AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I have a penchant to protect and shelter others because I was deprived of that. I don’t want someone else to feel like they don’t mean anything. While my execution may lack, my intentions are good.
I was born independent—from day one, the bitter pill of my existence was to always watch my six and look death straight in the eye.
But I forgive you, Tessa.
I put out the smoke against the carton of the box, discard it inside, and shove it back into my pocket.
“It’s okay.” Lenny places her hand on mine, urging me to look down at her. “You didn’t hurt me.”
I stare at the constellation of freckles covering her nose and cheeks.
She lifts her phone, scrolling and pressing play on a song I’m not familiar with.
“What is this song?”
“Dearly Beloved by Daughtry.”
Retrieving it in the pocket of her jean shorts, she twines her arms around my neck and starts slow dancing with me.
I place my palms on her hips, resting my head on hers—her coconut scent floods my nostrils and washes all over me.
She doesn’t need me. She’s too young, her life is just starting and I’ll probably be gone soon like I always have.
Talking online was fun but that’s exactly what it is—online.
“My brother was my best friend,” she tells me.
The thumps of her heartbeat parallel to mine.
“He was a huge surfing enthusiast. I think he started surfing when he was four. Loved the ocean and everything in it. Competed in a local skateboarding competition back in San Diego, for fun, but he was damn good at it.”
I lock my hands behind her back, tucking her closer to me. I don’t dare interrupting her.
She pauses, taking a long breath. “Life can be ruined in seconds.” The wrath of the ocean surfaces with each wave that crashes. “He was on a trip with his friends. A man who harassed hikers attacked him, my brother stumbled on a few rocks and fell into a canyon. Medics said he died on the spot.” Her head is pressed against my chest and her body is nestled in my arms.
Our silence envelops us for a long minute while the song keeps playing.
“He was always so protective of me.”
Hearing her confession makes my heart ache for her.
“It was a lesson on how uncertain life can be. So I took his van and started traveling.”
It dawns on me.
I think it’s her way of connecting with her brother, keeping his memory alive, and making new ones with him as her guiding spirit.
“I was seventeen when he died and he was my age now. It’s surreal thinking about it. He would’ve been twenty-nine by now. Could’ve had a family or life goals to reach. Instead, he will forever be twenty-three.”
It must be a fragile milestone for her, being at the same age her brother lost his life. It must be heavy on her.
“From my experience thinking about,what if,will only trap you in a cage. Drag you down into the pit of insanity. That void will forever remain but the best thing you can do for them and yourself is to keep going. Live your life. Don’t stop for no one.” I utter the words.
She swallows the clog in her throat. “But isn’t it running?”
“It’s breaking free from the sorrow and the emptiness. It’s not running when you come to terms with the past. Nothing you can change will change you in a way. How? Is your choice. And by the look of it, you already have a long time ago.”
Talking about this with her is better than therapy. I feel like my words are sheltered underneath the glimmer of understanding in her eyes.
