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“All of this is a moot point if Lucas’s attorney can’t prove his innocence. It won’t matter if I end up working in Portland or that I can’t have babies or that I had a hysterectomy. If he’s found guilty, we won’t be together other than for permitted prison visits.”
“If he isn’t found innocent, what are you planning to do?”
“Be there for him.” I don’t even hesitate before saying it. “I believe in Lucas. I know he had nothing to do with the narcotics. And I plan to wait for him to be released if it comes to that.”
I refuse to walk away from the man I love because the justice system let him down.
The waiter pauses at our table, and we order another round of martinis.
“Is that what he wants?” Avery asks after the waiter leaves. “Does Lucas want you to wait around if he’s found guilty?”
“We haven’t really discussed it. Not lately, anyway. The original agreement was I could divorce him if it came to that.”
“But you have no intention of divorcing him.”
It’s not a question, but I respond as if it were. “That’s right.”
A smile flickers on her face. Then it vanishes. “Does he even know about the accident?”
“I’ve told him pieces about it, but I haven’t told him everything.”
“I get that you don’t want to tell him all the details, but you should mention that you can’t have babies. Then you can look into other options if you two decide to adopt.”
“I will. But I want to wait a little longer. I’ll tell him next week.” After the anniversary.
“Promise me you’ll talk to him and tell him the full story about the accident. I’m no therapist, but I suspect it will go a long way in helping you move on.”
“I will.”
She nods, satisfied I’m telling the truth, but concern still lingers on her face, in her eyes. “Perhaps you should stay here until he returns from the rescue mission. And then you won’t be alone.”
“I’ll be fine. Maybe the grief won’t be as bad this year.” Even as the words slip out, I know it’s wishful thinking. Things haven’t been fine for the past week. Just the opposite. Even visiting Lily’s grave before coming here wasn’t enough to lessen what I know is coming.
If Avery’s expression is any indication, she doesn’t believe me any more than I do.
“Okay, but if you need someone to talk to, call me and I’ll do what I can to talk you through it. It won’t be the same as me being there, but it will hopefully be better than nothing. But promise me you’ll talk to Lucas once he returns from being a badass superhero.”
I grin. “I’m glad you’re finally warming up to him.”
The waiter stops by our table to deliver our next martinis.
Avery waves me off. “I’ll warm up to any sexy superhero in uniform.” She picks up her martini and raises her glass in a toast. “To sexy superheroes in uniform.”
I laugh and raise my glass.
42
Lucas
I sit on the dirt and lean back against the rough bark of the tree. A crow caws from a branch above my head. I don’t have the energy to glance up and check its exact location.
Clouds the color of a fresh bruise converge and glower in the near distance. The search party has an hour—two tops—before we’ll be facing a deluge.
The endless forest terrain surrounds my team and me, bringing with it the sounds and smells that typically ground me. Usually, I view the mountain as my best friend. Now, it feels more like the enemy.
“Where the fuck could he have gone?” I gulp down some black coffee from my thermos. I’ve consumed enough coffee over the past four days that caffeine is now the only thing pumping through my blood vessels.
My team is on a break after we spent the morning combing our assigned territory. There hasn’t been a single sighting or clue of the boy’s whereabouts since he was reported missing.
