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Once we were in the house, DV set me down gently. He locked the French doors that led to the backyard and drew the curtains. We were now cocooned in a cosy and warm space, just he and I. He flicked a switch to turn on a soft light.
“I want to see your face when I make you come,” he murmured, and I felt that tell-tale gush of wetness again.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had been in lust and love with this man for as long as I could remember. I had never wanted anyone else. Only him.
Because only DV could press my emotional and physical buttons and drive me wild, both with anger and desire.
He stared down at me with that familiar lopsided smile, and for once, I could give in to my impulse. I put out a finger and traced it all the way up to the little crease in his cheek. Then I leaned forward and traced it with my tongue. Before I could finish, he pulled me into his arms and took charge of the kiss. Maybe it was time to show His Bossiness who was really in charge.
I pulled away slowly and tried to steady my breathing, but it was impossible because his hands were on the straps of my swimsuit.
I put my shaking hands on his chest and backed him onto the couch. He fell back obligingly and watched me with hooded, hungry eyes as I straddled him and settled myself over his hardness. Then I held his eyes as I rubbed myself against him, practically soaking him with my wetness. DV gripped me by the hips and ground me against him harder, as he sat upright and nipped at my breast over my swimsuit. His hands snaked up my sides until he cupped my breasts with both hands, squeezing them lightly.
My breathing sped up when he pulled the straps of my swimsuit down with aching slowness as if he were unwrapping a present. When the damp fabric slid down my chest, he flicked his thumbs over my tightly beaded nipples, sending sparks racing down my body, all the way to my core. I rode him harder in response, and he bent and drew a nipple into his mouth, sucking hard. I dug my hands through his hair as he did the same for the other one, holding him in place. He reached around to squeeze my butt and my whole body was on fire for him.
I couldn’t wait to have him inside me just like I had dreamt so many times over the years.
Only, it wouldn’t be just like I had dreamt. Because in my dreams, DV always told me that he loved me just before he made love to me. And it always ended in a happy-ever-after.
Tears sprang to my eyes involuntarily as I realised that I could never have my happy-ever-after with DV. He might want me now, but it wouldn’t last, and it wasn’t a question of‘if’he walked away from me, but‘when’. And when he did, it would destroy me, body and soul.
As tempting as it was to ignore the reality that would await me and just lose myself in the moment, I had loved him too much for far too long to settle for anything less than fuckingeverything.
I blinked the stupid tears away and pushed DV’s head away from me.
CHAPTER8
DIGVIJAY
The hand that held my head in place against her breast suddenly pushed it away and I looked up in confusion.
Tasha shook her head apologetically.
“I can’t do this, DV. I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Whaa…?”
“I have to go.Right now!”
I shook my head to clear it. Surely, she didn’t mean…? It soon became apparent that she did.
Tasha scrambled off my lap and pulled her swimsuit back into place. She still wasn’t looking at me, as if she was afraid I’d force her to stay. To go through with it.
A wave of self-loathing washed over me. What the fuck was I doing?
She had tried to walk away from me earlier, and I had persuaded her to change her mind. But it was clear she didn’t want this. Not as much as I did. She had even said as much, earlier when she set out the ground rules. She had warned me that she didn’t want a relationship with me. And Tasha didn’t do casual sex. I knew that as well as I knew myself.
So, it didn’t matter if her body was willing. Physical arousal did not automatically indicate consent. When I made love to Tasha…ifI ever made love to her, she had to want it as much as I did. She had to crave me as much as I craved her. Without the slightest hesitation or second thought.
I forced myself to stay where I was, for if I moved, I couldn’t trust myself to keep my hands off her. And I forced myself to stay silent, pushing down the questions that rose to my lips. She didn’t owe me any explanation.
When she had finally wrapped her towel around herself securely, Tasha finally met my eyes.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she said raggedly.
“Like what?”
Were my feelings pasted all over my bloody face? Could she tell how raw and flayed her rejection made me feel? Because if anything, Tasha had made one thing quite clear. There was nothing on earth that could tempt her into being with me.
