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He doesn't reply again, and I begin to feel a little worried. The clock ticks over for a few hours and I still hear nothing from him. I hope everything is ok. When I still have not heard from him by nine, I start to worry.
Me: Hi. Is everything OK?
Hudson: Sorry. I am still at the lawyers. We are going through the case. The ex has thrown a curve ball. I won't be able to see you tonight. Not sure how long this will take.
A curve ball --- What is that bitch up to now?
I feel stress and worry for him as I get ready for bed. I want to hold him in my arms and tell him everything will be okay, but I have no idea what is going on.
It is so unlike him not to reply, especially lately when we are constantly in touch whenever we are apart and cannot keep our hands off each other when we are together.
I struggle to fall asleep. Eventually, I give up and stand out on my balcony.
It is almost two in the morning.
Standing on the edge of my balcony I can just make out the outline of Hudson sitting on his own balcony. He is home. I want to grab my phone and message him again, but he is sitting there with his head in his hands. He looks exhausted and broken. I guess I should respect that he has chosen not to message me and give him the space he wants.
It took me hours to fall asleep and I woke up later than I intended to.
I immediately reach over to pick up my phone but there is no message from Hudson. I dial his number but then stop myself. Surely if he wanted to talk to me, he would have called.
I put the phone back down. Then pick it up again. No, I am being silly. Let me send him a message at least.
Me: Good morning. I hope you are ok. Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you.
I can see the message has been read, but no reply comes.
I feel a little lost. Unsure what to do. He is obviously busy again, or maybe he is struggling to find time for me? What has happened with his ex?
I sigh and toss my phone onto the bed. Heading towards the kitchen to make coffee, I did not have enough sleep to function without it today. Worry seeps into my thoughts as I wonder if this is going to work. Can we keep this secret while he is going through everything with work and the court issues? Maybe it is all getting to be too much for him.
I decided that for the rest of the day, I would do my best not to bother him. I figure that when he is ready, he knows where to find me. I'm right next door.
I am not able to stop myself from checking my phone every five minutes though and each time I open his chat to see nothing from him; my heart feels a little heavier in my chest.
I drop my phone into my bag and decide to get lost in my own work. I have a lot to do, and I should rather just focus on that instead of driving myself crazy waiting for Hudson to respond.
Perhaps whatever it is that we have going on is too much for him to deal with now and perhaps I am being unfair by putting that pressure on him. I hope with all my heart that this is not the case, but the seed of fear is already planted, and I am struggling not to panic a little.
Just give him time, Gi, he needs time. He is going through a lot.
I have still heard nothing and it's well after ten and climbing into bed I want to cry. I pull the blankets over my head and bury my face in the pillow. I feel selfish expecting him to message me. I feel demanding and selfish. But I also think he is being so unfair by not at least letting me know he is okay. I fall asleep hoping he will use the key I left under a rock to sneak into my house like he has been doing since we have gotten back together.
CHAPTER14
HUDSON
It is dark when I pull into my driveway and pull up the hand brake. I sit in my car, taking a moment to enjoy the absolute silence. The last two days have been complete hell, and I am exhausted. I miss Gianna and felt terrible realizing I had not replied to her. I glance at my wrist, pulling my sleeve up to see the time, eleven-fifteen. I look over at her house. There are no lights on inside. She's probably asleep.
Still --- I really want to see her. I need to see her.
Taylor will already be asleep anyway, so it is not like I am needed at home right now. I will spend some time with him in the morning. Right now, I need to be with Gianna.
I close my car door quietly and head towards her house. The key is where she has been leaving it for me the past week or so, under a little rock to the side of her walkway.
I slip it into the lock and gently open the door without a sound.
Closing it softly behind me.
