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“But shit, y’all already know that. We’re here to discuss something else… someone else.”
Sighing, I proceeded to shake my head. It didn’t matter how many years passed or how much their absence taught me, I still found it hard to believe they weren’t here with me.
“So, I met this girl, man,” I said, turning toward my father’s side of the headstone where his body rested. “She’s special.”
I turned toward my mother. “You’d love her. She reminds me of you in some ways, many ways, really. According to Lawe, we’ve all surrounded ourselves with women just like you. He didn’t say it out of his mouth, but I knew that’s what he meant.
“And honestly, I ain’t mad about it. You were in possession of such a beautiful spirit. You were the purest of people who ever entered Dad’s life. Things just got in the way, things that you couldn’t control or you would’ve. I know you would’ve.”
I paused, realizing I was making this about my parents when I simply wanted to tell them about the girl who meant the most to me.
“But this visit ain’t about that. It’s about Glacier. Her name is an exact contrast to who she is. She’s not cold. She’s not hard. She’s not made of ice. Mommas is warm. A whole hug. A shelter from the cold. Soft inside and out. She’s magic. And believe it or not, she’s mine.”
It was a privilege loving her.
“I never thought much about the day I’d tell you about a girl as a kid, ya know? But shit, I never expected to be telling you about her standing over your grave. I feel robbed. I feel shunned. I feel like I’ve been punched in the fucking gut.”
I shoved my hands in my pocket, blowing out air. It was so cold that I could see the breaths I took.
“But what can I do, right? It’s life. You’re birthed and then fucked over until you die. Right, Pops?”
A gust of wind blew past me as I felt Malachi’s arm on my shoulder.
“He gon’ smack the shit out of you again if you don’t watch your mouth when you’re talking to them, nigga.”
He was visiting his late wife, Anna. I decided to stop by the grave that I avoided until I was led back every few years. Not physically, but mentally and spiritually, when nothing would settle me except a visit.
“I’m mad enough to beat his ass after all these years. Nigga just gon’ leave us like that. Type of time they was on?”
“When you find the answer, please tell me. You ready to head back?”
“Yeah.”
He was referring to the spot we’d met and I’d hopped in the car with him.
“Bet. Milo said they’ll be pulling up soon.”
“Right on time.”
We piled into his whip with his right-hand man at the wheel. The warmth kissed me like it missed me and I wasn’t mad at that at all. Standing outside for even a few minutes had my nose feeling like it was about to fall the fuck off.
“Where you at with this situation?” Malachi asked, breathing into his hands to warm them.
“Ready to blow a gasket. Had the drop on the nigga, finally, but he disappeared inside an apartment complex and ain’t come up out of that bitch since.”
“Then go in after his ass.”
“Went in every unit until they started calling the people. I’m at the point now where I don’t give a fuck about them, either.”
“I do. We’ve got way too much on the line for you to get jammed for murder, Makai.”
“You got another solution, nigga?”
“Patience.”
“Yeah. That’s never suited me.”
“Well, make it, nigga.”
