AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He shakes his head. "Hell no. I don't want you moving in here. Your mom and I are going on our honeymoon. We're going to come back like newlyweds. We don't need a kid around."
Mom laughs. "Stop it, Hank."
I grin. "Well, I'll let you guys have at it. I'm going to go change before we head to church."
Mom smiles. "All right, sweetheart. We're going to leave in just about five minutes."
In my bedroom, I unzip my duffle bag and look for a collared shirt. I pull it on, hoping it's not wrinkled, and in the bathroom I comb back my hair, thinking about what Pops was saying at dinner, that Miracle moved back home, that she's no longer a nun.
Is it possible? Truth is, just the thought of it gets me hard. I have to grip the edge of the counter to get ahold of myself. I keep imagining her saying her prayers, her head bowed, her lips parted, her pink tongue…
Okay, I’ve got to stop. I shake my head, telling myself to get a grip.You're going to church not to bed with this woman.
I meet my parents at the front door, and the three of us head out to the church. We walk like we always do, and I know when we pass Miracle's house a few blocks down, because I always notice it, but the lights are off though the Christmas lights are on.
I'm sure they're already at church. They're a much more religious family than we are. I wonder if that would bother Miracle. I shake my head, not that it matters. Miracle and I aren't a thing, so it doesn't matter what she's looking for or not.
We walk into the church. Mom and Pops are holding hands. I take a program from the usher as we look for a pew. Mom finds one in the middle of the church, and we scoot in. I'm on the end of the aisle.
As I take my seat, I look over. On the other side of the aisle are four young women and their dad. The Lanes. Miracle is sitting opposite me. I look at her, and our eyes lock.
Damn it. I shake my head, and she shakes hers, a smile cresting her face, her eyes twinkling brightly. Her sister seems to be watching the silent exchange, but before I can say anything to her like, "Hello, by the way, I've been dreaming about you for years," the music from the organ begins to play, and we all stand ready to sing the Christmas hymn “Silent Night,” but I swear I hear the pounding of my heart beating like Little Drummer Boy.
I look over at her, unable to keep my eyes away. She is in a red wool coat with black boots to her knees, and her hair is long and loose around her shoulders. Her profile is beautiful. Her nose is upturned, her lips pink and pouty. Her cheeks are flushed from the winter cold outside. Candles surround us, everything lit up like magic. The stained glass windows are hauntingly beautiful, the church music echoing around us.
What follows for the next hour is singing, and prayers, and kneeling, and then candles are passed to everyone in the sanctuary, and we light them one by one.
I look over at Miracle. Her eyes are closed, her head bowed, just like I imagined. She's holding that candle flickering in front of her. The whole church is illuminated. I feel something, and no, not my hardening cock. This time it's something else, and it's more than a beating heart.
I look at her and feel a surge of longing. Not lust. It feels like love, and I know that's crazy. This girl and I, hell, we haven't talked in four years, and before that, we hardly ever spoke, but maybe words aren't necessary.
I know what I've been praying for every night when I go to sleep, and sure, I'm not the religious sort, but maybe that doesn't matter.
If Miracle left the church and is no longer a nun, maybe her religion changed too. Maybe both of us simply believe in love.
6
MIRACLE
It is impossible to concentrate. For the entire service, my mind is on him.
Silas.
I keep stealing a look, and every time I do, I'm reminded just how handsome Silas Ritter is. He's even more handsome now. He must have gotten stronger in bootcamp. His shoulders are broad. I swear there are muscles in his neck and his jaw. His hair is cropped, and I want to run my fingers through it … and now I'm thinking things I shouldn't, things that started me on the path of leaving the church.
I swallow, focusing on the words of Silent Night, looking for some sort of amazing grace. I close my eyes, willing myself to follow along as we kneel and bow our heads, praying to the heavens, looking for all the gratitude in our hearts, feeling a surge of love flow throughout the church, grateful that I'm here with my sisters and my dad, that even though I changed my life path, I haven't been turned away from the place I call home—at least my second home, the church.
It's excruciating, though, standing across the aisle from Silas, wondering what he's thinking. I saw the look in his eyes though when he looked at me. It was reflective of my own heart pounding with anticipation and questions and wonderment, amazement that he is here.
Dad was just talking about him. What are the odds that I am back home and so is he? And isn't he in the Navy? Lovey said he never posts a girlfriend on Instagram. My mind is swirling with thoughts that are ridiculous because I don't even know Silas, and he doesn't even know me, but he's looking at me like he does, like he knows something, like he knows everything.
And in that split second, as my eyes are closed and my head is bowed, I pray. I pray for my own sort of Christmas miracle. I've always been the sort to believe in them.
I was my mom's miracle, after all. All she wanted in the whole world was to be a mom, and I made her one. That's why she named me this. And it's a ridiculous name, sort of silly, but it's also so full of beauty. And right now, I'm reminded of everything I want in life.
Not the fancy vacations and not the big old house. I just want a place to call mine, a home to create with a husband, a family to grow of my own. I understand why my mom wanted to be a mom so badly, because I suddenly have that feeling too, a desire to create a life with someone else.
I look over at Silas, and once again, his eyes are catching mine. The service is ended, and everyone is putting on their coats or buttoning their jackets, and he's stepping out toward me, then he is next to me.
