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"You actually are. I can tell because I've also had the same thoughts today," he said. "When I came down and found you preparing for the picnic…or when you presented the birthday gift to Chloe. Even when I ate your tasty sandwiches, I kept wondering how Selina would feel about this. Truth is, my siblings and my mother have been trying to get me married for the reason that Chloe needs a mother figure. But it's easier said than done. Chloe doesn't like a lot of people."
He paused. "But now she has someone she likes. I'm sure she won't feel any guilt, no matter the light she views you in, because she doesn't even know who her mom is. But as for me… I'm a little worried about how little I've been thinking of Selina lately."
He looked down about it after he was done talking.
"Are we bad people?" I asked. "Forgetting about the past people we've loved, replacing them with someone else?"
"I don't think so," he replied, "I think they would have wanted us to move on. Plus, it's not really possible to forget entirely about them." He paused and turned to look at Chloe. "We'll always have something that will remind us of them."
"I guess you're right," I agreed, feeling a lot better.
It was okay if Chloe reminded me of Sophia. It was okay to miss her too. I was never going to forget her.
Chapter seventeen
Maybe, I'm Just Unlucky After All
Ben
I thought a lot about what Olivia had told me the previous day. It was true that I hardly thought about Selina ever since Olivia revealed her past. I had completed the process of falling in love with her to completely being in love with her.
Watching my daughter and her bond…. even how she took care of us like we were her kids. I was occupied with thinking about how much of a fit she would be if she were to become Chloe's mother. I was worried if that was the right thing to do.
Finding a new mother for Chloe always sounded like I disrespected Selina's death, and that was another reason I steeled myself to turn down advances of women who showed or indicated interest in me.
All but Olivia. She didn't sleep in my room that night, and I didn't ask her too. She needed time to fully process what was going on. And I needed to do the same as well. I picked up a photograph of Selina and I together. She was beaming with a smile.
"Have I visited your grave recently?" I asked as I touched her face. "I have been busy recently."
I made a mental note to visit her grave along with Chloe and… Olivia.
"Selina, I'm not betraying you," I said. "I know you would want Chloe, and I to have the best of things life has to offer. Well, life has offered one of the bests. I didn't know what else to say except that I have fallen in love with her."
Rather than the crushing weight of guilt I was expecting, I felt relieved all of a sudden.
To think all I needed to do was talk to her about it. With Olivia's departure still uncertain, I decided to tell her how I felt and convince her to stay in Richmond.
My phone started to ring. Ethan was calling. "Hey, what's up?" I answered.
"Wow, you sound chirpier than normal," he chuckled. "I guess you're really enjoying the transfer program."
"Did Ian say anything?" I asked.
"No, but I guess I'm the only one left out this time," he answered. "What do you think about her?"
"Well she's a good person, Chloe loves her too," I replied.
"Too?" I could visualize him grinning on the other end.
"What do you want Ethan?" I decided to change the topic before her got any more annoying.
"I missed my precious niece's birthday, so wanted you to pick it up, or I'll drop it off," he replied. "I'll be dropping by your office to finish things up."
"Finish things up?" I asked.
"Huh? Didn't… never mind then," he sighed. "I'll see you at your place."
He hung up.
