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Someone on his staff had reached out to let us know of his passing earlier that afternoon. As the media hadn’t been notified yet, however, they requested that we not divulge the information until an official statement could be released.
The senator had accepted the news with utter indifference. She reacted as though they hadn’t been married for twenty years before their divorce. As if he wasn’t the father of her children. As if she had never loved him.
My sin had been my inability to match her stoicism. Since my visible grief had rendered me a “hindrance” and a “liability,” it had been decided that I shouldn’t attend the celebration with the rest of my family. In fact, the senator had thought it would be best if I didn’t leave my apartment at all. At least, not until we flew to Connecticut together for the funeral.
Real Mom of the Year shit, right there.
I only had nine years of memories with our dad, but Julianna had already started college when he’d left. Yet, she had taken the news the way one might react to their favorite coffee being out of stock. Mild disappointment and nothing else.
Our middle sister, Ariane, had appeared confused. Then again, she always looked confused. Probably because she had no idea how to process or express emotions. Instead, she simply waited for the senator to tell her how to feel or act. Which was exactly what she had done this time as well.
“Imagine needing someone to tell you how you feel about your dad dying,” I muttered under my breath. Damn, I needed another drink.
Gage leaned away and waited for me to meet his gaze. “What do you mean?”
Oops, I shouldn’t have said that.
Having a hard time maintaining eye contact, I glanced away, only to spot Senator Fairfax surrounded by cameras and microphones at the edge of the stage. My mood instantly soured, and a knot formed in my stomach, a burning ball of anger and resentment exacerbated by several shots of whiskey.
How dare she stand there with a smile on her face like nothing had happened.
I started toward her, but I made it only a couple of steps before Gage caught me by the elbow and spun me around. Fueled with self-righteousness, I tried to shake him off, but it didn’t take long to realize I fought a losing battle. Ceasing my struggle, I stood straight and pulled my shoulders back.
“Let go.”
“Not a good idea.”
Well, that was one opinion. “Let me go.”
He stared at me for a long time before finally releasing my arm and taking a step back.
With a nod, I pulled his coat off and tossed it at him. “You don’t have to stay.”
Gage didn’t respond, but he didn’t leave, either. Instead, he fell into step beside me as I marched over to the circle of reporters. I didn’t have a clear idea of what I intended to do. I didn’t know what I wanted to happen. Maybe nothing. I just needed the senator to see me.
The media lobbed the typical softball questions at her. They wanted to know her plans for the holidays. Where she bought her dress. What she had on her wish list for Santa.
Granted, this wasn’t a campaign rally, or a political event at all. Still, the banality was mind-numbing and kind of insulting.
“Senator!” A young woman with raven hair shoved her phone forward. “I noticed that your son wasn’t present tonight. Can you tell us why?”
The senator didn’t hesitate. Her smile never faltered. “I’m afraid Nathan had other obligations this evening. He regrets not being here, and he sends his well wishes to those in attendance.”
“Can you elaborate?” the reporter pressed. “Is it a work or social obligation?”
Since everyone knew I didn’t have a job, the implication was clear. This woman thought I had chosen clubbing with my friends over my family. Worse, I couldn’t even blame her for coming to that conclusion. After all, that was the story that had been pushed for years now.
I waited to see what the senator would say. Waited to find out exactly what lie she would make up to explain away my absence.
“Neither,” the senator responded with a twinkling laugh. “Nathan is using this time to study for semester finals.”
I blinked. I did have finals coming up in a couple of weeks, and I had been studying.
She didn’t know that, though. How could she when she never asked about my courses or my grades? The only time she cared about my academic life was when she threatened to stop paying my tuition fees unless I toed the line.
“Are you sure he isn’t out partying with his friends?” I called over the din of noise. I didn’t know if the senator actually saw me, but I knew she recognized my voice by the way her smile tensed at the corners.
“Nathan.” Gage grabbed my arm and squeezed.
