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“You’re right. I just wonder if he knew how much we loved him, if he felt alone, and confused, what went through his head at the last moments of his life. I wish I was there to hold him and make sure he is warm and loved and at peace.”
My pupils sting.
I feel like the knot in my core—the persistent stone I have carried for decades finally ruptures.
“I’m sure he knew and I’m positive he watches over you as we speak.”
There’s nothing I want to do more than kiss her right now. Feel her lips on mine. Give her a solace escapism.
Against my better judgment.
In a blink of an eye, her lips press to mine and instead of pulling back, I deepen the kiss.
Lennon
Mybreathmingleswiththe smoke taste on his tongue and the mint of the gum he chewed earlier.
The kiss is slow. Sensual. With a choreography of its own.
He wraps his arms around me, squeezing my ribs gently and the scratch of his stubble elicits our kiss with every flick of his tongue against mine.
What have I done?
It feels so good though.
So calming, like the space around us doesn’t exist at all and the ocean is a piece of soft music in the background.
An implicit regret washes all over me. Stupid impulse. Even though he is kissing me back.
I shouldn’t have continued those online conversations with him, it only made it more difficult to forget about him. And knowing what I know it’s just hard to face the truth.
It didn’t mean anything.
And now, while I taste his lips for the first time it hurts even more. I always felt like my brother was the one guiding me toward him. Somehow it always seemed that way. The signs were all around me. But I guess, it was my imagination, forcing me to believe in something that wasn’t really there.
I feel so stupid for giving in so fast.
My body is buzzing, responding to every swirl of our tongue and brush of our lips.
He locks his grip on my jaw and presses his thumb to my chin, deepening the kiss more.
I kissed him.
I kissed Dean Walker.
My boss.
For long minutes.
My body screams and begs for one more taste, yet my logic prevents me from making an inappropriate fool out of myself.
In the heat of the moment, one shared kiss on a spontaneous trip doesn’t change anything.
The heat of his chest and the way we fit perfectly against each other heighten the need.
My heartbeat thrums in my eardrums. The nerves pump my blood to my face and I feel the reddish tint forming on my cheeks.
I can track the studying movement of his arctic blue eyes, shining like fluorescent lights, and pinned on me.
