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“I risked my life for a lot of people over the years,” I said softly. “I don’t regret any of it. I’m proud of how many people I’ve helped, and each scar on me is like a reminder that I protected someone. The thing was, I didn’t have anything back then, anything worth coming back to. I didn’t see my life as worth anything more. Now, though? I’ve got something with it. I think about leaving Kenz, and I just couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t put her through that. I don’t want to miss out on the years I’ve got with her. It means I’m not really fit to do protection work anymore, and you know what? I’m okay with that.”
Laurie said nothing at first, the silence stretching out. Then again, I’d worked with her for so long that few people knew me better than she did. After that pause, she chuckled softly, the sound warm. “Yeah, I get it. Okay then, I’ll take care of things here.”
The door to my office opened, and Kenz came in like a whirlwind, items clutched in her arms, her voice already mid-sentence. “Since I doubt you’ve eaten lunch, I brought a picnic!”
Laurie’s laugh grew louder over the phone. “You go take care of your girl. I’ll hold down the fort here. God knows you deserve any happiness you can get.” She hung up, not waiting for my goodbye.
Kenz froze when she actually looked at me. She lowered her voice so it was barely above a whisper. “Are you on a call? I’m so sorry! I’ll come back later.”
“It’s fine,” I assured her. “It was just Laurie and I’m already done. Besides, some lunch would be great.”
The hesitation on her innocent face disappeared, and again she flashed me that bright smile that made getting up every day worth it. Damn, some of the time I was reminded how different my life was now, and I couldn’t stop myself from wondering just how I’d lucked out.
I had countless scars on my body that could have killed me, ones I’d happily taken, but ones that had nearly kept me from this—from meeting her. It made me recognize something had to have been looking out for me, protecting me so I could get here.
Kenz came into the room and placed the picnic basket on the desk, beside my keyboard. The fact she’d not only gotten lunch for me but gone through the trouble to pack it like this made me chuckle.
I grasped her hips and pulled her closer, so she sat in my lap.
Her cheeks flushed but she ignored it, didn’t try to get away. No, not Kenz, she wasn’t the type to try to escape. Instead, she leaned forward and opened the lid of the picnic basket and pulled out the items inside.
The action caused her ass to grind against my lap and I was reminded of one of the benefits of having a home office…
“I picked up those canned coffees you like and made sandwiches!” Each thing she took out proved how well she knew me and just how much she paid attention. The sandwich had no lettuce on it, and the coffee was made with milk but no sugar.
I really can’t ever deserve her.
I pressed a kiss to her shoulder, the skin bared from her tank top. Salt clung to my lips, a sign of the heat that had grown as we’d moved into summer.
She shivered, always so responsive, but then froze. The way she went still made me stop, worried I’d somehow crossed a line. She was usually up for about anything, but given how young and inexperienced she still was, I always made certain to never push her.
I moved back to see where she looked, then cursed myself.
“That’s nothing,” I said, reaching out to hide the item.
Kenz moved faster, though, snatching the picture before I could flip it down. She stared at the picture of the two of us, and the uneasiness inside me grew.
While I adored the picture, even I understood how lame it appeared.
Kenz was significantly younger than I was, smiling and sweet and with so much life ahead of her. Me, on the other hand? My hair had started to gray at the temples, and I’d taken as much life as I’d protected over the years. I was jaded and my back ached when I woke up in the mornings and it was so difficult to see her beside me.
So I wondered for a moment if the picture was the last straw. Would she see it and realize how different we were? Would it be the end?
Kenz dragged a finger over the picture, then turned her face slightly, a bright smile over her pink lips. “I didn’t know you printed this out. Can you get another one for me?”
I frowned. “Vance said kids your age don’t print out pictures.”
She shrugged. “Not as often, but I like this picture. It was so hard to get you to take one with me like this, so it’s important to me. I want one in my room, too.”
And just like that, I knew I was helpless against her. It didn’t matter if I feared our future, if I was worried about our differences, I couldn’t ever make that matter, not against her. She won against me, always. Her sweet smile and her strength and her kindness, it took me down each time.
So I caught her chin and kissed her, deeply, pulling her against me more.
“But, the food,” she complained softly but didn’t push me away, didn’t stop me.
“Later,” I promised her. “First? There’s something I want far more.” I reached down her front, to the button of her slacks, then paused to give her the chance to tell me no.
Except, like always, Kenz didn’t reject me. Even if she should have, even if she could do better, she twisted and kissed me back, giving herself up the same way she always did.
