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This isn't going well.
I try to laugh it off and act cool. "Haha, I was just kidding." I avert my eyes away from his face.
Nathan takes a sip of his beer. "Sure, you were," he teases with a wink.
I blush a deep red and try to find the words to explain myself, but none come out. I just stand there frozen like the cement pillar next to me in this dingy basement.
"Yo, Nathan!"
Nathan turns his head away from me. "What's up, bro?! How's it going?"
I look over to see a group of Nathan's football buddies coming down the stairs. He turns his body away from me next and puts his attention on them as they walk toward him.
I take that as my chance to flee this shit show and slip out of his sight. As I slink back toward Maddy, I guess my embarrassment is palpable judging by her face.
"What happened?" she asks with a raised brow.
I huff and flop down into the chair next to her. "Nothing... I fucking blew it." I throw my hands across my chest. "I thought he was leaning in to kiss me and then I made a move and he totally rejected me, saying that I'm 'Jake's little sis'."
Maddy shakes her head and rolls her eyes back. "So what? What's the problem with having a crush on your brother's best friend?”
I've had a crush on him for so long. He's been my brother Jake's best friend since middle school. He is always over at our house. And whenever he is over, I find myself making whatever excuse I can to go into Jake's room to be closer to Nathan.
“The problem is that he doesn’t have a crush on me, Mad. That’s the problem. He thinks I’m just some dumb little girl, not worth his attention.”
“Don’t worry, girl. There are plenty of fish in the sea,” Maddy says as she opens her hand, gesturing to all the other guys at the party. "Nathan's a jerk anyways."
I smile sadly. I can't help but still feel the sting of rejection. Maddy is right. Nathan can be a real jerk, but I know he has a soft side too. I’ve seen it. And he’s the only guy that I want.
I look across the room at Nathan, who is now surrounded by other girls that are all fawning over him. I see him put his arm around Stacey Mastin, the lead varsity cheerleader, and my heart breaks.
He pulls her onto his lap and starts making out with her.
I take a deep breath, willing my eyes to look away and stop torturing myself.
It’s time to move on.
* * *
6 years later
"Want a glass?" I start to pour red wine before Maddy even has time to answer. I know she does.
"You know I do, boo,” she replies, reading my mind as she plops herself down on the white sectional in my living room. "Ahhhhhhhhh... it's been too long since we had quality girl time."
"I know! Life is so busy now that we are grown-ass adults!" I hand her the glass of wine. We both laugh and raise our glasses in a toast.
"To too many years of being friends." Maddy winks at me.
"To too many years of being friends," I echo and tip my chin up high.
We both take a sip and sit in comfortable silence for a few moments, savoring the taste of the wine. It feels so good to be with her again.
Maddy is my rock. She gets me and she always has.
"So, what's going on? Are you back on dating apps now that you are single?" Maddy twirls the wine around in her glass. "I know things with Brad took a toll on you."
She's not wrong about that.
