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How mom’s expression was so gentle that a rush of warmth filled Tori’s chest.
“Nothing’s wrong, darling. In fact, everything is wonderful. I’m so happy that you’re here.”
“We’re not staying.”
Her mom chuckled. “I didn’t think that you were.”
Tori blew out a sigh. “Sorry. I think I’m a bit nervous.”
How mom reached across and touched her hand. “I can see that and I’m so sorry.”
“No! It’s not your fault! It’s me. It’s…”
Her mom met her gaze and held it. “It’s all my fault, Tori, and I really am sorry. I can’t change the past, but I truly hope that we can set a different course for the future.”
Tori’s eyes filled with tears even though she wasn’t sure why. “Nothing’s your fault, Mom. There’s nothing even wrong. There never has been. There’s no need to change the past.”
“Oh, Tori! I wish that there were a way for me to go back in time; I’d change so many things.” Her mom gave her a sad smile. “But since I can’t do that, there’s no point in dwelling on it. All I can do is tell you that I’m sorry and ask for your forgiveness.” She held her hand up when Tori tried to interrupt. “I’m sorry that I didn’t understand you better, I’m sorry that as a child, you didn’t feel like you fit in. I hope that you can forgive me for not being a better mother to you.”
Tears streamed down Tori’s face as she got up from her chair and went to wrap her arms around her. She didn’t even try to resist when her mom pulled her down onto her lap and held her close.
There was so much that she wanted to say, but it took a long few minutes before she could compose herself enough to speak. Until then, she just clung to her mom. She kept her eyes closed and enjoyed every second of the way she stroked her hair and made soothing noises.
When she finally lifted her head, she lifted the hem of her T-shirt to wipe her face. It was only when her cheeks were dry that she realized what she’d done. She bit down on her bottom lip. “Sorry. I…”
Her mom laughed. “Please, don’t be, sweet girl. You’re just being you, and … who you are? Who you are is absolutely perfect. I know that I’ve never told you this before, but I adore you.”
Tori’s eyes filled with fresh tears. “I love you, too.”
“I hope you’ve always known that I love you.”
Tori nodded.
“I need you to know that I adore you as well. I’m sorry that I haven’t always understood you and what you needed, but I really do hope that things can be different between us now – better.”
“I’d love that, I really would.” Tori swiped the hem of her T-shirt over her face again, then tightened her arm around her mom’s shoulders. “It looks like we’re already doing things differently.”
“We are and I like it.”
“But am I squashing you, should I move?”
She loved the way her mom’s arms tightened around her waist. “You can if you want to, but I’d rather you didn’t.”
Tori relaxed. “In that case, I’m kinda comfy here; I think I’ll stay.”
Her mom chuckled. “Good. So, how are you?” Tori had to laugh when she waggled her eyebrows as she asked, “Want to tell me about you and Xander?”
“I do, but I think I need you to tell me more about you and Russ first. You’re so happy, it’s wonderful to see. And you’re so … different.” She bit down on her bottom lip. “I don’t mean… I didn’t…”
“It’s all right, sweetheart. I’m not going to get offended. I understand what you mean. I am happy. And I am different. And it’s all down to Russ. He’s helped me so much – helped me to see that I was living my life according to a set of rules that didn’t work for me.”
“Grandfather’s rules?”
“Yes. You know how things were. You know that your grandfather shaped me into the person he needed me to be. I didn’t have much choice while he was alive – but he’s been dead for a long time. Until I met Russ, I was still enforcing and living by those same old rules even though I didn’t have to anymore.”
Tori thought about that. “He was a horrible man,” she said eventually.
Her mom chuckled. “You have no idea.”
