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"Don't mind me Chloe. I am having fun watching you and dad," I said.
"You'd be a good mommy," she said.
I thought I heard wrong.
"Chloe, what did you…"
"Why are you two slow? There are hamsters here," Ben called out to us.
Chloe let go of my hand and raced to her dad. She was just being a kid right? There was no way she was talking about me being a good mom for her, did she? Chloe and I petted the baby animals. There were ducklings, bunnies, kittens and hamsters. Ben looked like he wanted to pet them as well but did nothing.
"Why aren't you petting any of them?" I asked as I showed him the duckling in my palm.
"I'm fine just watching," he lied as he stared at me with obvious envy.
I took a good look at him. Ben wasn't just the oldest of his brothers, but he had the biggest build and muscle.
Wait… it couldn't be.
"By chance are you afraid that you'll crush them?" I asked.
He didn't even try to deny it, and he just nodded. The giant doctor who has handled delicate organs of different individuals during emergency surgery was scared he'd crush an animal?
I chuckled and asked him to open his hands. He obeyed. I placed the duck in his hands and gently closed it to make sure it didn't fall out, but he had enough room to stroke its back. As he touched the duckling, it was like he reverted to being a child again.
"Daddy, let's exchange," Chloe said as she handed him a hamster and took the duckling.
The both of them continued petting the animals longer than I expected, but I didn't mind.
Time flew by; and as the evening approached, we made our way back to our picnic spot. Chloe was starting to tire, but she didn't want the day to end just yet. So, Ben and I decided to surprise her with one last treat - an ice cream cone from a nearby vendor. Her eyes widened in delight, and her smile grew even wider.
With ice cream in hand, we found a spot to sit and watch the sun slowly set on the horizon. The sky turned into a canvas of colors; and as the stars began to twinkle, we held each other close. The park was now quiet, with just the sound of crickets and our laughter breaking the serene atmosphere.
As the day drew to a close, I realized how much love had grown in my heart for both Ben and Chloe. But I couldn't help wondering if this new feelings of love was pushing away the love I once had for my daughter. Chloe had fallen asleep so Ben had to carry her to the car, while I packed up our picnic items.
After loading everything in the car we started to make our way home. I kept turning to look at Chloe, who was asleep, strapped in her seat.
"I haven't seen her have this much fun in a while," Ben said. "You really did enough for both of us today. Thank you, Olivia."
"It's no problem. I'm just glad you two had fun," I said. "I even got to see a new childish side to you. I think Ethan shows his childishness properly, but you and Ian seem to enjoy hiding it."
"It can be inconvenient sometimes," he said. "And make sure you forget everything you've learned about me today."
"Right. I'll try to forget," I said as I brought out my phone and looked through some of the pictures I had taken of our outing.
I continued scrolling through, smiling at the new memories. I stopped at a picture I had taken of Chloe licking her ice cream. I exited the folder and went to my special one to take a look at Sophia with her school backpack.
"Now that Chloe is asleep," Ben said as he stopped the car and parked properly. "You want to tell me what's been on your mind all day?"
I showed him the picture on my phone, "That's my Sophia."
"If you didn't tell me, I'd mistake her for… Chloe… oh." He turned and looked at me as he realized the source of my despair. "It must have been so hard today. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. I actually had a lot of fun today," I said, "it's just… at first I thought that I was using Chloe as a replacement for Sophia. Then, it felt like I was betraying her by celebrating another child's birthday when she didn't get to live that long. And now… I feel like I'm forgetting all about her."
He was quiet, then let out a sigh and leaned back into his chair.
"I'm sorry, I don't know if I'm making any sense," I said.
