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“You’re right. And I said I’d do anything to get my memory back.” Dr. Farris gave a slight nod. “You aren’t suggesting you hook me up to some electrode machine and zap my brain.”
That got a chuckle out of him. “No, I’m not. Hypnotherapy is completely safe, and we can do it right here whenever you’re ready.”
I looked around. Hailey’s voice was clear as a bell. “All right, let’s give it a go.”
Dr. Farris checked the time. “If time runs over, are you okay with that? I don’t want to start if there’s someplace you need to be. My next appointment cancelled yesterday, so I do have an extra hour in case we need it.”
“I don’t have anywhere to be. But let me just text Hailey so she doesn’t worry.”
“By all means,” he said. As I sent a quick text to Hailey, Dr. Farris went about his business. From the looks of it, there wasn’t anything different for me to do. He told me to sit back, close my eyes, and focus on my breathing. I listened as he talked, did as instructed, and soon he was counting.
When I came to, thirty minutes later, Dr. Farris didn’t have anything to report that was different from what I’d already told him. I was hoping for a miracle that apparently wasn’t going to happen. At least not today. “What I do is not an exact science,” he told me when he saw my disappointment.
“I wish it were. What do you think’s going on in here?” I tapped my head.
“The good thing is that you don’t show any signs of psychosis or disillusionment of reality.Nor do you appear to have cognitive deficits other than the inability to recall everything from your mission or your abduction. From what I’m seeing now, and what I have witnessed since our first session, your symptoms could be the result of emotional trauma rather than physical. Emotional trauma can trigger memory loss. Or perhaps you’re subconsciously not ready to face it all yet. For whatever reason, you only remember fragments of an entire memory.”
“What does that mean for me?”
He shrugged and pressed his lips together. “You were gone a while, Vince. That’s no small feat to overcome. If you’re willing, we can try this again. But for now, I think Hailey’s advice of writing things down might benefit you.”
I chuckled and shook his hand. “Hailey will be so happy to know you agree with her.”
“I don’t think there’s any harm in trying. Let’s see how things go over the next week.”
“You got it.”
“I know you’re dealing with a lot, Vince. Remember, you have an excellent support system: Hailey, your parents, your friends, your team of doctors. Everyone wants the same thing you do. It’s easy to get lost in everything and focus on the negative. Remember how far you’ve come and use that strength to pull you through the darkness.”
As I headed home, I replayed my session with Dr. Farris. Life was a rollercoaster right now. At least, that’s how I felt inside my own thoughts. He was right about the negative and the darkness. It was easy to feel sorry for myself when things weren’t happening the way I wanted. The motto,Slow and steady wins the race, held merit. But for a Navy SEAL like me, who wasn’t used to failure and had countless successful missions under his belt, it was a hard pill to swallow.
When I pulled into the driveway, the gloomy cloud that was following me around like I was a cartoon character, disappeared. Hailey and Hudson, the lights of my life, were reading a book under the shade of the tree. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t remember every detail of the worst time of my life. Right here in front of me were the two people I lived and breathed for. Maybe my brain was a little imperfect. That I could learn to live with, but I would never be able to survive without Hailey or Hudson. Maybe I’d never get the answers I needed, but I would never take it for granted that I was safe and sound withmyfamily inourhome.
Chapter 21
Hailey
I was smiling from head to toe. It was a beautiful day, and I was in my garden.
The past several weeks flew by without one single hiccup—no bad news from the doctors and no nightmares. Work was good for me. Vince’s physical therapy was going well. He was getting stronger with each passing day. His visits with Dr. Farris helped, and he was considering dropping to every other week soon.
Hudson was doing great.
And our sex life was phenomenal. I mean, out of this world, spectacular!
I was working in my garden. Vince was taking a mid-day nap with Hudson. We were planning his upcoming birthday party. Vince wasn’t here for his first birthday and only got to relive it through the pictures and videos. This year, I was going all out! Even more than I had for his first birthday. With Vince home, I wanted him to experience everything he missed out on last year. We were either going to do an airplane or construction theme. Hudson was obsessed with airplanes and dump trucks at the moment.
“You look like you’re having a good time,” Vince said.
I screamed, clutching my heart. “You scared me!”
“Sorry. I thought you heard the screen door.”
I shook my head. “I was lost in my thoughts.”
“About?”
“Work. Hudson’s party. You.” My cheeks flushed with a warm heat.
