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From the moment I arrived, Ancelin was friendly and welcoming and keen on friendship. But, did she think that as my friend, she may become his lover again since I was joined by politics and not love? No, if she took another already, she'd not hoped to return to Luther's bed. So, how could she be so amiable toward the woman who stole her lover? I couldn't understand it, not from an Avalonian’s perspective, and certainly not from a Praldian's. They were the most jealous race I'd ever come across.
Rolling over, I folded my arms on the side of the bath, resting my chin upon them, so I could look out to the city lights. While I was highly emotional, I still could not comprehend jealousy. Trying a different tactic, I pretended Hartwin left me for another woman. Still, my anger remained focused on him, not the woman he'd chosen over me.
Okay, what if she'd targeted him? Tried to steal him from me and succeeded? How could she know I existed? He'd never proclaimed us. We'd always hidden our affair from everyone except our parents. Sighing heavily, I gave up. It was something I just couldn't comprehend.
I wanted to ask Luther if she knew and Ancelin if it hurt her. Would the asking, and my knowing, be a fresh heartache of its own? Too many unknowns. Too many variables. Too many emotions.
Closing my eyes, I focused on nothing, blackness, until everything but the sound of my breathing vanished. Slowly, my heightened emotions began to seep away. The stress and worries that were plaguing me were washed from my soul. My breathing slowed and evened out as I balanced myself again.
When the emotions were settled, and I'd retrieved the calmness in my head, I left the solitude of my bath. Wrapping only my robe around me as I walked, I slid open the bedroom door just an inch and then climbed into bed, waiting until I was under the covers to remove my robe. Slipping into the room, Chas barely glanced over where I huddled beneath the covers, then he closed the door and found his chair. I tried to sleep, but I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. Hyperaware that Chas was there watching me, I couldn't settle. Eventually, my frustration spread to him.
"Lay on your stomach, Princess," Chas murmured beside the bed. He was just a silhouette in the darkness, hovering there. Frowning, I rolled to my stomach with my hands beneath my head. Tucking the sheet to cover my shoulders, Chas then straddled my hips, making me startle.
"Relax, Princess, I have no intention other than putting you at ease."
Unsure but confident Chas wouldn't do anything to gain his Prince's ire, I settled back onto the bed, somewhat hesitant. Large warm hands were heavy upon my lower back and started pressing up over the sheet. "This would work faster and better skin to skin, but I understand the Avalonian conservatism."
Relaxing beneath him, his movements halfway between a massage and just touching as his hands worked over my back. When he reached my shoulders, Chas slid his hands from the sheet to touch my skin, but by then, I didn't care.
He continued rubbing my arms towards my hands, pushing them away from my head. As he reached my wrists, Chas leaned his body forward, pressing against mine. His hands covered mine, and he laid his whole weight upon me.
Sighing with relief from the physical contact, I then remembered who it was on me. "Chas."
"Relax, Princess. I am fully clothed, and you are covered. The prince will not take issue. We do not get jealous like that. I will stay until you sleep, and then I shall remove myself to my chair."
Squeezing his hand where it held mine in a ‘thank you’, I was already drifting into sleep. Light split the darkness of the room as the doors opened. Lifting his head, Chas removed himself from me.
"Did something happen, Elite Chas?" Luther asked, stepping into the room. "Why are you holding the Princess down?"
"The Princess was restless, Prince Saboa. I was merely offering physical proximity to help her settle, and it was working. The Princess was nearly asleep." Moving back to his chair, Chas collected his boots. He bowed to Luther, who nodded his head, waiting for Chas to leave, and then Luther shut the door behind him.
Closing my eyes since I wouldn't be able to see him correctly in the darkness, I sighed. "I tried waiting up for you," I murmured.
Nothing but silence greeted me. Accepting that Luther must be in the bathroom or wardrobe undressing, I rolled over and sat up in the darkness. Luther's silhouette stood at the end of the bed silently. "Are you angry with me about today?" No answer. "I don't mean to be needy, Luther, or to cause you issue. I just react to my emotions."
Shifting forward, Luther touched the end of the bed. The sheet started sliding away from me. I didn't try to grab it, just let it slip over my legs until I sat there uncovered.
"Come here," he growled low.
Tucking my legs around, I came onto all fours and crawled towards him. When I reached the end of the bed, I reached out to touch him and found him naked. Placing a hand on each of his hips, I kissed him low and worked my way up his body until I knelt looking up at him.
Luther took my face in his palms. "You have always been frustrating, Zira. I would have been naïve to think that would stop just because I forced you to be mine. I knew Abaddon would fight this, I knew you would hate this, I accepted you may hate me."
Shifting his hold on me, Luther helped me to stand on the platform surrounding the bed until I found myself at eye level with him. "I prayed you may desire me, and you do. I hoped you may like me, and you do. I planned you would bear a child for me" –his hand covered my womb— "and you do."
When he fell silent, I kissed him tentatively, unsure if it was right for me to do. Pulling me tight against him, Luther forced me to kiss him harder. Opening himself to me, Luther showed me his desire for me. It was more than physical; it possibly never was until our first night together. Had so much changed in the matter of a week? As Luther lifted my thighs to embrace his waist, to engulf him within me, I knew it had.
Never had I considered the prince even desirable before; I'd only liked and respected him. Now, I not only desired him, his touch, and his presence all the time, I realized that I more than wanted him.
I didn't love him. But what I felt for Luther fell on the border of love. It was something more profound than 'like' that would hurt me to lose him. It may not last, like friendships that sour past their use-by date. But right now, losing him was more than being vulnerable to the Barbarian. Losing Luther would be losing the first man to want me for me and willing to do something about it. That, to me, was worth more than any throne.
ChapterTwenty
"We will be right to go in a minute, Prince Saboa." Hartwin approached us where we sat on the lounge to speak quietly.
Setting down the broadcasting panel he'd been flicking through, Luther took my hand as he stood. The royal guard who wasn't on duty were ordered to surprise drills; something regularly done to keep them on their toes. They were up against the Elite, who were assured the Prince planned to stay in quarters for the morning.
This effectively removed any chance of someone entering the infirmary for the next hour as well as emptying it. The medics would be watching the training games to assist if an injury occurred, which I was guaranteed it would.
