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The sound of his voice startled her just a bit.
“I think God is trying to teach me patience, too. Maybe that’s something He’s been trying to teach me all along.” He didn’t really elaborate any more.
“Because of what we talked about? About getting older and slowing down?”
“Maybe to some extent. Yeah, I have to be patient with myself. Or maybe patient with the work I need to do. I have to spread it out a little more. I have to make sure I give myself breaks. I have to realize that I can’t work eighteen-hour days every day all week long like I might’ve done back when I was younger. And yeah, some of that is learning to work smarter, not harder.”
“I’ve heard that, and I think that that’s something that people our age come up with, because we realize that we have to compensate for the things we can’t do anymore.”
“Right. I mean, that’s part of God’s plan. He makes it so our bodies don’t work as well, so our focus becomes different. We look at other things, focusing on the things that we can do, rather than the things that we can’t.”
“Maybe that’s something else we’re supposed to be learning?”
“To shift perspective?” He nodded. “Maybe.” He didn’t say anything more, and she thought about how the Lord was doing that in her life currently. She’d always seen Mark as a friend. A good one, someone she could depend on. But now, in just a few short days, God had shifted her entire perspective so she was looking at him less as a friend and more as a...romantic interest? Something like that.
She wanted to figure it out. But that was where her lesson in patience was coming in. This, her relationship with Mark, had to play out, just like everything else, the inn, her financial situation, her inheritance, and even her relationship with her girls. She had to wait and learn to be happy in the waiting.
“Sometimes, I think when we’re waiting, we can keep ourselves occupied.” Mark spoke, almost as though he had read her thoughts.
“I was just thinking maybe God has us wait because He wants us to learn things. Or get better at things, or see if we’ll use our time wisely.”
“We only have a limited amount of time. We should be using it wisely. But instead, we want time to go faster so we get what we want, and then once we have that, we realize that it really wasn’t what we wanted. Now we want something else.”
“That seems to be human nature everywhere. We want what we don’t have, until we have it, and then we want something else. We can’t ever be satisfied.”
“Maybe that’s why marriages have such a hard time lasting. You look at someone and think they’re exactly what you want. And then, once you’re married, you think that they’re not what you want anymore, and your eyes land on someone else, and you decide that’s who you want.”
“And it’s become socially acceptable to get divorced, so you do it. Not a good thing, I don’t think anyone thinks it’s a good thing. But there’s no stigma like there used to be, and so just because we’re unhappy or incompatible, or maybe we’ve even cheated. And then, it’s okay.”
Chapter 15
Mark nodded slowly, his eyes looking with contemplation at the lake. “I wonder if there’s a happy medium? A spot where we’re content but still working toward a goal? I mean, if your life doesn’t have a goal, if there isn’t something to look forward to... Is it possible to be truly content in the moment, wanting nothing?”
Pam bit her lip. “I think it is. Isn’t that what Jesus wants? For us to rest in him. Resting implies patience. Or at least a lack of impatience. And we just rest content. We don’t strive for things, we don’t want what we don’t have. We’re just...peaceful and content.”
“That’s something to work toward. I know I’m not there yet. Although, I’m closer than I used to be in a way. I can’t think of anything right now that I would rather have than a friend beside me, a good friend and a beautiful evening beside Lake Michigan, riding in a horse and carriage. Which is crazy, but so nice and relaxing. I’m content.” He nodded, and she could tell from the tone of his voice that it was absolutely true. He was perfectly content with exactly what he had right at that moment.
