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“Baaaaaby!” I shrieked, clinging to Makai for support.
“Shhh. Shhhhh,” he whispered, kissing me on top of my forehead.
“Mmmm. Mmm.” I hummed, feeling my muscles contract.
“Stand up, so I can finish washing you up, Mommas.”
What he was asking of me wasn’t tangible. I leaned into him, making his job harder. However, he still managed to get it done. After rinsing me off, he perched me on the bench that was a few feet away from the showerhead, but not too far from the heat that emitted from the hot water.
I placed my head on the wall behind me, reminiscing on the moment that led us to this point. During our first shower together, in his home, I washed his back and he returned the favor. However, the rag never left his hand. He cleansed me from head to toe. Every day, during our showers, it was more of the same. On occasion, he allowed me to cleanse his skin thoroughly, but his main focus was me. Always. In all ways.
After we’d both been cleansed, Makai hauled me into the bedroom wrapped in one of his plush towels. They smelled like berry fields and caressed me like a long hug.
“I never thanked you for going to dinner with me Friday, though we were supposed to have date night.”
It was something we’d agreed on a week and a half ago. Though our first date night was lost in translation and we ended up at his grandfather’s house eating with the family, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Meeting everyone was another event in our relationship that was scratched off my list.
“I enjoyed everyone. Especially all the babies.”
“They got plenty of them.”
“Quiet. There aren’t that many.”
Silence provoked me to continue, but Makai beat me to the marker.
“I have a question for you, Glacier, something I want you to answer honestly.”
“Okay,” I responded, bracing myself for impact.
To my surprise, there was no need.
“Is there anything I’m lacking?”
The sincerity in his voice lulled my heart. Makai had made it abundantly clear that he had no idea what he was doing and if he ever began doing it wrong, then I should address him. I had absolutely no reason to. He was a natural. Though he’d never been in love before, he’d been loved and he’d been loved properly. It made all the difference.
As tough as his edges were, his core was as fragile. Makai wasn’t all bad and neither was he the menace he’d been labeled as. He had a heart, a bigger one than any person I’d ever met in life. Though he didn’t open it to many, he’d opened it to me and I was grateful to have such a large chunk of him.
I left the pain of my old relationship behind me so that I could be as open and as vulnerable as our bond required. I didn’t label him the same as the other men I’d dated, because he wasn’t. Makai was special, different in every single way. Discovering new parts of him and new pieces to our puzzle each day kept me on my toes. He kept me on my toes.
Falling in love with him was unavoidable and I was almost certain I’d reached that point. The possibility crossed my mind as he patted my skin dry, waiting for me to respond.
“No, baby.”
“You for real, or you just saying shit to make a nigga feel good?” Genuinely, he needed to know. He stopped drying my body until I opened my mouth with another answer.
“I’m not. I promise. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to credit yourself for having a heart, Makai. A good one.”
“Because I’ve been heartless my whole fucking life, Kiwi.”
“Because you felt like you had to be in most circumstances. This isn’t one. When you step outside of that door, your heart shrivels again. But when you’re with me, it expands and it beats and it desires and it yearns and it—”
“Loves.”
“Ma-Makai,” I stammered, having absolutely nothing more to say. He’d left me without oxygen.
“It does.”
Nodding my head, I agreed. My eyes burned from the saltiness of my tears as they formed, the first falling too fast for me to catch.
