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I duck my head once more, hiding my smile as I get to work. After all, here in the Dead Lands, there is always work to be done to stay alive.
Nothing here is given; everything is earned.
After a long dayof hard work that leaves me exhausted but keeps me occupied and feeling useful, we all collapse around the fire Dade and Weyland built when night descends. The slight chill leaves me huddling closer to the flames, the moonlight bathing us in its beauty. The cabin is cleaned, the clothes are repaired, and we have hunted and foraged enough food for a few days. We have an overflowing stock of wood thanks to Dade, and I managed to wash and untangle my hair and braid it back. I even helped Kaito fix a leaking hole in the roof, which was fun.
Sitting with the flames warming me, I lean into Kaito’s side, his arm resting on the ground behind me to allow me to prop myself up. My gaze lingers on Dade across from me. His red eyes are locked on the flames and lost in memory, no doubt, but as if feeling my look, his eyes slowly rise and meet my own. As they do, I shudder. The power in his gaze is almost too much, yet I do not drop my own. Watching the flames dance in those red orbs as we observe one another, I feel like it’s almost a religious experience, this acknowledgement of the monster he is contrasting with the gentleness with which he holds himself. How strange to recognize that and not be afraid.
I have so many questions, but for a moment, I let the peace stretch, enjoying their company.
It is then I notice I have not thought of my past or my need to enter death’s embrace once today. Today, I simply existed.
“There are no others of me,” he finally says under my perusal, his voice startling me because I was so lost in the spell in those eyes. “Not anymore. There was once a great many of my kind. Now, I am the last.”
I feel Weyland’s pain at that as he eyes Dade with something akin to understanding, that wary fear he had been watching him with lessening. “Me as well.”
Dade nods. “I heard of the downfall of the great lycans. I am truly sorry for your loss.”
“As am I for yours.” Weyland nods, bowing his head in respect. “Tales of your kind were told to us since birth. I am sorry that is all lost.”
“I am still alive, so not all is lost. Change is never easy. I grieve for those of mine that I lost, but that change also brought me freedom from the war chains and . . . now to here.” Dade’s eyes come back to me. “To you, the one who quiets the war drums and madness my kind is cursed with.”
“Cursed?” I ask curiously.
“A story for another time. It is not a tale of happiness, little one,” he admits, his arms pressed to his knees.
“I do not think any of ours are. Maybe that is why we were drawn together,” I muse, bringing my eyes back to the fire, unable to meet his as I admit that. I feel his gaze once more and, taking a steadying breath, I lean back more solidly into Kaito. “I was hurt by the humans. By my own kind. When Kaito saved me, I was plummeting to my death quite literally. He nursed me back to health, but every day is hard. I bear and live with the scars they left on my soul and body.” Swallowing, I look up then to see every eye locked on me. Shrinking slightly, I firmly place my gaze back on the fire, knowing they are all eager to help.
To know.
“The truth is, I was nothing before, and I am nothing now. I was a lowly peasant, destined to toil the fields and marry a man who would become my provider and the rule maker. I was happy with that life where others were not. I craved the simplicity of that existence and happiness. It all changed so suddenly, and although I ended up surrounded by riches and food that othersonly dreamed of, I was completely alone, and the price was far too steep.”
“Who hurt you?” Dade practically growls, and it raises the hair on my arms even as it feels comforting.
You could carve the tension in the air with a blade for the way they all await my answer. “The king,” I finally admit. Dade stands, and I peer up at him with wide eyes. “Where are you going?”
“To hunt this king.” I see the truth in his eyes. He would hunt down a man on nothing more than my word and make him pay. It makes me smile as I sit up.
“Dade, although that is very sweet, it has already been done. The king is no more, and I am free.”
“Not from the memories,” he murmurs as he sits stiffly. “I know that too well.”
I incline my head before sitting back and relaxing. “Very true, but nobody can save me from them.”
“Watch us.” Weyland speaks for the first time, and I meet his eyes. “Watch us save you from them.”
The smile that blooms on my lips is fuller than any I have ever given before.
True happiness pours through me. And to think, all it took was being surrounded by monsters.
Chapter
Nineteen
KAI
As the sun rises and the land around us awakens, I come to a decision. Today will be a good day. Today is the day I take control of my life. I have spent too long living for others. First my parents, then my . . . my lover, and then the king.
No more.
