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Kellan lowers himself to the grass, giving me enough space so I don’t feel threatened. Or maybe that’s the first step in separating me from his family and friends.
“I’m not going to tell anyone,” he says gently. “I know you have no reason to trust me, Jess. And if what I suspect is true, I know trust won’t come easily for you. Something happened to you in prison, didn’t it? Is that where the PTSD comes from?”
I nod, even though that’s not entirely true. Robyn believes the complex PTSD is the result of years of abuse, both at my husband’s hands and the inmates who attacked me.
Kellan doesn’t ask what crime I was found guilty of. He watches the ducks who have returned to the lake, but at a safer distance from Bailey this time.
“What happened to the woman you hacked the computer system for?” I ask. A speedboat cuts across the water, the distant buzz of the engine the only sound to remind us we aren’t alone in the world.
“Don’t have a clue. Don’t really care, either. She got some fancy-ass lawyer, and the entire crime was pinned on me.”
Damn. I feel sorry for the woman who falls in love with Kellan. After what he’s gone through, I can’t imagine she’ll have much of a chance with him. “I guess I’m not the only one with trust issues when it comes to the opposite gender.”
“You committed a crime because of a man?” Surprise colors his tone, but at the same time he doesn’t seem overly shocked. A contradiction, just like him in many ways.
A dry laugh crosses my lips, bitterness its bedfellow. “That’s the irony. I didn’t commit the crime. Someone else did. By the time the justice system figured out their mistake, I’d already served five years of my twenty-five-year sentence.”
“Christ,” Kellan mutters under his breath. “How long have you been out for?”
I tug a blade of grass free and twirl it around my finger. “Two months.”
“Fuck. No wonder you reacted the way you did when you saw the cop car. And that’s why you keep avoiding Game Night when Noah and Avery are there, isn’t it? Because Noah’s a cop? And you don’t trust cops.”
I suck in a shaky breath, nod, and unwrap the blade of grass from my finger, unwilling to spill the rest of my secret. Kellan only needs to know as much as he has guessed for himself.
“You were attacked while serving time, weren’t you?”
I nod again, and Kellan curses some more under his breath.
“What happened?” The two words contain so much pain and anger, I wonder if Kellan has figured things out for himself.
“I was attacked numerous times while I was in prison. That’s where the scars on my face come from. It was a reminder. Befriend me, and you’ll suffer the same fate or worse.” I’ve already told Robyn all of this, but it feels more cathartic telling Kellan. He understands it better. Given the nature of his crime, he wouldn’t have been locked away with dangerous offenders like I was, but he’d still get it.
“Did it work? The warning?” he asks.
I toss the blade of grass to the side and nod. “I had a friend in the beginning, but she quickly abandoned me when she figured it wasn’t safe to be my friend. She was attacked. So I spent pretty much my entire time there without anyone on my side.”
Kellan reaches across the distance between us and squeezes my hand. At one time I would have yanked my hand away, afraid to let anyone touch me. Which is why I recognize how difficult that simple gesture is for Kellan. His past has scarred him much like mine has done to me. Troy’s the type of guy who will give someone a friendly pat on the back. Kellan isn’t.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Jess. Have you told Troy any of it?”
“No, and I don’t plan to tell him or anyone else.” The words come out in rapid fire, cold with panic and fear. I warm them up for the next part. “And I hope you keep your promise, Kellan, and do the same. I’m trying to start my life over. New town. New and improved me.”
“Jessica.” Kellan slowly sounds out my name as if it’s fruit that doesn’t taste quite right. “That isn’t your real name, is it?”
“No. And I’m not a natural blond. I needed to get away because I knew the media wouldn’t stop hounding me after I was released.”
Kellan nods as if that makes sense. “How many people know you’re here? The people who know who you really are?”
“Three.” Florence, Craig, and Grace. “The person who knows Anne Carstairs told her I was recovering from a traumatic event and needed a place to stay for a few months while I recovered. But Anne has no idea I’m an ex-con.” I shrink in on myself atex-con, the weight of the word making it hard to breathe.
“I’d hardly call you an ex-con. Not when you were innocent of the crime.” The force of Kellan’s words is stronger than a Category 4 hurricane. “You’re an exoneree.”
“But will anyone else see it that way if they find out the truth? I was in a maximum-security penitentiary. No one will believe that it didn’t change me for the worse.”
“It’s impossible to go through what you did and not be changed in one way or another. But it didn’t change you for the worse, Jess.” His gaze lowers to Bailey. “So, no one else knows you’re here?”
“Not unless the bank released the information. I was dropped off at a bus station the day after I was discharged from the prison hospital. And I made my way here. I don’t think anyone has recognized me.” I’m sure the entire town would know by now who I am if anyone had.
