Page 101 of Yours Actually


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I knew Callan was heading to Utah for highlining in October but I’d forgotten.Or more likely, intentionally pushed it from my mind.

“Not yet, but I’m going to talk to the guys while we’re in Utah.I think some of them may be interested,” Callan says.

“How about you, Liv?”Bradford asks.

My brain is all caught up in thinking about Callan risking his life up on a rope.I’ve always hated that he does this, but it suddenly seems even worse to me.

“Liv?”Gage says.“How does October look for you?”

I drag myself from all my thoughts over Callan highlining.“I’m good for October.”

As the conversation drifts to Bradford’s work and I turn inward with all my feelings and fears, Callan looks at me questioningly.“You okay, Ace?”

I nod even though I’m not sure I am.“I’m good.”

His eyes narrow at me.“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”I smile.“But I’m thirsty.I’m going to get a drink.Would you like something?”

He watches me for a long moment like he’s not quite convinced.Then, he says, “No, I’m good.”

I’m unable to push my thoughts over Callan’s highlining from my mind for the rest of the day.I don’t bring it up with him because I know they’re my fears that I have to learn to deal with.And highlining is something he loves to do.I would never ask my partner to give up a hobby he loves.However, none of that changes the fact I feel an intense fear deep in my gut every time I think about him stepping out onto that rope, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to manage this fear.

27

OLIVIA

The rain eases by Sunday morning and Callan and I head out for a hike just after breakfast.We talk about our week ahead and he shares with me that he’s having dinner with a guy tomorrow night who may invest in his German expansion.

I learned last night while listening to him and his father talk, that his dad is the one who has encouraged him to find an investor for this expansion.All the pieces of the puzzle fell into place for me at that point.

Callan loves risk, so I’ve wondered why he’s not just backing himself with the business growth he’s chasing.He hasn’t built a company the size of his by not backing himself in the past.Now, I know this change in his behavior is because his father has put this idea in his head.

We make some plans for the week ahead and he tries to convince me again to run with Slade’s ideas for my remodel.He also expresses frustration with Harper over the fact she’s told me she doesn’t love my suggestions for her wedding but won’t put the time in herself to figure out what she does want.I agree with him, which I know surprises him.I’ve never said a bad word about my cousin, but lately, I’m feeling used.And I’m wishing I hadn’t said yes to helping her with the wedding.

After a long, lazy lunch with everyone, we drive home while listening to the playlist I made with some of our favorite songs.

When the country song starts playing that Callan turned up once during one of our other drives home, he looks at me with a shake of his head.

I grin.“I know how much you love your country.”

We get back to his condo around five p.m.after stopping a couple of times along the way.Callan heads into his gym after we unpack while I prep my lunches for the week and do some life admin.

Neither of us are too hungry, so we decide to skip dinner in favor of something light to eat on the couch while we watch a movie.

After five minutes of searching for something to watch, Callan eyes me.“It’s all shit.”

I laugh at his grumbly tone.He hates looking for shows or movies to watch and can never find anything of interest.“Pass me the remote.I’ll find something.”

I scroll for a few minutes and when I land on a documentary about alpine climbers racing to set new records, Callan says, “That looks good.”

It’s one of the last shows I would ever choose to watch, but since he appears super interested in it, I let it play.

As I watch the truly terrifying things these guys do, like climbing solo without equipment, I say, “I don’t understand why they would do all this.”

Callan looks at me.“There’s a lot of reasons.Pushing limits, conquering fears, learning things about yourself.”

“Surely there are other ways to do those things.”

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