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“No. It’s too late for pain relief now,” Brooke replies.
“I feel sick,” Mikey mumbles.
“I thought you were the one who was all prepared for this birth?” I pant as he turns a strange shade of gray.
“Fuck!” Liam breathes out as he wipes sweat from his brow.
“Yeah, I think we’re going to need a rotation,” Brooke says, turning to Conor and Shane. “I’m not sure these two are prepared for this next part. Can one of you step back in?”
“Yeah, Shane will take care of you, baby,” Liam says, kissing me softly before he and Mikey step away from the bed.
Shane walks back over to me and takes my hand in his while Conor is holding our daughter.
I cling onto him, my fingers digging into his forearm as another wave of pain sears through my body. I’m so damn tired. Every part of my body is screaming in agony.
“It hurts,” I whimper.
He brushes my sweaty hair back from my damp forehead. “I know, sweetheart,” he says softly. “All the best things do.”
I suck in a breath and close my eyes.
“But you are the toughest person in this room and you got this, Jessie.” He squeezes my hand in his. “I’m gonna be right here every second. Okay?”
“Yeah,” I gasp as another contraction almost floors me.
“It’s time to push again, Jessie,” Brooke says and I nod my understanding because to speak feels like it would take up far too much energy. A few seconds later, Conor is at my side again and I look up to see Mikey holding our daughter as Liam stares at her adoringly.
“I guess I’ll just take the next one,” Conor says with a wink.
“Fuck!” I screech as I give another huge push.
Epilogue
JESSIE
6 Months Later
It’s dark when I wake. My breasts are heavy and tender. I need to feed my babies. I can’t believe I haven’t heard them crying already. I reach out, expecting to feel one of my boys’ hard bodies, but there is nothing but cool cotton sheets.
I sit up, blinking at the clock on the nightstand. It’s nine a.m. Damn blackout blinds make me so disoriented sometimes. I switch on the bedside lamp and confirm I’m alone in the huge bed. Pulling the covers back, I climb out of bed and look at the monitor for the camera over the twins’ cribs. They are empty. The icy fingers that grip my heart are never far away. They have been there all my life and I suspect they’ll never leave.
My babies are fine though. Obviously being taken care of by their adoring daddies. The icy fingers melt away and I change out of my nursing tank top and pull on one of Liam’s soft cotton t-shirts instead.
The smell of bacon wafts from the kitchen, making me smile as I wander down the hallway. When I walk into the kitchen the sight makes me stop and stare for a few moments. The rush of pure joy I feel almost overwhelms me.
Mikey is wearing his ‘Kiss the Chef’ apron while he cooks but Conor stands beside him, holding baby Ella and the two of them are singing to her. The fact they are singing along to a hip hop song and the lyrics are entirely inappropriate doesn’t bother our daughter one tiny bit and she giggles at her daddies.
On the other side of the room, Finn is sitting on Shane’s lap while Liam feeds him some baby oatmeal. They have just started weaning and I’m relieved I’m no longer their only source of food. Not that my gorgeous husbands haven’t done their share of night feeds because I pump every day, too. The twins sleep until six a.m. now though and we’ve moved them to their own nursery. It has a camera and security system that the White House would be proud of, and for the first week they were in their own room, we all sat up half the night watching them.
“There she is,” Mikey says with a grin as he sees me.
Conor turns with Ella in his arms and waves her chubby little hand at me. “There’s your beautiful momma, baby.”
She giggles and I swear my heart is going to burst.
“Morning, sweetheart,” Shane says.
I walk to the breakfast table and sit beside him while he and Liam finish giving Finn his breakfast. Leaning down, I give our son a kiss on his plump cheek and he wipes some oatmeal on my face as a thank you, making us all laugh. “Why didn’t you all wake me? I slept so late,” I say as I wipe my face.
