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I sit and look at my youngest brother and the guilt of what happened the night before we left for New York weighs heavy on me. “I’m sorry I didn’t kill him for you, kid.”
He looks up at me and wipes his eyes with the pads of his thumbs. “What? That’s not on you, Shane.”
“It is,” I swallow hard. I’ve never told Liam or Mikey this before. “The night before we left, I found him. He was at mum’s grave. He was drunk. And alone. Crying about how much he missed her.”
Liam frowns at me, but he doesn’t speak.
“I pressed a gun against his head, Liam, and all I had to do was pull the trigger, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let him die on her grave. Not after what he did to her. I couldn’t tie him to her in death too.” I feel the tear run down my own cheek and wipe it away. “But I should have dragged him out of there and put a bullet in his head for what he did to you and Mikey. I let you both down.”
Liam stares at me for what seems like a goddamn eternity. He’s always looked up to me. He’s held me on some kind of pedestal, and I can’t help but think I just knocked myself off it. “No,” he finally answers with a vigorous shake of his head. “You didn’t let us down. Not even for a second. You raised us, Shane. All of us. If it wasn’t for you, none of us would have survived at all. You could kick our asses onto the street and never speak to us again for the rest of our lives and you’d still have done more for us than any brother could ever ask. I would still owe you everything.”
“I didn’t do anything that you wouldn’t do for me,” I say dismissively, uncomfortable with the fact that he thinks he owes me anything at all. For all I have done for my brothers, they have done just as much for me.
Liam smiles at me. “You say I can’t take a compliment?”
“Well, I already know I’m awesome,” I laugh. “And I did a pretty fucking good job of raising you, didn’t I?”
Liam grins at me and I see the little kid who used to sneak into my room in the middle of the night to make sure I hadn’t left him. When I called off the wedding to Erin, she blamed my brothers. She couldn’t accept the fact that it was due to her deceit and manipulation. And while she was wrong about a lot of things, she was right about the fact that I would never leave them. Not for anyone.
Chapter
Thirty-Two
MIKEY
“You seen Liam anywhere?” I pop my head into Shane’s office as I look for my twin.
“He was in here about an hour ago,” Shane frowns. “Why? Can’t you find him?”
“No.” I shake my head as I step inside the room.
“You checked the gym?”
“Checked this whole damn apartment and the club.”
“Fuck!” Shane barks.
“What?” I frown at him.
“He was talking about mum before-”
“And the sadistic prick who we once called dad?” Mikey interrupts me.
“Yep.”
“Shit. He’ll be down by the river then. I’ll go get him.” Liam likes to go and sit by the Hudson when he’s feeling particularly melancholy. He says it reminds him of Ireland, although why he wants to be reminded of the place I’ll never know. It’s a beautiful country, but our lives there were miserable.
“You want me to come with you?” Shane offers.
“Nah.” I shake my head. “I’ll bring him back.”
“Call me if you need me,” Shane frowns.
“Yeah, I will,” I say as I turn on my heel.
“Mikey,” Shane shouts as I’m halfway out of the door.
“Yeah?” I turn back to him.
