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Fresh tears streamed down my face. “Safe? I don’t understand.”
“He was in bad shape, and until we got him stable, we had to keep him there.”
“But . . . Why didn’t you tell me? Or say something?”
“Orders were to keep everything under wraps until we got back.”
Twenty minutes of asking questions and getting the runaround. It wasn’t that Pete didn’t want to answer me—he just couldn’t. Legality, security, and clearance levels prohibited anyone from telling me anything other than surface-level information. I was just the wife. This fact should matter, but it didn’t when it came to the government and protecting our nation. All that mattered to me was that I was going to see Vince. Hudson was going to have his father. His parents—“Shit!” I said. “We need to go. We have to tell Renee and Daniel.”
Pete nodded. “I can drive you and Hudson.”
I stood up, sat right back down, and stood up again. “I don’t know what to do, Pete.” I ran my hands through my hair, looked at my son, and then back at Pete. “What do I do?”
“Grab your keys. I’ll grab Hudson. Come on.” He stood and helped me to my feet.
My visit with Daniel and Renee, Vince’s parents, was unlike any of our visits since finding out Vince had been killed.
To say it was emotional would be an understatement. I was thankful that Pete came with me. Even though he shed tears with us, he was resilient and steadfast.
By the time Pete drove me home, I was exhausted. My eyes were bloodshot, my nose was red, and my face was puffed up like an overinflated balloon. Still, I smiled. So many emotions filled me, but joy was at the top of the list.
I thought I’d fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillows. But no. I tossed and turned all night. No matter how much I cried, my emotionally shot nerves made it impossible to fall asleep. So did the adrenaline high. I still couldn’t believe Vince was alive.
Hudson woke me at five o’clock. I was semi-awake already. I cried while I fed and rocked our son in my arms. The shock of his rescue was still surging through me. “You’re going to meet Daddy,” I told Hudson. He smiled and babbled in response like he knew what I meant.
After I settled him back into his crib, I hurried to my bedroom and got ready, keeping the baby monitor within reach in case he woke up again. I slipped into a jade green dress. Green was Vince’s favorite color. I didn’t know what to expect or how much interaction I would get—if he’d even be awake or coherent enough to talk to me—but I wanted to look my best.
I turned toward Vince’s half of the closet, and my breath caught in my throat. His clothes still hung pristinely on his hangers. I always told myself if I left them where he kept them, that he would come back. As long as I kept them, he was still alive. My fingers shook as I reached out, gently stroking the fabric of his shirts hanging in the closet. His sweatshirts were still perfectly folded and stacked on the shelves. Dress pants and jeans. Each article held a special memory, a moment shared. Our laughter echoed in my mind. I could almost feel his kiss on my lips. Here hung the threads that wove the tapestry of our love story.
They hung where they always had. I never had the heart to take them down or donate them. A thankful tear slipped down my cheek. I enfolded myself into Vince’s clothes. It had to be my imagination because I could still smell his cologne lingering. It was like an invisible hug from him, a familiar embrace keeping us tethered together. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes, etching his essence into memory. I picked up the bottle from the shelf where it sat and spritzed it into the air. Vince’s scent, a blend of sandalwood and citrus, enveloped me, wrapping me in a cocoon of love. I wiped the dust away and placed the bottle back in its dedicated space.
It was almost time to leave. In less than two hours, I’d see the man who had defied the odds and come back to me. I’d be that much closer as soon as Ashley, the babysitter, and Daniel and Renee got here. My heart fluttered at the thought. I checked on Hudson and then made my way to the kitchen. I drank some tea and flipped mindlessly through a magazine without reading any of the words. My heart felt like a jackhammer. Time ticked by at a snail’s pace. All I wanted was to get to the hospital and see Vince. I checked the clock. Again. Only eight minutes later than the last time I looked.
When the doorbell rang, I about jumped out of my skin. The moment I’d been waiting for was finally here.
The silence in the elevator was deafening. The ding startled me. The doors whooshed open. The floor was eerily quiet. Nurses sat behind the desk and huddled around the station. A few doctors stood checking over what I assumed were patient charts and reports.
Walking down the sterile white hallways with Renee and Daniel flanking me on either side made me feel protected. Still, my heart pounded in anticipation. When we reached Vince’s room, I paused, taking a deep breath and willing myself to stay strong and keep the tears at bay.
Nothing could have prepared me. It was Vince, but it wasn’t the Vince who left me almost two years ago. My breath hitched as my eyes landed on his lifeless form in the hospital bed. His eyes were closed, his cheeks seemed hollow, and his skin pallor. He had a serene expression on his face, but the bruising and scarring could not be mistaken. My stomach rolled, and I did everything I could not to throw up from the nerves. Renee clutched my hand as she brought her other to her quivering lips. “My baby,” she whimpered, her voice a fragile tremor.
Daniel held onto her. His lips were pressed into a tight, thin line. He was holding it together for both Renee and me. “Hailey?” He cleared his throat, then smiled. It was a nervous smile, but it gave me a bit of hope.
“I’m fine. I think.” I chuckled as my insides churned with happiness, nervousness, and all-out fear. “I never thought I’d see him again.” We moved together as one unit, then split up. I took the right side, and Daniel and Renee moved to the left.
Tears filled their eyes. They weren’t sad tears but happy ones at seeing their son alive.
“Talk to him,” Renee said.
It took every ounce of strength not to blubber as I began speaking. “Vince, honey. It's me. It’s Hailey.” I willed myself to be strong for him, but the tears fell anyway. I’d never seen him look so helpless, so lifeless. Yellowed bruises covered his face and arms. His head and face were shaved. Pete told me they cleaned him up to run some tests and check him over from head to toe before transferring him here, but I knew he’d hate it.
The urge to touch him was too strong. I want to caress him, hold him, kiss him. His chest rose and fell, and all I could do was watch him breathe as the monitors beeped.
“Can you hear me, Vince? Baby, can you hear me? It’s Hailey. I don’t know what to say, other than I missed you. We missed you so much, baby. Losing you was like losing a part of myself. I was empty, hollow. I had nothing left.” I shook my head. “No, I shouldn’t say that. I did have something. The best part of you. And I can’t wait for you to meet him.”
Vince’s hand pulsed in mine. “I swear you can hear me. Can’t you, baby? You’re so fearless and strong. You’re the most determined man I know. You’ll come back to me, baby. I know you will. You just need to rest. You’ll wake up when you’re ready. And I’ll be right here. Okay? You never give up . . . no matter what you’re up against. You’re a fighter, Vince. Remember that. And know that, good or bad, I am here for you. We will face whatever comes. Hand in hand.” I looked down at our joined hands, willing him to squeeze mine again to let me know he heard me. All I wanted was for him to wake up so I could look into his eyes and tell him all of this.
He remained stoically still. Steady beeps from the monitors and the monotonous whoosh of the machines hooked up to him filled the air. I didn’t want to lose hope, but that’s how it felt. Hopeless. There was no way I would survive losing him again.
