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Licking my lips, hurt by her belief that I didn't know what a family was, I kept my mind on gaining information. "Not even for the chance to have your own children?"
"Not for me, no." Turning on her heel, Hymn entered the corridor. Following her to the elevator, we waited. When the lift arrived, we stepped in, and Hymn pressed the ground floor button.
Hymn side-glanced me. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea. The majority of the pack are happy for you. Both, that you found each other, and that you escaped what was happening to you."
"Some just would have preferred I not be a full-blood?"
"They envy him. He's virile, strong, and the Goddess has shown him favoritism. But there is a difference between envy and jealousy. Envy is a longing for someone else's good fortunes. Jealousy is far more nefarious."
"Howard is jealous."
Hymn nodded. "That was the case long before you arrived, but you became the jewel in our Alpha's crown. Dad's been a great alpha, I'm happy for him to stay my Alpha until he dies. Howard was angry when Jeremy got made beta over him, and then Bob delta. That's when he started on the drugs all those years ago. He's never felt good enough."
"That's because he isn't."
Turning to face me, Hymn gawped at me. "Wow, that was bitchy."
"It's the truth."
"Yeah, I know. I just didn't expect you to say it out loud." Hymn smirked. "Get a girl laid and look what happens."
Cheeks hot, I averted my gaze as the elevator doors slid open.
Hymn laughed as we exited into the lobby. "I need some serious coffee. This morning has been way too intense."
Directing me to her favorite coffee shop, I couldn't agree with her more. Now, I had a better understanding of why Howard didn't like me, and the political underpinnings of a pack. I also knew how Malcolm discovered I lived and was somewhat relieved it wasn't a mistake I made by leaving a trail. But that wouldn't save me now.
"If something happens to me, Dale loses his crown, doesn't he?"
Staring into her coffee, Hymn mourned. "Vera, you are bound. If you die, so would my dad."
My throat constricted with the idea that Dale's fate rested with mine. "Howard said the mate thing was a lie to get in my pants." I almost wanted his lie to be true now. It wasn't; I could feel Dale's moods like they were my own and hear his thoughts. Though, not as well as he could mine, it seemed.
"You know Howard was goading you."
"Hymn, am I selfish? It's just, Dale seems to be able to sense my moods and hear my thoughts, but I rarely feel his."
Blowing out a breath, Hymn leaned back in her chair. "Selfish would be a harsh way of describing you. You've spent your life keenly aware of the moods of others and hiding away from them. I would say that you close yourself off; that you're insulated. You feel your mate, but you don't acknowledge you do because it scares you. You more than likely feel his mood, but don't realize it's his."
"Jeremy has me keeping a diary of my moods. He wanted me to note when they changed."
"Sounds like something Jeremy would do. He studied psychology decades ago. He's probably working a way to get you to acknowledge the bond." Hymn smirked at me. "What are you feeling now?"
"Calm with an undercurrent of homicidal tendencies. I also want to pack my bags and high tail it out of here before Malcolm finds me."
Hymn nodded. "I'd say those first two are your Alpha because we are all feeling his rage right now. The fear, that's all yours."
"It always has been."
Chapter 23
"Vera." Jeremy marched into Dale's office, placing a folder on his desk. "I'll take you home."
"Dale?"
"He's angry and still has to finish his workday. Best to wait for him to cool down." Hoisting my bag, Jeremy held the door for me.
Following obediently, I kept a bit of distance between Jeremy and me. As a member of the pack, Jeremy held rank over me as the beta. His job was to protect me, and that meant I do as told when he gave an order.
