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I pause. Ok, she has a point.
Emilia is breathing heavily, her face is flushed, and her eyes are little crazed. I’ve never seen my perfect sister look so imperfect. “Viktor shot me, remember? Two years ago. He came for Marco, and I got caught in the middle. So, excuse me for not wanting the sister Ilove,” her voice cracks, making me look down, “to care for who man that did that to me. The man who hurts innocent people.”
I can’t meet her gaze as I respond. “I get it. You have a right to hate Viktor. But”—I force myself to look at her, keeping my back straight and my head held high— “did you ever ask me what I want? You want to protect me. I admire that. I love you for that. But, Em, I’m not a little girl anymore. Like it or not, I’m a married woman now. Viktor is my husband.” I show her the ring, and she flinches. “He understands me in a way no one else has before. Helovesme for me, Em. Can you say the same?”
“Of course, I love you.”
“But every part of me? Even the annoying bits? Viktor loves every side of me. You have to accept that.”
Emilia blinks back tears. “Well, excuse me if I can’t.” She leaves my room, not in a huff but calmly, gently shutting my door behind her, effectively ending our conversation.
* * *
A week goes by.
When the rest of my siblings came home that first day, there was a lot of tears and hugs. Even Antonio cried a little, even though he tried to deny it. His face is still bruised from when Viktor hurt him, but Antonio told me he’s been wearing them like badges of honor. It made me laugh. Cecillia told me she didn’t stop praying for me and she knew God would save me. I just humored her and hugged her. Mia was ecstatic, like her normal self. She then proceeded to tell me all about a new movie she has become obsessed with, something to do with vampires in high school. I’m not really sure what. It was pretty boring to me.
The twins have taken up a lot of Mom’s attention since I’ve been back, so we haven’t had a chance to finish our talk about Viktor. Emilia has been around, but there’s a new distance between us. It hurts a lot.
I just try and focus on being happy with my family. It’s hard. I miss Viktor every day. The way he made me laugh and the excitement he brought to my life. I miss the sex, too, of course. But it’s more than that. I just miss him, for all his good and bad parts.
It’s a Friday night, and Antonio, Cecilia, and Mia are all off having a sleepover at their respective friends’ houses, their guards following along. Mom is busy with Lucia and Luca since they’re at that age where they run around everywhere. They’re not quite talking in sentences yet, so it’s hard to understand what they want. Franco is off finding a way to take down Viktor. And Emilia returned to her hotel.
That leaves just Francesca and me. My shyest sister was happy to see me when I came back, but we haven’t really talked over the course of the week. Granted, we rarely talked before Viktor entered my life.
She’s on the couch, reading a book about Leonardo da Vinci. I plop down next to her. Fran gives me a glance before returning to her book.
“How have you been, Fran?”
She shrugs. “Fine, I guess.”
“Now that I’m married, has Mom been making plans for you to marry when you turn eighteen?”
“Since that’s a couple years away yet,” she says, flipping a page, “not really. I think she forgets about me a lot of the time.”
I wince. I have a habit of doing that, too. But it’s time to change that. “Hey, Fran, set the book down for a second, ok?”
She sighs but does as I ask. “Yes?”
“Just… continue being yourself, ok?”
She looks surprised as she picks at the spine of her book. “When am I not?”
“True. But it’s something I’ve had to learn. A lot of people will make you feel like you can’t be who you truly are. That you can’t want the life you really want for yourself. But you can. You just have to go out and get it.” I shrug, feeling suddenly embarrassed. This was a much better idea in my head. “I just wanted you to know that.”
“Thanks, Gemma. You’ve never really offered me advice before. You’re not bad at it.”
I huff, then let out a little laugh. “You’re not too bad to talk to yourself.”
Francesca lifts her book up. “Can I keep reading, or did you want to talk more?”
“Nope.” I stand up quickly. “You do you, Fran.”
“Lucia!” Mom shouts as Lucia waddles into the living room. She giggles as she comes up to me, lifting her arms for me to pick her up.
“Fine.” I lift Lucia into my arms as Mom rushes into the room, looking frazzled and holding Luca. “Oh, good. She didn’t run into something and get hurt.”
“Mom, maybe you should hire a nanny to help you. It’s not like we don’t have the money.” I bounce Lucia, making her giggle harder. Ok, Isortof forgot how cute the twins are.
