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“That’s fair…but?” I prompted.
“Marley, I don’t side with any man who tries to boss you around or tries to act like your keeper, let me make that super clear,” she said. “But I gotta tell you, watching Travis go through all of this has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.” She lowered her voice. “He’s putting himself through hell just to be stronger for me, for his friends. And every step of the way, I feel guilty that he’s putting his body through this, knowing how much pain he’s gone through already. When he started seizing the other day, when his brain was swelling and his fever was raging...I realized I might lose him because of this thing I supported him in doing. And I was beside myself.”
I was quiet for a moment. “Don’t you think he’ll be able to protect himself even better, though? Once this is all over?”
“Yes, and that’s what keeps me going and smiling, but—and if you ever tell him I said this, I will kick your adorable little ass—I regret encouraging him to do it. I didn’t research what it would be like; I was just excited to have him share this biology with me. I was excited to go on runs with him and snuggle up in our wolf forms. But if I’d realized it could kill him, I wouldn’t have done it. For the first time, I’ve had to face the reality that he could actually die because of this, and...I can’t lose him.”
I’d never seen Lana look so conflicted, so scared. She’d always struck me as incredibly confident, almost arrogant at times. Frankly, it was something about her that I deeply admired. But now, seeing her vulnerability made me realize how strong she was inside.
“There’s nothing easy about watching someone you care about suffer like that,” I said. “I’m so sorry if I seemed flippant about it.”
“No, I didn’t think you were being flippant. It’s just...fuck, Marley, I’m terrified,” she said, biting her thumbnail. “I haven’t been able to sleep. I put on my best face to crack jokes with Travis, but I just finally met a perfect partner after years of shitty alpha bros who couldn’t keep up. And now that I might have to lose him—” Lana swallowed hard and looked up at the ceiling, biting her trembling lip. “Fuck,” she said in a whisper. “This is so embarrassing.” Lana’s voice quivered slightly, betraying her deep anxiety. There was a crack in her normally confident demeanor.
“You shouldn’t worry about losing him yet,” I comforted. “Travis looks pretty resilient to me, considering everything he’s going through. Just remember that right now, he needs you more than ever. Keep showing up and being strong for him.”
“He does,” Lana agreed, calming somewhat. “And he’s helped me through some rough times. Like when I wasn’t there to protect you, and all the bullshit at the school and dealing with our asinine superintendent—”
I was surprised to hear everything she was going through. A lot of them, I realized, I should have been able to glean. But I had been so absorbed in my own chaotic life that I had hardly shown up for Lana.
Putting down the bedding on a nearby shelf, I pulled her into a tight embrace. “Lana, I’m so sorry,” I said. “I’ve been a horrible friend to you.”
“What? No, you haven’t.”
“I haven’t been checking on you. Not at all.”
“Marley, you almost died like a month ago, and before that, you were being stalked. It’s not something you have to worry about.” Lana huffed but hugged me all the same. “Marley, you’re sweet. This wasn’t my way of trying to be back-handed about you. I’m just venting.”
“I know it wasn’t, but I want you to know that I do care, even if I fail to show it sometimes,” I said.
“Girl, you’ve been so helpful to me through this whole process,” Lana said. “Believe me when I say that I know you’ve got my back whenever I need it. Hell, even this hug is a godsend.”
I chuckled. “Thank you for saying that. I’m happy I’m here for you.”
“You always are,” Lana replied with a slight grin. “Now, enough of this sappy stuff. Let’s focus on picking out those sheets.”
I followed her lead and dropped the sappy stuff. “Wanna help me pick the ones for the guest room?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely,” she responded. “Especially since that’s where I’ll likely be sleeping tomorrow. Gotta sleep in style.”
“I would expect nothing less from you,” I teased.
Lana and I strolled through the aisles of the home goods section, grazing the fabric of various curtains as we talked about the pros and cons of each one. After careful consideration, we settled on blackout curtains—a sleek gray option with cozy, velvety lining for the guest room, and a pretty turquoise one to increase the beachy vibes in my and Cole’s bedroom.
In the bath section, stacks of fluffy towels in varying shades beckoned us. We chose a mix of teals that matched the bedspreads and crisp whites. Imagining them neatly folded in the bathroom reminded me that we still needed a few other things for those rooms. We added some new cookware and throw pillows for good measure before heading back into the main area of the mall.
We spent some much-needed time together just enjoying a bit of shopping. In some ways, it felt like we were getting away with something, but we’d also needed the break and the space to vent about everything going on. I bought a couple of new outfits after making sure Cole would be all right with the extra spending. Luckily, he seemed pleased about me getting something for myself.
Lana opening up about her own struggles had helped us talk and vent freely about the things that were bothering us. I’d gotten an opportunity to really hear her out about her own stressors. It was so nice to be there for a friend who had done so much for me.
“You mentioned the superintendent,” I said. “Has there been a lot going on with that?”
“The Lanyon Clover people got their grimy little hands on him,” she said. “He’s been slowly trying to dismantle Polar Shift from the inside out. He’s started hiring these aides and teachers that are making my day-to-day a fucking nightmare. Every time we try to organize something for the kids, they kick up a fuss. The parents are wondering why the kids are so separate. Bullying has been a problem. It’s just—it’s a fucking nightmare.”
“What can we do to help?” I asked.
“Get everyone you can to the polls when I fucking run for superintendent this winter,” she muttered.
“Hold on, what?” I said. “You’re running for superintendent?! Of course I’ll vote for you. I’ll campaign for you, for fuck’s sake!”
