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‘So you have Dancer and the gang?’
‘Fuck no! They died centuries ago. These are relatives I think. I try not to have too much to do with them, to be honest. We don’t get on.’
‘Santa doesn't get on with his reindeer! I wish I was writing this stuff down.’
‘It’s not funny. They say you should never work with children and animals. I’m screwed from the start. The kids aren’t so bad, but the reindeer...’ He grimaces at the thought of the vile creatures. ‘Let’s just say we don’t see eye to eye. They should have stayed with me. Instead, I get thrown from the sleigh or whatever happened, and they just fuck off and leave me. If I ever get back, I’ll kick their asses. Not literally,’ he adds when he notices the look on her face. ‘Probably not.’
‘And you’re wondering why they left you behind?’
‘Oh ha ha.’
‘Seriously, you’re genuinely stuck?’
‘Genuinely. I need the sleigh to get around or, worse case, one of the team to find me and bring me back. We all have different ways of getting around. I drew the short straw with the reindeer.’
‘Right. That’s all going to take time to process. Can you not wish yourself home?’
‘No. It doesn’t work like that. I can only grant Christmas wishes for others - not myself. My magic is at its strongest on Christmas Eve night so I can do the run. I’m hoping if I wait until then, maybe they’ll be able to pick up on me. It’s all I can think of.’
‘Can I wish you home?’
‘Unfortunately no.’
‘Oh God...’
‘What is it?’
Scarlett suddenly gets to her feet, her mouth open and a strange expression on her face. ‘Oh my God! I had sex with Santa. I mean, oh God! We had sex!’
‘Yes. We had hot, sweaty, very amazing, sex. And I licked you out.’
‘Santa licked me out on my counter!’
‘And in your bed,’ he adds but she’s not listening to him. Nick slouches back in the chair, smiling as she completely freaks out. About time. He thought she’d freak out about some aspect of who he is sooner or later. Bringing up that she had sex with Santa, wasn’t what he thought she’d go to first, but it’s not like there are rules when it comes to something like this.
‘Oh this is bad. Really bad.’
‘Care to tell me why?’
‘Were you not listening? Santa, Nick. You’re freaking Santa! I’m going to hell. Oh I am so going to hell!’
He laughs, then stops himself. She’s seriously freaking out. ‘No hell for having sex with me. I promise.’
‘How are you so relaxed? How can you just sit there like nothing’s happened?’
He pushes to his feet and slowly walks over to her. Nick captures her chin in his hand, tilting her head back. ‘Breathe.’
She takes a long breath.
‘I’m the same person I was before.’
‘You’re Santa Claus.’
‘Yeah, but it’s just a job.’
‘Is it? You brought all this out of my head, Nick,’ she says, gesturing at the room full of Christmas decorations. ‘That’s more than just a job. It’s magic! And you’re Santa! And you work with the Boogeyman! This is big. I mean huge. And now I’m freaking out!’
‘Look at me.’ His commanding tone does the trick.
