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I look up at him, a smile spreading across my face.
"Miracle Lane," he says. "Merry Christmas."
I press my lips together, looking for the word, searching for something to say that's both clever and cute and real.
"You're so much more handsome than I remember," I blurt out, instantly realizing what I've just said, and my cheeks turn crimson red. He breaks out into a grin.
"Well, I wasn't expecting you to say that. You always seemed like the shy and quiet type."
I shrug. "I think I'm a lot different than you remember."
He nods. "I understand. I think I'm a lot different than you remember."
I lick my lips, looking up at him. "Do you have plans for Christmas?" I ask, instantly realizing how dumb that sounds. His parents are a few feet behind him talking to some other people, and he's here to see his parents. It's Christmas.
"Actually, I don't," he says.
I frown. "Really? You're not doing Christmas with your parents?"
"No. They're actually leaving town right after the service. I'm going to be alone on Christmas."
My eyes widen, and I look back at my family. They're scattered around the church talking to friends, and I'm alone with Silas. I'm grateful that my sisters read the room and gave me a moment of peace. "Well, if you're not doing anything for Christmas, maybe we could...get together?"
He smiles. "Are you asking me out?"
I cringe. "Oh my God. Is that embarrassing?”
"No. It's sweet. You want to spend Christmas together?"
"Is that weird? I mean, I haven't talked to you in four years. We just went to high school together. We were never even really friends. I don't know what I'm thinking." I shake my head, pressing my fingertips to my cheeks, telling myself to calm down, but I just feel so much all at once for him.
"I'd love to spend Christmas with you," he answers. "You tell me what you want. I can come to your place and do Christmas with your family or you can come to mine and we can do Christmas just you and me."
"Your house will be empty?" I ask tentatively.
He nods. "Yep. I'll be all alone."
I know what it could mean going to his place, hisempty placeon Christmas, and I know what Christmas would look like at my house with him coming to me and my sisters and my dad. The whole day would be loud and chaotic and silly and ridiculous.
But this whole year has been about giving in to what I truly desire, even if it's scary and unknown and uncertain. It's been a whole year of saying yes to what I want instead of to what I should do or who I should be. And when I look at Silas, I know exactly what I would do if there was no guilt involved, no expectations that other people had on me.
"Look, I don't mean to put you on the spot," he says. "We could also hang out on New Year's—shoot, except I'm going to be gone." He shrugs. "Any time, honestly. I'm home for five days, and I'd love to see you."
"I want to come to your house tomorrow," I tell him quickly, my voice fast and real and honest.
He smiles at me and nods slowly. "All right. Do you want to have Christmas breakfast together, Christmas lunch, or Christmas dinner?" His words are soft, and he leans in so only I can hear them. I feel the warmth of his breath on my ear.
"Can I say yes to all three?" My body is lit up, on fire in a way it's been before, but not like this. This is different. This is real. This is so close. It's happening. I swallow.
"You can say yes all day long," he whispers.
I smile. "All right. I will come over for breakfast."
"Perfect," he says. "I'll make a fire, and we can have hot cocoa. I'm sure my mom has food in the house. Don't worry about that."
"You can cook?"
Silas smiles. "Yeah, I actually can. I was my mom's only child, and she was really insistent that I learned how to do things on my own. Cook and clean and all that stuff."
