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She hesitated for so long that I risked looking at her.Bad choice.She looked so innocent there, kneeling on the bed, wrapped in a white towel, a flush still on her cheeks. Just looking at her reminded me of the soft curves of her body, of how wet her finger had looked as she’d pumped it into herself.What made it worse—or hell, maybe better?—was that vulnerability she had, the way she stared at me with so much trust.
“So you’re telling me youareattracted to me?” Her question made her look vulnerable, and it was because of that honesty of hers. She wasn’t fishing for compliments, but rather asking because she couldn’t quite believe it.
“Only an idiot wouldn’t be,” I answered.
“So why do you keep turning me down?”
“I already explained that to you. You’re—”
“Don’t call me young again!” Her voice rose that time, as though she’d had more than enough of my bull.
I can’t blame her for that, can I?Still, the spark of temper made me fight a smile. It probably wouldn’t go well to tell her I found her adorable when she was angry, right? Even I wasn’t stupid enough around women to do something like that.
Instead of saying anything back—I had a feeling that no matter what I tried, I’d get it wrong—I stayed quiet to give her the space to voice her feelings.
“You know my past now, know what I’ve gone through. I am not some kid who was so sheltered I don’t know anything about life. I don’t need you to make choices for me because you don’t think I can make them myself.”
“I know you’re smart, Kenz, and that you’re tough.”
“Then trust that I know my own mind. Stop treating me like I can’t run my own life, the wayeveryonetreats me.”
“You’re just confused.”
“I’m not confused—I’m horny!”
Andjust like that, any argument I had went straight out of my head. I thought back to the women I’d slept with over the years, mostly casual relationships that never got serious, andnoneof them would have dared say something so honest. No, even if they wanted to seduce me, they played coy, they teased, they liked the chase.
So Kenz managed to completely disarm me by coming right out and telling me the truth, no matter how embarrassing it must have been.
Judging from the red on her cheeks, she found itveryembarrassing.
But she wasn’t done yet, because she kept going. “I’m an adult whether you want to recognize it or not. I have the same exact biological urges as any other adult, the same wants, the same needs. Stop looking at me like I’m an innocent kid, because I’m not. I’m a woman, and you all have jerked me around for weeks now. You tell me to be careful about whatIwear but what about you? You walk around without a shirt not giving a damn about how I feel! So you know what, yes, I realized you—none of you—were going to man up and do anything so I had to take care of myself.”
She finished her tirade with a frustrated huff, as though she were so over me.
Her words, though, they stuck with me. I’d worked so hard at ignoring her, at trying not to see her that way, that I hadn’t ever really thought she’d seemethat way.
Sure, she’d said she loved us, but I’d taken that as some innocent schoolgirl crush. I figured she had some idea in her head about a white dress and a picket fence and a life that I couldn’t give her—that none of us could.
Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought that she’d want me in a more carnal way. It should have concerned me, but instead?
I wanted to stand taller, to puff my chest out like an idiot. The idea that this girl who could have about anyone thinking of me like that? Whatever hope I’d had of staying detached disappeared.
She swallowed hard, and a fire in her eyes said she’d noticed that I hadn’t spoken or left yet. “I know how dangerous all this is. I know better than most how quickly life can change, how fast everything can get snatched away. I’m not sitting here looking for forever—I know none of us can promise that.”
“So what are you asking for?”
“Just be honest and trust that I’m honest, too. If I want something, don’t assume I don’t understand. If you don’t want me, fine, tell me that, but don’t tell me it’s all for my own good.”
I stepped forward, a shard of glass cracking beneath my boot, forgotten in the heat of the moment. I’d have to clean it up later, but for now? It didn’t matter at all. I stopped at the foot of the bed, then caught her chin and lifted her face until she looked at me.
Staring down at her like this made my heart beat recklessly fast, made me feel dizzy and powerful and out of control all at once. Her eyes were dark and large and so trusting.
“You scare the hell out of me, Kenz. You feel like a trap, like everything I want all at once, but at the worst possible time. I keep thinking you have to be a test for me, some divine punishment where the universe puts what I want most in front of me knowing I can’t possibly have it. When I opened that door and saw you? When I heard you say my name? It was like the universe was laughing at me.”
The pink of her tongue flashed as she licked her bottom lip, the action even sexier because I knew she didn’t do it to tease me. No, Kenz didn’t have that in her. “The only reason you think you can’t have me is because of what’s in your head. I’m not an idiot—I know my age and I know yours and I’m still here, aren’t I? Show me the respect I deserve by not thinking you know my mind better than I do.”
I bent down and pressed my forehead against hers, her tempting lips so close I could have claimed them in a kiss. She would have let me, too.
