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My vision’s going blurry.
“I wonder how long she’s been thinking about me. I’d always catch her looking at me, you know, whenever she came over to visit you.”
I can’t breathe.
“Every time she showed me something on her phone, she’d press her tits right up against me.”
My skin is both hot and cold, like I’m burning up in icy blue flames.
“You should have seen how quickly she got on her knees.”
I’m going to kill him. I’m going to murder him, right now —
“You should have seen how fast she spread her legs for me—”
I try to wrench my wrist from Lucas’s grip, but he doesn’t let go, so I thrash my arm around. He just pulls me closer until I can feel his body heat through my clothes. He lowers his head so he can whisper into my ear.
“Honestly, she wasn’t a great lay. I can see why you’re so frustrated all the time.”
I go still. My voice is a rasp. “…What?”
He pulls his head back so he can look into my eyes and laughs softly. “Oh, Charlie. Did you think I wouldn’t notice all of your toys?”
All the air has been knocked out of my chest. It’s as if I’ve been shoved off a ledge and landed hard enough to crack concrete.
Lucas continues, because he has to, because it’s his job to push and push and make me feel worse and worse. “Come on. You play with yourself every night. Sometimes multiple times a night. The walls are thin. Even with the shower running…”
His pupils are black and large, swallowing light like a blackhole. I rip myself from his grip, and this time he allows it, watching as I stumble backwards. I might die from mortification if I don’t die from fury first.
“Shut…” I take a deep breath. “Shut the fuck up.” I grab the edge of his desk behind me for balance, then point at him. “You had sex with my girlfriend. Who the hell does that?”
“She was the one who—”
“Shut up!” I roar. “I can’t believe you. I…I always knew that you were an asshole. And I know you think I’m a loser, and uncool, and a nuisance, but we were still friends, once upon a time, and you had sex with my girlfriend. You fucking had sex with her! What kind of friend does that?” I’m shouting by the end. It’s the first time I’ve ever lost my temper like this, the first time I’ve raised my voice since moving into this apartment. We have neighbours on every side of us, I know that, and yet I can’t help it.
Lucas just looks at me.
“Clearly, you were never my friend,” I continue, managing to speak at a normal volume. “We haven’t been since primary school. But even so, what kind of person does that? You knew we were in a relationship, so you can’t pretend you didn’t know. You…you still…”
I can’t bring myself to say the word “fucked.” It’s too vulgar a word to describe what they did together. It connotes raw, animalistic carnality. It conjures up explicit, rough acts.
“You still slept with her,” I finish helplessly. Something burns against my cheeks, and a moment later, I realise it’s hot tears streaking down my face. Quickly, I wipe them away with my arm. I can’t believe this is happening. I’m crying in front of Lucas. I promised myself never again, and here I am.
When I make myself meet his eyes again, all the amusement has left his expression.
“I just wanted you to see her true nature,” he says.
I shake my head, my eyes still wet. Why won’t the tears stop? “Don’t,” I say, my voice clogged.
Lucas takes a step forward. “I wanted to prove she doesn’t deserve you.”
“Don’t,” I repeat. “Don’t make excuses.”
He takes another step. “To prove she isn’t loyal.”
I wipe my face again. My shirt is getting damp. “Don’t come closer,” I warn him.
He ignores me, taking another step. “You deserve someone better, Charlie. Someone who only wants you. Someone,” — another step — “who only loves you.”
