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Analise shook her head. “I stand by what I said. I think being involved with Evan is risky and dangerous, but it’s clear I can’t convince you to come home. And maybe you’re right. Maybe staying there for now is the safest option, but don’t forget you’re your own person, Mariah. You still need to think about your own goals. Don’t let your life become so wrapped up in this man that you forget yourself.”
The words were a familiar echo of my own thoughts. I’d already had a glimpse of that path. While I ultimately knew I wanted to be with Evan, it was a solid reminder that I had to figure out how to balance my desire to have a family with independence.
“You’re right,” I said. “I know what I want now. I’m going to really start looking into programs and schools.”
“Well, that’s something,” she said begrudgingly, then her expression sharpened. “But if you keep anything else like this from me again, Mariah, so help me…”
I smiled. “No more secrets. I promise.”
We chatted for a few more minutes, with Analise catching me up on what she’d been up to since I left town. When we ended the call, I flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as I reflected on what she had said.
It was time I stopped putting my future on hold. There were so many uncertainties in my life right now. I had no idea when Jax would make contact or what would happen with Tomas. Sebastian wanted Evan to take on the role of alpha, which he kept saying he didn’t want. But as the days passed and I saw him and Sebastian together, I wondered if he’d change his mind.
I couldn’t believe how easily he fit in here for one. Evan seemed like a city guy through and through, but watching him here with the other dragon shifters, and seeing him with his family made me realize there was another, wilder side to the man I loved.
If he ultimately decided he wanted to stay here, would I choose to as well? I couldn’t imagine a life without Evan and Sofia.
And then there was mating, which seemed like a serious commitment.
I sighed. All of those things were hypothetical, up in the air, when I needed some kind of stability, some direction. I couldn’t just wait around letting my life play out in a way that was dependent on others’ choices. I didn’t know how long we’d be here, but I needed to live my own life. I just wasn’t sure how.
I stood up out of bed and checked my watch. Sofia was napping in the room across the hall. I didn’t know when she found the time, but Abigail had already converted it into a nursery for Sofia. The little girl had everything she could possibly need.
I still had a little time before she woke up, so I decided to take a short walk. As soon as I stepped out into the heat of a Texas summer, though, I questioned if it was the best idea. Just a few minutes into the walk and I was sweating. Still, the fresh country air was refreshing compared to the city.
My conversation with Analise played itself back in my head as I walked, and my resolve to do something for myself grew. I was turning to head back to the house when I spotted Evan making his way toward me along the trail.
I squinted, shielding my eyes from the sun as I took in his muscled physique, his broad shoulders, and his massive biceps. The yellowed rays gleamed off his skin, and my heart skipped a beat when he lifted his gaze to mine, our eyes locking. A slow smile curved his lips, and my heart beat double-time.
“What are you doing out here in this heat?” he said as he drew closer. “Most people down here choose this time of day to have a glass of iced tea inside and relax.”
I shrugged. “I just needed to do some thinking.”
He eyed me with curiosity as he reached my side and took my hand. “How did the conversation with Analise go?”
Turning, we fell into step with each other, our fingers lacing as we walked hand-in-hand. “Could have been better. Could have been worse.”
Evan chuckled. “Sounds par for the course. You want to talk about it?”
I glanced sidelong at him, studying his profile. His firm jaw and straight nose, the full lips that’d tempted me from the day I first met him. He was always there for me, no matter what. Evan was a rock, and I realized then that I’d been carrying so much of this burden on my own. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
I told him the details as we walked, not leaving anything out this time, and now that he knew Analise’s feelings on the matter, it felt good to discuss it openly.
“She’s worried about me. For my safety, mostly, but she’s also afraid that I’m not living my own life. I have to admit, Evan,” I said, sneaking another glance at him, “that thought has crossed my mind more than once since this whole fiasco with Tomas began.”
Evan knew exactly how afraid I’d been to get involved with him in the beginning. I’d sworn off relationships, vowing never to depend on a man like my mother always had, and resisted our attraction as long as I could. Ultimately, I’d let him in on the reasons why.
Evan stopped, turning to face me. “You know I support you in whatever you want to do, Mariah. I have to agree with Analise here.”
“What?”
Evan shook his head. “Not about leaving. That’s the last thing I want, and I’ve made my feelings for you very clear. We belong together, Mariah. But we talked about it this before—your desire to go to school, to build something for yourself. I thought it was a good idea then, and I still think so now. I want you to pursue your dreams.”
“But we have no idea what the future holds,” I said. “We don’t know how long we’ll be here, when we’ll have enough information to make a move on Tomas.”
Evan reached up and placed his hands on my shoulders, squeezing lightly before running his fingers down my arms and back up. “No, we don’t know how long we’ll be here, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait around. You can look into schools, even take some online classes. You’re so much more than just my daughter’s nanny, and you have been for a long while. It’s time you did something for you. Abi is more than happy to help take care of Sofia and give you time to yourself. We’re equals in this, Mariah, and I want you to live your own life.”
I swallowed a lump forming in my throat. He was so understanding. So supportive. We’d been through hell these past few weeks, thanks to the Hawthornes, but we’d come through it even more connected, our relationship surviving each test, emerging stronger for it.
