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My hands were tucked inside of my joggers. I still wore the hoodie I’d had on while outside.
I need that fucking blanket, I thought, releasing a yawn.
I stood and quietly tiptoed toward Lawe. When I snatched the blanket from over him, he stirred slightly but didn’t wake. I felt victorious after successfully obtaining the blanket. I draped it over my body and regretted it immediately. It smelled just like her.
1:11 a.m.
The time on my phone was big and blinding. As I adjusted to the light, I noticed the notification at the bottom of my screen. As if she had been thinking of me, too, Glacier had sent a text an hour ago. If she wasn’t working, she was usually sleeping around this time.
Instead of texting her back, I tossed the cover off and stretched my body until my bones popped. I debated waking Lawe up, but the idea of Kleu popping his ass in the eye like he claimed he loved, I decided to leave him asleep.
I wanted to test her limits, see if she’d fall through for us all. It was time someone blacked that nigga’s shit. Considering how spooked that nigga would be when he woke up and realized he was alone with Ghost and Midnight, I snickered on the way to the coupe, covering my mouth so that he wouldn’t hear me.
Anxiously, I cruised the city, taking in everything at once. Though my situation gave me little room to breathe, making me feel suffocated, knowing that I was on my way home to her provided me with an unrestricted oxygen supply. I gripped the wheel of my ride with Glacier heavy on my heart.
She’d been designed for me. Perfectly, she fit. It wasn’t until she walked into my life that I came to the conclusion that I’d been lonely before. Shielding my heart from women after the world had already broken it was my coping mechanism.
I didn’t want to cope anymore. I wanted to live. That was what Glacier did for a nigga. She gave me life. She gave me purpose. She gave me hope, some shit I hadn’t had since the day my momma killed herself and my pops.
A smile caressed my face after a week of expressionless features. Imagining her coming toward me dressed in white from head to toe… Imagining her walking around the crib with a belly so swollen, she couldn’t see her feet… Imagining her carrying something we created together… Imagining us decorating trees and opening gifts on Christmas.
It didn’t feel so farfetched now. In fact, it felt like it was at the tips of my fingers. The quicker I handled the situation at hand, the faster I could ice her out and give her an endless budget to plan the wedding of her dreams. How I’d break it to Lawe that Trent would be the nigga standing beside me, I wasn’t sure. I just hoped Trent had enough bullets because that nigga would surely be gunning for his head.
Trent. I recalled the last conversation we’d had. He, too, was ready to sit down and put a ring on Ava’s finger. Growth was a beautiful fucking thing and it was so fucking rewarding.
“Hi, Mr. Domino. In for the remainder of the night?”
Valet was at my door, ready to take my whip upstairs for me if I was ending my night.
“Yeah. I’m in for the night, my guy. Keys inside.”
“Good. Thank you. See you later.”
The elevator ride gave me more time to think about her, about us. A few months was all I needed to know what I wanted for the rest of my life. It had everything to do with Glacier. Yet, I couldn’t shake the apprehension that revolved around my occupation. Niggas needed one reason to bring me to my knees and I had given it to them that night at dinner.
I’d be kicking myself for the next five years for that slip-up. Among my associates was not the place for Glacier to be. I’d placed a target on her back. That was why it was important that I handled Nelson. He’d be the lesson for any nigga who considered fucking with Mommas.
Curled up in a ball, Glacier laid in bed. Sleep had taken over, leaving her no choice but to rest her heart, her mind, and her body. Emotions swelled in my chest. Seeing her was like seeing my most vital organ outside of my body. I rubbed my chest to ease the pain my love for her caused.
I undressed, stripping down to my briefs. It was me, this time, who needed to feel her skin against mine, to feel the pressure of our bodies as they collided in a nonsexual manner, to hear every breath she took, and to have something to hold on to. To have her to hold on to.
I pulled the cover back slightly to climb into bed behind her. My heart stopped at the sight of my belongings. The large white tee was a few sizes too big for her, but she wore it anyway to signify the intense yearning for my presence. The briefs she wore hugged her frame so wonderfully. They didn’t belong to her but seemed as if every thread had been tailored for her existence.
The contorting of my face helped display my true feelings. A mess, I tucked my face near her neck and brought her closer.
“Baby,” she whispered, still asleep.
“Y-yes, Mommas.” I felt my voice slip.
Choking off my words led me to silence. I had nothing to say. Yet, I was feeling everything.
* * *
“Y’all dead fucking wrong,” I scoffed, sucking the skin of my teeth.
The snow that fell and wind that blew relentlessly made it seem so much colder than it actually was. The hoodie I’d worn over the last week and a half simply didn’t mount to much in the brutal cold of the day now. I added a thick, black Moncler piece that didn’t let a single gust of wind cut through its fabric.
I stared at my parents’ grave with malice in my heart. I hated them both, but not for any reason other than leaving my brothers and me far too soon. While there was only one reason to despise them, there were a hundred more reasons to love them. And I loved them deeply.
