was yanked back when Taylor grabbed his arm. Ben shook him off roughly and turned, squaring his shoulders. “Don’t. Don’t fucking touch me. You don’t get to touch me ever again.”
Taylor lifted his hands in surrender. “Sorry. I wasn’t…it’s an old habit.”
Ben let out a sigh and turned away from him. “Make new habits.” And then he started for the checkout and breathed in relief when Taylor didn’t follow.
* * *
His peace was short-lived. He was feeling a little shaken, so he stopped by the coffee bar counter to grab coffees and pastries for him and Nova to share—and so he could eat his feelings a little. The woman behind the counter was moving slowly, like her night had been rough, and Ben could definitely sympathize.
He grabbed a seat at one of the tall tables to wait, and he couldn’t help a chest-deep groan of disappointment when a familiar figure entered his eyeline.
“Seriously?” he asked. “Is this like some sort of game to you? Are you getting off on this, or…”
“Chris and I are over,” Taylor said.
Ben blinked at him. He’d only seen Chris a few days ago, and Chris had seemed pretty sure that they were solid, which meant this was more emotional manipulation. He almost laughed at the thought that Taylor thought it would work on him. “What’s your point?”
“I thought that would at least make you happy. You got your wish, and you were right.” Taylor’s tone was bitter. “You said he wasn’t going to make me happy.”
Ben snorted a laugh. “I’m not happy about that. I don’t give an actual fuck what happens to either of you.”
Taylor’s eyes widened a fraction. “What happened to you? You weren’t like this before.”
Ben laughed again. “It’s weird, isn’t it? It’s a hard pill to swallow when you realize that human beings weren’t meant to be doormats.”
“I never—”
“Don’t go there,” Ben interrupted. “The entire reason we were together for so long was because you thought you could be with me and do whatever the fuck you wanted and I wouldn’t fight you on it. You mistook my apathy for weakness, and you only have yourself to blame for that.”
“Two white mocha lattes,” the woman called.
Ben hopped up from his seat, then flinched away when Taylor moved like he was going to grab him again. Taylor quickly yanked his hands back and shoved them into his pockets.
“Two?”
“Leave me alone,” Ben told him, now just feeling bone-tired and irritated because the morning had started out so well. Now he had to bring this shit home to Nova, and that wasn’t how he wanted to spend their first day together. “I’m busy.”
“Whoever he is, he won’t love you like I do,” Taylor said after Ben put the drinks and the pastry bag into the front of his cart.
Ben blinked rapidly, then burst into laughter. “That’s goddamn right. Anyone who loves the way you do isn’t allowed within a thousand feet of my personal life.” He started toward the exit, then paused and looked over his shoulder. “I’m a human being, Taylor. I always have been. Because of that, I don’t wish you a lifetime of pain or unhappiness. But that’s all you’re ever going to get from me. So whatever you think you want from me—whatever reason caused you to address me in public—let it go. You fucked someone else, so there’s no bridge between us. And even if you hadn’t,” Ben added and then turned away, “I always deserved better than you.”
twenty
Walking through his front door,Ben dropped everything on the kitchen table, then realized he could hear the shower going. He’d made it home on autopilot, mostly terrified of how seeing Taylor was going to ruin his day with Nova.
But then he thought of Nova all warm and wet, covered in the scent of his soap, and suddenly, all of that was gone. He moved without thinking, kicking off his shoes and peeling off his sweater as he walked into the bedroom.
The bathroom door was cracked open, and the room was humid from the steam. Unsure if he should intrude on this moment, he pressed his hand to the door and peered inside. The shower’s glass doors hadn’t fogged up enough, and he had the perfect view of Nova standing under a stream, gently stroking a soapy hand over his dick.
Ben moaned without realizing he was making a sound, and then he jumped when Nova’s gaze snapped over to him and pinned him to the spot.
“You just going to watch?”
“I—” Ben’s mouth was dry, and he tried to lick his lips. “Would you like that?”
Nova’s lips curled into a smirk. “I think I might. But you should get in here with me.”
Ben was stripping before Nova even finished his sentence, and he ignored the man’s laugh as he walked over the cool tiles and slid the far side of the door open. The room was chilly, but behind the glass was humid and comfortable, and he stepped against the corner and let his back rest against the wall.
