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“Be gentle. Be patient.” Kaito looks toward Kai with the deepest longing. I understand how he feels. “And above all, we should help her feel as if life is worth living by reminding her that she isn’t alone.”
I reach toward Kai. She doesn’t flinch in her sleep. Her guard is down, and it makes me realize I’m reaching without asking for consent so I tuck my hand away. When she’s ready, she’ll search for my touch, but until then, I’ll be her gentle protector, her songbird, anything she needs me to be.
I will spend the rest of my life singing away her nightmares, and if that is all I’ll ever get to be, then that will be more than enough.
“We show her what life can be,” I say, making the promise to myself as much as I am to Kaito. “We love her.”
Kaito doesn’t answer, but I know he feels the same. We will be the light to her darkness. There is plenty of darkness in me, and I fear that it will spill into her own, but the brightness she brings gives me hope that I can be the gentle beast she needs.
Until she needs a violent one.
Something tells me that day may come sooner than we’re prepared for.
I settle into my spot and calm myself by watching her chest rise and fall.
She’s breathing.
She’s alive.
Chapter
Ten
KAI
It has been almost a week since the attack, and I find myself dusting off my behind as I stand after tending to the dying fire. The sun shines even through the fog, and animals call in the distance—not big beasts, but the little ones that inhabit the forest. Everything is good. I am sleeping and eating. I do not feel afraid at this moment. As usual, Weyland’s and Kaito’s eyes go to me from where they are placing traps.
I have been learning to be helpful as much as possible. Weyland showed me how to prepare fish the other day, though his claws made it easier than my blunt knife, which I have hidden in the folds of my dress. As they work on our protection, I work on our cabin, making it homier. I feel like I have a purpose, at least a little one, and that has helped me regain a bit of strength and confidence.
“You mentioned showing me this world. I think I would like to do that today,” I murmur, but they still hear me. They always hear me. I could whisper that I need their help into the forest and they would always find me. Without even meaning to, they are destroying my walls one by one with their kindness and understanding, never pushing me. Even with Merryl, hepressured me a little, never more than I was comfortable with, but the stress was there nevertheless. My monsters want nothing but to help me. Maybe it is time I let them. I cannot die now without at least knowing I tried to live. Not for me, but for them.
“Are you sure?” Kaito, my soft protector, asks, searching my gaze as he washes his hands.
Steeling myself, I roll my shoulders back and smile as much as I can. It’s soft but still there, and he grins widely at it. “I’m sure.”
“Let me clean up, and then we can show you around. Just some close places I know of.” He looks at Weyland to check and nods.
Weyland jumps up swiftly before freezing, his eyes going to me in panic, but I simply smile. He moved fast, but I know he would never hurt me. Still, guilt fills his eyes before he relaxes. Hunching his shoulders so he seems smaller, he moves to the water and washes his hands and fur before turning back to us. Holding out his hand to me, he swallows nervously and waits.
Strong, I tell myself.Be strong.
Taking a deep breath, I place one hand in Weyland’s and my other hand in Kaito’s, and we set off into the surrounding woods together.
I see hope in their hearts and eyes.
They want to save me, and part of me hopes they can.
“Where are we going?”I finally ask as they lead me through the woods. We stop every once in a while for one of them to show me an animal, a plant, or a tree. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this place so filled with life. Even in the shadowsand fog, it thrives. The darkness does not keep it down, and maybe that’s what they are trying to show me.
I can thrive, even in the dark.
“You’ll see. We’re almost there.” Weyland shares a grin with Kaito, and I simply smile and nod, trusting them to know where they are going because I was lost after the first minute of plunging into the forest. Every single direction looks the same to me, and I know I couldn’t find the cabin even if I wanted to.
It means I have to put a lot of trust in them, which is a big step for me, but I’m determined to see this through. If not for me, then for them.
They tug me along after them, deeper into the forest. I tire quickly, my body not used to this much exercise anymore. Before the Gilded Lands, I worked the fields and spent all day toiling. It made my muscles strong, and I was fast and sure. The Gilded Lands, amongst other things, made me soft. It’s just another thing I lost.
It’s a sour reminder, and I’m about to demand we go back when we break through the trees and I get my first glimpse of the place they have brought me to.
