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However, the longer I spent time with Tor, the more I saw his soft side, the one so easy to miss due to his silence. He’d gotten me sugar-free treats to ensure I could safely enjoy them. He’d run me this bath, gotten these items to make me comfortable.
He was kind in a way that showed he cared for others, which meant the idea of him taking care of a younger sister didn’t seem so far-fetched anymore.
“What’s she like?”
He sighed, his shoulders drooping. It took him so long to move, I suspected he wouldn’t respond. When he did, he wrote his response smaller. Did he expect to write a lot, or did he just want to make the words as little as possible, like that made them less painful?She’s dead. When she was twenty, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. There was a drive-by, and she just happened to be in the way.
The letters were less neat than they’d been before. In fact, they were shaky, as though his hand had trembled as he’d written them.
I sat up, not caring about the water level, and set my hand over his where he’d frozen, the crayon still against the tile. “I’m sorry,” I told him, wishing I had something more to say than that.
I remembered after my mom had died, how many people had told me they were sorry. They’d filed in to give their condolences to my father and me, but they’d all been empty. The people didn’tdoanything but say pointless words that had changed nothing.
Which was why that sorry tasted like ash on my tongue.
He pulled his hand away and grabbed the rag again, clearing the writing. I didn’t lean back again as he wrote.
It’s why I’m so against collateral damage. Losing someone is terrible, but pointless death bothers me. There is this emptiness when someone dies for no reason at all.
“And that’s why you’re after Lorien.”
He nodded.He killed and maimed so many people, and for what? All those deaths were for no reason at all. It is unforgivable.He sighed, appearing more worn out than I’d seen before.I know doing this won’t clear my debt when it comes to the blood on my hands, but it will even some of that score.
I’d known what Tor did, that he killed, that he’d taken countless lives, but I’d rarely heard that from him. It was strange, because I’d never seen such hesitation with Colton. He killed for a living as well, but he’d never seen himself as bad because of it.
It made me wonder how Tor had gotten into that line of work. He seemed far too kind.
However, I got the sense that question wouldn’t get answered, that it would only sour our conversation, so I let it go.
He cleared his throat, the sound awkward and drawing my attention to him. He stared, and when I dropped my gaze, I realized why.
I’d sat up again, which meant the water no longer covered my breasts. The air in the room wasn’t cold, but compared to the hot water, my nipples had reacted and tightened to stiff points.
Or maybe that’s because he’s staring.
My heart pounded against my rib cage, so loud I worried he’d hear it, that he’d know just how he affected me, just how much I wanted to cross that line.
With so much against us…who knew how much time I had left? Whether that ended with success or failure or death or capture, no future I’d envisioned included a happily ever after with him. It meant that I wanted to feel…whatever this was, whatever it could be.
Tor jerked his gaze away, his breathing rougher than it had been before. At least that proved he was interested in my breasts, if nothing else. It also showed that a bit of ogling was all he’d offer me.
Instead of complaining—what was the point in that?—I leaned back and closed my eyes, letting the heat do its job and relax me. Before I knew it, I’d fallen asleep.
Tor
She’s way too vulnerable.The thought had struck me so many times since meeting Kenz.
She wasn’t stupid, not in the least. In fact, each time I learned more about her, I recognized just how smart she truly was. She didn’t leave herself open because she didn’t know the dangers, but because she was brave enough to trust those around her.
It struck me as strange, and each time I witnessed it, an unease inside me grew.
Did she just not view me as a man with needs? That happened, at times, because of my inability to speak. People treated me like a child, as though a lack of speech made me less of an adult.
Was that why she felt comfortable enough around me to fall asleep while completely naked?
What if I were someone else? My hand clenched at the idea of what another man might do in this situation. A picture in my head showed some faceless figure touching her, using the advantage to take what they wanted.
I let out a tortured sigh as I pushed away the thought. Nothing good would come of thinking about things that hadn’t happened.
