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“Change of plan,” Kellan says matter-of-factly, pulling my attention back to him. His expression is neutral, an unreadable stone tablet. “We’re going to the lake to talk.”
“Why-why do we need to talk at the lake?”
“You’ll see.” His expression doesn’t change. There’s a hardness in it I haven’t seen before. Kellan doesn’t smile as much as his brothers. That much I’ve noticed in the short time I’ve known him.
Trust doesn’t come easily for me. And even then, I don’t fully trust Troy. I can’t. Not now. Not ever.
With Kellan, I’m not sure if I should be terrified of him or give him the benefit of the doubt.
“Breathe, Jess. I’m not going to hurt you. But I do think you and I need to talk. I have a feeling I understand you better than you realize.”
I only wish that were the truth. But no one can understand me. I barely can myself.
“Okay.” The word is cracked but determined not to falter. It pushes past the tightness in my throat.
We don’t talk as we head to his SUV, which is parked on a side street not far from the library. An effortless silence falls on us, welcome and far from constricting.
He opens the passenger door to his SUV. I encourage Bailey onto the front seat so she’s sitting between my legs. She hasn’t had a lot of experience being in a vehicle, other than Troy’s truck, so this is good training for her.
Kellan doesn’t drive to the beach where I first met Troy. He pulls into another lake entrance a little closer to town. The small gravel parking lot is empty, and there are more trees around the grassy bank than at the beach.
Kellan leads Bailey and me along the dirt path to the water. Sunlight shines between the tree leaves, painting dappled shadows on the ground.
“It’s so peaceful here.” Awe shimmers over my whispered words. The mountain range to the left beckons me to explore it, to escape my reality for a few hours.
Several ducks are paddling in the water near where we’re standing. Bailey barks at them. They quack in reply and take off flying. She barks at them once more and looks back at me, her expression playfully hopeful.
I smile at her, even though the panic from earlier churns in my stomach. “Sorry, girl. I don’t think they were interested in playing with you.” I turn to Kellan, and my nerves dial up a notch. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”
His gaze is directed out at the water. “I want to make it clear first that whatever you and I talk about will remain between us.” His voice is deep and low, warm and gruff. And something else is woven into it. Disappointment? Sadness? Maybe even frustration? “I know you have no reason to trust me, Jess. Hell, you don’t fully trust Troy, and you two are friends.” Kellan finally glances at me. “Well, closer friends than you and I are.”
“True.”Where’s this going?
He returns to staring at the lake. “What exactly have you heard about me?”
Okay, that was the last thing I expected him to ask. “That you’re Troy’s and Garrett’s and Lucas’s brother.”
“What else?”
I give an exaggerated shrug. “Um, nothing really. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly a social butterfly. I work in the kitchen at Picnic and Treats, which means I get to avoid the customers. Zara, Keshia, and I talk, but not about you or your brothers.”
“They aren’t my biological brothers. Did you know that?”
“Troy mentioned it. But he didn’t say much about it.” I hurriedly add the last part so Kellan doesn’t think I’ve been prying into his life.
He nods as if he expected that much. “I have no idea who my asshole father is, and my mother was more interested in her drugs than her son. She died of an overdose when I was six. I was already friends with Garrett at the time, but even after his parents adopted me, I never felt like I truly belonged.
“After college, I served one rotation with the Marines. I became restless. Hooked up with the wrong woman, hacked into a company’s computer system for her, and ended up serving three years in the slammer.”
Kellan turns to face me, his gaze probing. I take a half step back, ready to build my wall higher.
“I was locked away long enough to recognize a former inmate when I see one.” His words are the lightning bolt that spears my chest.
Shit. Shit. Shit.Kellan’s going to tell everyone who I really am. That I’m a fraud. Someone to be disdained. I’ll lose everything I’ve gained so far. A place to live. Friends. A job.
My body stiffens, and I sink to the grass. Grief and an overwhelming loneliness steal my breath. I hug my bent knees, trying to hide my trembling. But otherwise, my body remains rigid, more bricks adding to my wall.
Bailey lies down next to me, her body blurry through my tears.
